Putting myself on the chopping block ...

If you don't wish to answer VS that's OK but don't accuse me of asking goading and unproductive questions when they are neither of those.

Genuinely, I came to this forum innocent and in pain. I had to fight to have anything here, any space or any support. It got to the point where all I had was defence and I was just angry on top of hurt...

But I know that, I have long ago apologised for my part in arguments and took responsibility for it. I'm usually the first person to apologise now in any genuine misunderstanding

I am the only one who ever did

I'm sorry VS but that is not how I remember your experience. I gave you my support as did others, and you didn't have to fight for it, it was genuinely and freely given.

What you have posted will make for uncomfortable and hurtful reading for anyone who was there at the time and is still a member of GN.

Smileless2012

I had my doubts about this thread and the first time the OP posted about her m.i.l. A m.i.l. who takes her GC out of their mother's arms, holds on to them for hours and refuses to give them back. A m.i.l. who on I think four separate occasions feeds her very young GC chocolate despite being told that doing so causes pain and distress.

Yes, I had my doubts but responded and not unkindly as did DL and others.

The OP may or may not be fake, may or may not be grossly exaggerated but the OP's claim that she was posting to give a d's.i.l. perspective and to open up communication between an estranged m.i.l. and estranged parents, GP's and m's.i.l. was fake.

What do you think about her intention to put the estranged on this forum in their place VS? About garnering support for her posts here on GN from another site, in case she received the "tirade of abuse" she was expecting? About one of the responders talking about eating popcorn as they read what they were hoping to see.

How would you feel VS if an EP, EGP and/or m.i.l. had attempted to do to those who have estranged what the OP had attempted to do to the estranged posters on this forum? Would you defend that too?

Only the other day I saw a post exclaiming that no one walks away from a healthy family. The estranged on this forum knows what that means every time they see that or similar. They know that when they say they did nothing wrong, they're not believed, they are being fake and worse. Why isn't that unacceptable? Why isn't that taken into account when it's a new poster.

Those who have been estranged have left GN because of the responses they've received but I've never seen one pull a stunt like this.

The OP's experience isn't the only thing that's been discussed on the other support website is it, and that is the issue here.

Here is my issue

You expect me to answer based on ideas and thoughts I don't have and don't express... You put me in an impossible position by doing that... As I have said many times I don't agree with posting things from gransnet on other forums to drum up support and have never done it myself. I don't believe all EPs are in the wrong and have never said so, I have EP friends myself.

And then because I miss the comment, instead of politely pointing that out you start posting goading comments about people not answering questions...

What am I supposed to do with that? I can't take responsibility for anyone else. How can you possibly expect me too yet not understand the reactions of ESC here or the fact that I have also had very negative experiences here that hurt me. You are not the only person here. I also am a real person with real feelings

and so is the OP... The OP who expected abuse here...

Why? Is an entire question that for the sake of any new person joining, needs and answer

As I posted earlier VS if you don't want to answer, then don't but don't make accusations of my putting you in an impossible position and accuse me of making goading comments about people not answering questions.

Posters ask questions of others all the time on GN and ask if they're going to be answered when they haven't been, you do so yourself but when it happens with you, you always resort to accusations of goading.

You are not the only person to have had very negative experiences here that have been hurtful. We are all as far as I know 'real people with real feelings' and I fail to see what point you are making here.

Smileless, I have answered what is relevant, what is not relevant you cannot expect me to answer... It's not reasonable to ask me questions about things that I don't think or do

Let's stick to facts please

I think that sticking to facts is an excellent suggestion VS.

Thank you

I suppose, Smileless2012, because she can... as you said
on an open forum like GN you cannot have threads for only one select group

Smileless I'm not sure why you not remembering something or experiencing it differently makes it invalid. You act as if your recollection is fact. But other people have their own memories and experiences that exist at the same time. If someone is speaking about their experiences you cannot logically or factually counter it with "I don't remember that" and expect that to be accepted.

Yes I realise that recollections may vary User but my recollection is fact.

There is always room for everyone's feelings

I remember saying that before things became so difficult

Room for everyone's feelings yes, but facts are facts.

I really feel it’s best not to engage with certain posters who have their own agenda, they come on to goad, nothing else. Whole pages are taken up with the nonsense.

No one can argue in a void

Yet I will always be the only one who ever looked at the situation and apologised and took responsibility for my part.

As well as the only one able to forgive and move on

Just as I think we could find it in our hearts to forgive OP, given the circumstances

What circumstances?
The ones where she joined in discussions the same as every one else and was afforded equal respect?

Because that is what I've seen since she has been here.

MissAdventure

What circumstances?
The ones where she joined in discussions the same as every one else and was afforded equal respect?

Because that is what I've seen since she has been here.

MissA you've seen her every post and comment?

I'd say I'm an avid reader of threads, so probably.
Also, if I missed anything, it was bound to be carried on, and on, and on, and on... if it was contentious.

How about you?
Have you read every post and thread?

Absolutely not

Curiosity sent me on an internet search though and screenshots from gransnet are everywhere... Some of them are of me

And the opinions of younger generations about us are sometimes positive but overall... Just not

I feel quite down about that

I've never come across any gransnet screenshots.
People must have very dull lives if they find them fascinating, I think.
I need to check out for myself, I think, because I have never actively searched, admittedly.

It doesn't interest me TBH but each to their own.

I'm sorry this is making you feel down, VioletSky. I've always thought you make great sense and come at things from a very empathetic and gentle angle.

I cannot say the same for some others on this forum.

I know this will be deleted. VioletSky do you mean when you first joined GN when you joined under your old name then got banned . But after a half hearted apology on the chat thread GN let you rejoin under your new name. That apology thread was deleted because so many of us me included got our posts deleted because we didn't believe you. As many will remember why you got banned in the first place . You weren't the only one to get banned at the same time as they joined in with you . I don't know if they rejoined under a new name but you where the only one who GN asked to apologise.

I expect this will get deleted within minutes of me posting .

Whiff

I know this will be deleted. VioletSky do you mean when you first joined GN when you joined under your old name then got banned . But after a half hearted apology on the chat thread GN let you rejoin under your new name. That apology thread was deleted because so many of us me included got our posts deleted because we didn't believe you. As many will remember why you got banned in the first place . You weren't the only one to get banned at the same time as they joined in with you . I don't know if they rejoined under a new name but you where the only one who GN asked to apologise.

I expect this will get deleted within minutes of me posting .

The opening post did what it was designed to do - cause arguments, with other site posters cheering from the sidelines.🙄

Fine, it succeeded in that, and if it’s made people happy in some way, then ok.🤷‍♀️

But, I’m not wasting any more time arguing about a situation I’m not even sure exists.🙂