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Estrangement

For All Mums On Mothers Day ( Estrangement)

(35 Posts)
MBM Sat 13-Mar-21 06:41:21

As tomorrow is Mother’s Day l realise how painful it will be for Mums who have no contact with their Sons, Daughter’s
or Grandchildren .
For me it’s only been three years but l realise for many it’s much longer.
I could never have imagined the pain estrangement brought l miss my daughter and my beautiful Grandchildren so much .
There was no argument just a new partner who took control within a few months , the last card l had from her was a few weeks before he moved in saying ( Mum if I’m half the Mum you are to me , , l will be a Wonderful Mum . thank you for always being there for me ) l have tried to contact with no response, presents returned and now they have moved and l don’t know where she or the children are .. l have no family and just a few friends who live the other side of the country.
I can only pray one day they will contact me when they are older. Each day l hope & l pray that her and my grandchildren are safe and happy
Yes Mothers Day will be dreadful and each one seems to get harder.
I hope all Mums who are going through this can find some kind of Peace .
Take care & stay safe
Nana 2

Chardy Sat 13-Mar-21 06:53:09

Really sorry MBM to hear that you don't know where your daughter and grandchildren are. There aren't words to console you, but many of us will be thinking of you and those in a similar position tomorrow.

Sparkling Sat 13-Mar-21 07:06:13

MBM, ? I know inside your heart is broken, try for your sake to make as good a life for yourself as you can. Who knows one day your daughter and grandchildren will contact you. You sound a good mom and what's more your daughter knows that to, that is why she sent you that card, so you know that and she does too. Don't do what I did and waste years grieving because the person I hurt the most was me.

Gwenisgreat1 Sat 13-Mar-21 07:15:26

Oh! MBM what a dreadful situation to be in. I will pray that you hear from them soonsad

nanna8 Sat 13-Mar-21 07:27:54

How awful for you. I hope your daughter is ok. There are quite a few of these control freaks around and I find them very scary indeed. We have one in our family but he has improved with age, I have to say. There isn’t a lot you can do really but I do sincerely hope nothing awful has happened because it is a bit odd to be that extreme.

keepingquiet Sat 13-Mar-21 08:08:16

Sending you love, hugs and courage MBM x

Whiff Sat 13-Mar-21 08:32:45

MBM I am sorry for your loss and not knowing where they are is heart breaking. This will be my first mother's without anything from my son and grandson's. I have been shocked how much it had has effected me . I had accepted the fact he doesn't want me with the help of Smileless2012 and others on that thread. I have 3 grandson's with him and my daughter in law. I don't even know the name of the youngest or his exact date of birth he was due in July.

Luckily I have a wonderful daughter ,son in law and 2 grandson's with them.

Every mother's day advert has seemed to mock me . I know that's daft. But felt the same after my husband died all the cancer ones effected me the same.

It's I am not after presents the cards where always what I liked best of all.
Don't know how to end this so will stop.

???????? To all mom's

Pantglas2 Sat 13-Mar-21 11:34:30

Kind thoughts for all mothers going through this. I was in this situation for many years but we’ve been reconciled for the last decade and I do hope that things can be resolved ?

Jennyluck Sat 13-Mar-21 11:58:18

That’s a very sad story MBM, I really feel for you. Until it happens to you, you just can’t imagine the heartache it brings. I think we all start off thinking, it would never happen to us.
It’s been about 4 years for me now, and I’ve sort of come to terms with it.
But Mother’s Day is hard, for all estranged moms.
Sending all of you a big hug. ??xx

Bm82 Sat 13-Mar-21 12:00:35

Thank you. I'm so glad that I am not alone in this dreadful situation. I didn't see it coming 2years ago having had what I thought was a lovely relationship with my daughter ,her husband and my granddaughter who is now 6yrs old.

Namsnanny Sat 13-Mar-21 12:05:58

MBM ... what a sad sad situation flowers
Thank you for posting as I expect a lot of us are feeling at a low ebb, I know I am!♥️

NellG Sat 13-Mar-21 12:07:13

MBM from my heart to yours flowers

sodapop Sat 13-Mar-21 13:11:18

Such a sad situation MBM I hope you are reconciled in the future thanks

lavenderzen Sat 13-Mar-21 13:14:54

For all flowers So very hard xx

Smileless2012 Sat 13-Mar-21 13:26:27

It's an awful thing to have to live with MBMsad. For me anyway the pain has eased over the last 8 years but mother's day always feels like a kick in the teeth.

"Every mother's day advert has seemed to mock me" I used to feel that way too Whiff but I now see it's or ES who is being mocked.

Everything those adds say is what we did for our ES, what you did for your EAC and what all the EP's who post here have done for their children. One of them in particular apart from 'you always stood in goal for me'; nope never did that but plenty of everything else and more beside.

tinaf1 Sat 13-Mar-21 13:45:56

Although I do read a lot of estrangement posts I have never posted before ,

? ? These are for you MBM and all the other mums & dads who are going through this it can happen in any family, thinking of you all especially with it being an such an horrendous year.

Jennyluck Sat 13-Mar-21 13:56:56

Agree with you Smileless2012, all the things we did for them, not because we had to. But it was all done because we loved them. My ES told me, don’t expect me to be grateful for anything you’ve done, it’s only what any parent would do.
I knew then our relationship was over.
I’d never have said that to my mom. I knew she’d always done her best for me, even though my dad was constantly ill.
I think some of the esc have no conscience.

Madgran77 Sat 13-Mar-21 19:35:34

To all of you who are facing an estranged Mothers Day flowers

And to those who fear that this will happen to them in the future, despite their best efforts, flowers

Mother's Day is a day that highlights so many feelings around estrangement

Whiff Sun 14-Mar-21 05:24:23

Hope everyone gets through mother's day the best way you can. My daughter and gang will be round this morning. Luckily we are eachother's bubble. So I get to see them weekly. But today is also the date of the last time I saw and held 2 grandson's with my son..The eldest features probably haven't altered but of course he will have grown. His brother's features will have altered and his hair might have changed colour and he will also have grown. It's a year and children change so much. They are 4 and 2 . The baby I like to think looks like they did as babies. The only photo of him is a 20 week scan. Wish I knew his name and date of birth.
Been plagued with nightmares the last 4 nights . I know why it's because of today. I am very good at analysing why I feel things. I have had nightmares since puberty but since moving here these are the first ones.

??????????????? For mother's everywhere.

Anniebach Sun 14-Mar-21 09:05:32

Please forgive me for this, I ache for all who are estranged from their child.

I have two daughters, received a card from my younger daughter this morning, will not receive one from my darling elder daughter, she is dead .

How I wish she was alive , with her husband and three children, I would struggle with being estranged from her but
she would be alive living her life .

I send hugs to all x

Susan56 Sun 14-Mar-21 09:19:59

Annie?

Septimia Sun 14-Mar-21 09:20:27

Love to everyone who finds today difficult.

Redhead56 Sun 14-Mar-21 09:23:57

To all mums have the best day you can❤️

Littleannie Sun 14-Mar-21 09:32:40

The last text I had from my son, a few months ago, said "why don't you die? The sooner you die the better. Nobody will miss you". I have 2 grandchildren.

Madgran77 Sun 14-Mar-21 10:36:31

Annie ??