Dreading the winter without garden visits.

We seem to have different notions of the risks and the current policies.
My DSis, who lives in the south of England, thinks it's OK to come to Scotland for a holiday next month. She will even stay in an hotel to not be a bother but would like to see us too..
I should be pleased but I just can't. I am angry at her for travelling at this time. Why can't she wait until next year?
We have been at home shielding since the start with very few outings.
Also, nothing much is open to visit and it will be starting to get dark in the evenings.
Am I turning into a boring spoilsport?

I don't think I'm certain of what the advice actually is any more....

I'm with Bluebelle on this one.
Plus, the more you wear masks, the more you are lowering your immune system to fight the bugs and viruses to come in winter months!

Well one things for sure, we are all going to find out sooner or later.
Surely, common sense must be the guide for everybody.

NannyC2 You say Plus, the more you wear masks, the more you are lowering your immune system to fight the bugs and viruses to come in winter months!

How can wearing a mask lower your immune system?

I agree with you PinkRinse. I am cautious, I don't take unnecessary risks, however I have weighed up the pros and cons and decided that quality of life is more important to me than quantity. My family does not suffer (!) from longevity, and I am not going to spend what I have left avoiding my family and friends.

“Dreading” ?
Why not just take a week at a time- no need for premature doom and gloom surely?

NotTooOld, perhaps you could set up a small heater under a garden umbrella in your garden to allow for outdoor visits during the winter.

My mother in law lives in an assisted-living building and they have now been allowed only one designated visitor in their suite, and the others must visit outdoors under a covered patio. We will have to make do with hot tea and blankets on our laps.

My DH and I are under 60, but he has had heart issues so we are careful. For us is is limiting visitors to a very few, and being extra vigilant with hand washing and sanitizing door handles etc. I think when the grand children go to school we will have to look closely at any cases in our area.

Can I say that I am not happy (was going to write 'am horrified' at people talking about running outdoor heaters in their gardens, etc during bad weather, so that they can continue to see people.
Have we all forgotten about the far, far greater danger to the planet. Corona Virus by no means will wipe out human race, but global warming is very likely to do that, plus a lot of other animal life.
Surely, have visitors in a well ventilated room, sitting a few feet from each other, and do not waste valuable heating out of doors.

MawB2

“Dreading” ?
Why not just take a week at a time- no need for premature doom and gloom surely?

Thank you all for your comments, especially MawB2 above. A very sensible and cheering message, methinks.

Everybody will have a, different level of risk that they're prepared to take, just as, they did before Covid.

However, today I had a phone call from a friend. She has maintained her fairly active social life, her daughters, and their children visit once or twice weekly, she goes out with friends in their cars for lunch etc and she was telling me about the birthday party she went to - indoors, but big rooms.

That's her decision. But she then went on to tell me how she had called in on some other mutual friends. Both of them older than us, shielding, one with cancer, one recovered from cancer but with only one lung.

It isn't fair to take your risk decision to other people.

My life is so normal that most of the time I forget about it
I'm lucky that I don't have to shop for food. OH does that.
I've bought most stuff online for a long time so no change there.
Been seeing friends and family for a long time. I do miss a normal pub and my quiz nights.

Everyone posting here should read BLUECAT's post. A thoughtful intelligent and non-judgemental of other people choices. Thank you.

Illte
Your friend was both irresponsible and thoughtless to visit those older friends. She should have respected their need to continue to be extremely careful, which clearly she did not do. Very selfish of her.

Illte’s friend was a little insensitive visiting older friends, however, the friends also had a part to play and could have said no to her coming in or asked her to remain in the garden. We all have individual responsibility for our own health/levels of comfort.

I was shielded due to asthma and other chest complications. We also tragically lost a member of our family to Covid in April, she was a frontline healthcare worker aged only 41 and has left two young boys and a devastated husband. Do you know what though? It’s only served to reinforce the fact that life is precious, it can end suddenly and without warning and we shouldn’t waste it by sitting behind closed doors, full of fear, slowly turning inwards and prejudicing our mental and physical health. Lack of stimulus, exercise etc can all have significant detrimental long term effects as we are designed to live as social beings. As FM said today we cannot let this pandemic define our lives.

As a family we have had long conversations to establish what works for us. We are adhering to guidelines as far as possible and taking sensible precautions re distancing, sanitising etc. We may not catch the virus if we remain isolated but at what cost? Our quality of life will deteriorate if we live circumscribed by fear.....what is the point in preserving life if we then don’t live it? I owe it to my family member to live the life she tragically lost.

Grammaretto - just popped back to say No, you are not a boring spoilsport! Or if you are, then I am as well. Totally agree with you.

NotTooOld thanks.