Limcha
Whether or not one continuing a relationship is regarded as a sense of ‘duty’ is up for that individual alone to decide in the case of dysfunctional familial relationships. For some, there is no ‘duty’ to override when they are mistreated. Duty simply isn’t a factor when it comes to suffering and not suffering. We cannot decide for others what their duties are to begin with.
Exactly
This article and I guess this thread is there to support those making a hard decision.
Not those making an easy decision, a coerced decision or an emotionally violent decision.
It's hard enough to do without some of the expectations "others" place on you. The judgement, the declarations that they would "never estrange".
The truth is that they just haven't walked your path.
When someone who hasn't walked your path judges you, it's not really about you at all. It's about them.
If someone wants to make a situation that they aren't involved with, about themselves, it's a red flag.
Amongst all the issues mentioned in the article, it can be the hardest to deal with, that judgement. When you are just struggling to find yourself after being told who you are for such a long time. When trying to find yourself you are constantly tripped up or hit roadblocks of judgement.
Whether those who judge are doing it knowingly or not, they are basically re-traumatising you. It's another form of abuse.
But at some point on that healing journey... it just stops working. You realise the judgement of others isn't about you. It's all about them, their needs, their wants.
Because a good person, a true, kind and empathetic person, just doesn't do that.
So they must be getting something out of it for themselves. Whether that is simply them hiding from themselves the truth of their own paths or something more sinister.. it doesn't really matter.
When you realise other people's feelings about your situation are not your responsibility... it is entirely freeing
You are already flying free while they are held to the ground by the weight of their own unresolved issues