Putting myself on the chopping block ...

Well, it seems like a waste of time, but perhaps some people like wasting time.

Not very pleasant, though, as you say.😗

IMO this thread has done a disservice to the d's.i.l. who have extremely difficult m's.i.l. and are genuine when they say they want to talk about their experiences here on GN, to offer an alternative perspective.

It does seem like a waste of time, for the OP and those who took the time to respond DL.

This daughter-in-law has been here before looking for help (quote a long time ago)
At that point it was all still going on.
Some people were helpful and a few were not.

I'm happy to have her back again.

Is a few people not being helpful a reason to come onto a forum where EP's and EGP's share their painful experiences, to goad them NotSpaghetti?

Have you seen IHateHypocrites post @ 00.32 where the OP aka Girlmom has posted on the group for d's.i.l. "I love putting them in their place"; "I went in hard and she refused to engage" and "hold onto your boots ladies, I'm going in".

I'm happy to know that the OP's hidden agenda has been revealed and am grateful to IHateHypocrites for doing so.

I miss my ES and only GC every day but this type of behaviour from an estranged d.i.l. reminds me to be thankful that despite what we have lost, we are at least spared from having to deal with our ES's wife.

I suppose I saw this as an update as much as anything 🤷‍♂️

I think those who remember the OP's other thread did too, despite the odd title and expectations of being given a hard time.

If not for IHateHypocrites we'd have been none the wiser.

I'm not really concerned about her activities on another forum to be honest.

If you've not been estranged NotSpaghetti I don't suppose you would be concerned about the OP's activity on another forum for estranged d's.i.l.

This has been an unpleasant experience for me because we are estranged, and never having had a desire to try and goad estranged d's.i.l. to confrontation, I have no idea why an estranged d.i.l. would want to to that to EP's and EGP's.

No I haven't Smileless2012 you are right. I am lucky in that regard - so I didn't read it as goading.

@IHateHypocrites maybe you should read the full thread on Gransnet for yourself. The woman I made reference to portrayed herself as extremely toxic and wanted her son to prioritise her over her DIL who had literally just given birth, her perspective was AWFUL and she was a prime example of those who would think the same way as my own MIL. And no, I haven't deleted anything.

Thanks @NotSpaghetti, I don't think I've been disrespectful in any way on here and anyone reading the thread on the other site will see that I commented (before IHH joined the conversation) were kind and respectful and I also commented on that page that I felt it important for MILs and DILs to have more open communication. That was before the link to that thread was posted so my original post IS a genuine post. Had I been looking for conflict, I would have answered with a completely different tone but I haven't. I have remained calm, respectful and not at all antagonising with other posters from the beginning.

Open communication requires honesty and transparency Mamasperspective and you have failed to demonstrate either.

You started this thread with an agenda, to see if you would get the responses you expected because you prejudged the EP's and EGP's here based on your experience with your own m.i.l.

The content of your posts was not I agree antagonising, but your reason for starting this thread was.

I think this could be viewed as an opportunity

Someone has had a bad experience here clearly and commented on it elsewhere, even laughed at negative comments they have received, potentially to avoid being hurt by them

I feel far more concerned about how people feel after visiting this forum and how that can be avoided in future than how that person dealt with how they were treated

I feel more concerned that people are immediately going back to the other forum, laughing and talking about getting popcorn, and how much they enjoy watching the arguments.
Particularly when they delete the thread once discovered.

An opportunity for what exactly?

As far as I can remember, the OP's experience here was no different to what many have experienced.

Posting else where "I love Gransnet it brings me joy
I love putting them in their place"
"I went in hard and she refused to engage" and "hold onto your boots ladies, I'm going in" aren't for me examples of laughing at negative comments, they're derogatory comments about estranged m's.i.l., EP's and EGP's.

If this had been intended to open up a dialogue between those who estrange and those who have been estranged it has failed, and may well make it harder for new posters whose true agenda might be questioned in the future.

Indeed MissA deleting that thread shows that the OP hadn't intended her true purpose to be known.

There are those on this forum who have estranged and have been estranged struggling to come to terms with their loss, and for anyone to regard this as a source of amusement, to be enjoyed while they munch on popcorn is distasteful to say the least.

I went in hard and she refused to engage.
Says it all, really.

From people who claim to have moved on and have healthy relationships, is the laughable part.

I find it totally bizarre that people are so bored that they visit a support forum (whatever the subject of support), just to try and upset/wind people up.🤔

Odd behaviour from adults.

It used to happen on disability support sites, where trolls would come on, with fanciful stories about their “disability” just for some sort of kicks.😑

I realised, quickly, that yesterdays story wasn’t really feasible - 6 month old babies don’t eat small bars of chocolate or sit up playing…🙄

Funny way of healing going on - these people seem bitter and angry. So, not healed much really.

eazybee

If your mother- in -law refused to see you with your husband and children you, as a family, are quite right to suspend contact.
Nothing else to say.
But that is never the case, is it?

I completely agree. Whilst I do have some empathy for MIL, she’s clearly most unhappy, a deep rooted belief that everyone else is always at fault is hard to change.

I think this OP has done exactly the right thing for her, her children, her husband and her sanity and wish her the best of luck.

Oh! Seems I’ve been duped now reading further! Honestly, I sometimes just don’t know what to think or believe!

a deep rooted belief that everyone else is always at fault appears to be something that the OP and her m.i.l. have in common cossy, why else come onto a forum about estrangement where the vast majority of contributors are EP's, EGP's and estranged m's.i.l. in an attempt to illicit controversy for amusement.

From people who claim to have moved on and have healthy relationships, is the laughable part, yes it is MissA.

It's a shame that in the future because of this thread, we may not know what to think of believe Cossy.

or believe

Cossy

Oh! Seems I’ve been duped now reading further! Honestly, I sometimes just don’t know what to think or believe!

Oh, it was all a bit of a wind up. Best ignored. 🙂