Harry: "I want my Father back. I want my brother back"

Cool

Because I've got a pretty thick skin and this is all a bit pointless

Have I mentioned I had an abusive mother? You'd have to try pretty hard to outdo her and I won there anyway

VioletSky

Cool

Because I've got a pretty thick skin and this is all a bit pointless

Have I mentioned I had an abusive mother? You'd have to try pretty hard to outdo her and I won there anyway

What does this mean? I wasn’t aware there was some kind of competition going on here.
My views on Harry are minority, I occasionally contribute, haven’t got into rows with the others despite our different view points. The emotional and psychological difficulties Harry is so open about are obviously causing many of us to reflect on our experiences, belief systems and family dynamics.
Where’s the competition you say yiu won Violet?

Sorry, playing Destiny 2, will look later

I have no idea what you mean, Violetsky 🤔

We were discussing Harry and his problems which all seem to have culminated in his outpourings in this book.

If he did have therapy, it seems to have been wasted money because he is obviously not at peace with himself yet.

I don't usually venture on to the Estrangement threads.

Have I mentioned I had an abusive mother? You'd have to try pretty hard to outdo her and I won there anyway
Is it a case of winning at any cost?

Victory doesn't always bring peace but a truce could, perhaps. I hope Harry can find peace in the future even if for the sake of his children.

As Kate commented this week, talking therapies don’t work for everyone
I’m not being flippant though I did smile when I wondered Callistemon, what Harry would be like if he’d had no therapy

He’s taken to the American way hasn’t he. Get therapy, get more therapy, talk about your therapy. If you’re a public figure, talk about your therapy publicly.

I’m sympathetic to Harry but if I was his friend I’d advise talking with the therapist, not the world

Up until now, I have been reading this thread, amongst others, as I am interested in the royal family and people’s perspectives on Harry & Meghan. My view is that I cannot understand why anyone would begrudge Harry the right to tell his own life story, especially when he has clearly stated that he feels that it’s been incorrectly told for him since the day that he was born and harmfully so. In terms of his family that is his experience and it is no crime to say that you have been hurt by family’s actions and in fact important that it is said in my opinion. From reading his book and listening to his interview he has attempted this several times in private and got nowhere.
There are several people here that hold the total opposite view - and that is absolutely expected and fine and has been interesting to see perspectives different from my own though I disagree with the way that they have been expressed.
The reason I am posting now to say Violet Sky , I think you should come off this thread, not because you have said anything wrong whatsoever, in fact I agree with most of your views on Harry, but because the way you have been spoken to by the members of Gransnet on this thread is at best awful and at worse a really horrible example of bullying. I am absolutely disgusted at grown adults carrying on this way to another human being and some of the comments about why VS holds her views which she is perfectly entitled to do so, are insulting and full of venom, attempting to dissect her thoughts and feelings. Horrible. VS I think you have expressed yourself in a thoughtful sensitive way despite being effectively goaded and criticised. Well done for being so classy. I will not be reading anymore of this hateful nonsense towards another person.

volver

I don't think anybody suggested you would OnwardandUpward.

Doesn't change the facts though.

True.

I am against pirating and theft. I just meant I wouldn't read the book even if it was free.

Harry appears to have no compunction in dragging William's children into his meltdown either.

"Prince Harry has shared his concerns over Princes George and Louis and Princess Charlotte that one of his nephews or niece "could end up like him" as the "spare" of the family."
"He said: "I know that out of those three children, at least one will end up like me, the spare. And that hurts, it worries me."
"However he added that Prince William had dismissed these fears, saying: "He has made it very clear to me that his kids are not my responsibility."

And William is quite right too. I'd like to think that he told him to mind his own damned business and concentrate on his own family's well being.

Cakeface

Harry appears to have no compunction in dragging William's children into his meltdown either.

"Prince Harry has shared his concerns over Princes George and Louis and Princess Charlotte that one of his nephews or niece "could end up like him" as the "spare" of the family."
"He said: "I know that out of those three children, at least one will end up like me, the spare. And that hurts, it worries me."
"However he added that Prince William had dismissed these fears, saying: "He has made it very clear to me that his kids are not my responsibility."

And William is quite right too. I'd like to think that he told him to mind his own damned business and concentrate on his own family's well being.

They'll be fine.
Read my predictions!! 😁

I agree Callistemon they seem 3 very happy, well loved and well balanced children. Having Catherine as their mother is a bonus.

VioletSky

Realistically, a lot of estrangement situations have a direct link to not listening to what the other party says.

For instance, mine.

When I met with my mother to try and resolve things I listened to what she had to say and I apologised for times she expressed were painful for her. It doesn't matter what my perception of those times were, what mattered were her feelings.

Unfortunately she did not reciprocate and could not meet me half way.

When I estranged I found myself on the receiving end of a lot of people who had listened to my mother's side of events or just objectively looked at the fact that I had estranged my own mother and thought they were entitled to tell me what a terrible person I was without hearing my side.

It's drama and gossip they seemed to enjoy

For their own reasons they had their opinion to me and felt good about it.

Whether that was because they felt good having a go at me, or they felt they were defending the real victim or whether they felt they could be a hero and save the relationship...

It was wrong

I no longer have a relationship with these people and I am not invested in what they think of me.

I agree with you VS. I am estranged from my son because I stopped listening to his insults and attempts to bully me and I fully admit that. I literally can do nothing right so I have decided to do nothing and live in peace. This is after years of him trying to control and dominate, abuse and coerce. After bending over backwards to try and accomodate, being cut off unexpectedly and never knowing where I stood- I stopped partaking.

So sorry for the pain and blame. That really is horrible and I have had my mother's friends attack me. Indeed she has set up all manner of people to attack me. I know it's really a shock and horrible to be in that situation. Really unfair. In contrast, I have not told a soul- the only people who know about my son are here on GN. No one in my direct family or any of my friends even knows. I am a bit ashamed to say it was me who stopped talking or to tell anyone the things he has said and done to me, but happy enough to share anonymously. In fact it's a relief.

I'm so sorry your Mother could not reciprocate or meet you half way*VS*. If my son was wanting that, I certainly would do anything I could to accommodate him.

Communication is good because it can mean you're halfway there- but it can be bad when someone is using it to abuse you. Cutting contact with nasty people can only bring much needed peace.

Having Catherine in the RF Is a bonus for all of them.

True, this is not about any of us but only about the RF.
Thankfully we are none of us caught up in such a public debacle, personally, though we naturally feel concern for our Royal Family as we would feel concern for anyone going through such a public and concerning problem.

Personally I have no problem discussing MH or the issues raised. It is probably good to air them and talking about things is certainly healthier than bottling them up. It is a shame Harry could not have used anonymous chat sites to talk about his problems the way we can. He could have said "the family business" and other codes for his family's problems.

GN is anonymous so no one is breaking anyone's confidentiality, unlike what H has done to his family.

Onward

When it's an abusive person, all bets are just off. There just isn't anything you can do...

They have to heal themselves first

If my mother did that I'd forgive her but I would never expect anyone else to.

Actually maybe I'm past that point now honestly as it's just been too long

Josie thank you for saying that, I really am OK, although it does ruin the discussion for people like yourself so I'll try and ignore it in future

Yes VS, when it's an abusive person I think you do need to be prepared to walk away.

If anyone is being harmed by anyone and they are stronger without that person in their life, then it is a good reason to walk away.....

Thankfully, most of us are content to talk about our losses anonymously and not write a book to shame our family.

VS I am glad you are okay 💐 You deserve to be treated with common courtesy and basic human respect at the minimum. Some people on this thread certainly need to look at their manners! I am definitely off, I was here to read and possibly participate in a discussion, not to watch adults behave as though they are in the playground toward another person. I just wanted to respond to you before I go. You take care if you stay on here x

Josie

Plenty of people write books onward

There have been lots of books about mothers like mine for example that I've found very helpful.

Tbh with you, if I had the ability to write a book about my experiences and it might help people I might consider it

Also the price of things these days, a few extra quid would soothe a few of those mother wounds

Lol I'm joking

It's not for me and you run the risk of people absolutely tearing you down for no reason just saying " I'm estranged" which I wouldn't want to be a legacy I handed to my children...

But Harry comes from a long line of people who wrote books and did dodgy interviews so it's normal for him

As I said earlier, these things need unravelling from beginning to end.
Doing it from end to beginning helps no one.

As an example, if any adult says to another adult "you were the worst [insert family member here] and I don't want a relationship with you". Focusing on that and how upset and angry that makes the estrangee instead of what happened to reach that point, will help absolutely noone.

To unravel this, it starts in Harry's childhood, not his behaviour now

Do tell what you know about Harry’s childhood, apart from resenting his brother, that wouldn’t have affected William too.

Excuses, excuses. Providing excuses
For current abuses is just?
Two wrongs make a right?
Well some here think they might
So do carry on, if you must.

^Excuses, excuses. Providing excuses
For current abuses is just?
Two wrongs make a right?^

This rang a very loud bell with me! I have a very dear friend who was sexually abused by her father from a young age. To this day she cannot wear lipstick because he always applied it to her before the abuse. She found out he was abused by his father, but made a conscious decision that the abuse stopped with her. Her children were raised in safety and love. Harry could equally decide that "wrongs" stop with him, a new day, a new life, start with a clean slate. But I suspect nothing will ever be enough, no apology would satisfy him, he needs to be a victim. It's very sad, unless he lets go he will never be free. Diana was not the saint he envisages her to be, perhaps he can't risk the shattering of his ideation.

Some like Harry carry that big bundle of what they consider, wrongs inflicted on them whilst young, on their backs. They want to be victims and tell everyone how they have suffered. The more they have been a victim the more sympathy they think they have. Other people have their own problems, some enormous. Most of things he talks about, sibling rivalry fir a start, a lot people have have experienced themselves, You decide if you want to be a bitter, indulged spoilt brat all your life or maybe just think of making a difference. The trouble is Harry has children, however good a parent he proclaims to be, those children don’t deserve this toxic atmosphere that surrounds this couple. You only have to look at him to see the bitterness. One day those children, will read all this and clear off.
Where is Megan, usually glued to his side, is she at home letting all this furore go over her head, concentrating on being a mom in a calm atmosphere?
What a shame if he’s done all this and they split up.
Do hope they don’t attend the Coronation, can understand RF nor responding, but how they could even think anyone else in the country want to see them I don’t know, rewarding this disgusting public laundry washing. Let’s have some dignity back please.

VS why do you keep referring to your mother, we don’t know her, only what you say about her.

Well Charles could have chosen not to marry a 19 year old and then have an affair with the woman he always loved, but he decided not to do that, it's a choice, or rather it's an endless soap opera.

Has he said he has always loved Camilla ?

To lighten the moan. Have you heard Ben Kearns reading Spare as his character Matt Berry. Funny. 🤣

Mood not moan🤦