Estrangement

I can agree every case is different which is why I responding to pascals comment, and that one only, as I highlighted it.

That's good to know March because when you posted Of course it is, you've only heard one side of the story. It's easier to blame the DIL than look at their own action and what could of caused the divide. I was under the impression that you were questioning whether it's ever due to a d.i.l.

No of course I'm not, apologies as it's the way I've typed it out.

DIL, well all of them, have been the reason for estrangement, like all women are the same, across the country, within every friendship group, DILs have been the sole reason for estrangement and that's a fact is ridiculous.

I wasn't talking about my experience or yours I was commenting on that specific comment.

If it's been an EP's personal experience that their d.i.l. is the sole reason for their estrangement, who are you or anyone to say that that's ridiculous March?

Unless you personally know those concerned you're not in a position to judge.

when I look at my group of friends, lots in other parts of the country, ALL of them that have been estranged have been because of a DIL.. so I would strongly question the comment made by Luminance

It's not a personal experience is it?

I don't think my comment in anyway placed any blame anywhere at all. I simply remarked that the relationship is between parent and child and that is the relationship that needs to be worked on. I would add that no one needs to be "estranged" to have an understanding of parent child relationships or the problems that occur or indeed how to have a good relationship with a child. It's rather a given that estrangement itself is something that most would wish to avoid. Any advice on how to do so should, I feel, be gratefully received by struggling parents?

It's also not one situation, it's ALL of the DILs. How many are we talking? 2? 10?
Are they in a cult?

All these women all over the country, in different walks of life are the sole and only reason, in every relationship, has been the cause of estrangement? In multiple different relationships?
That the poster is getting third hand information from. That's not their situation?
I'd say that's ridiculous.

I simply remarked that the relationship is between parent and child and that is the relationship that needs to be worked on.

It absolutely is.

Who has said it's ALL of the DIL's March?

Unfortunately is isn't always the case that the relationship is between the parent and child when that relationship is interfered with. If for example the m.i.l. is regarded as competition and the relationship they have with their AC is envied, that can result in the relationship being destroyed.

The same can happen if the m.i.l. interferes with her AC's relationship.

The evening we went out with our ES and his then fiance to celebrate their engagement with her parents, she told me that she had 'only child syndrome and didn't share' so tell me March if she with our son's compliance wasn't responsible for our estrangement, who was?

when I look at my group of friends, lots in other parts of the country, ALL of them that have been estranged have been because of a DIL.. so I would strongly question the comment made by Luminance

Are you ok? I honestly don't care about your situation. I've never mentioned it.

I was talking about this comment here and replying to this one.

You need help OhMyF. Pity there's not a lot available.

No, I am afraid it is the relationship between the parent and child that needs to be worked on. Outside input is an external factor no one can control or mitigate so the primary relationship is where the focus should remain. Telling a child your thoughts on their spouse is a rather terrible idea and so is blaming their spouse for your failed relationship. Be a loving supportive parent who simply listens and gives asked for advice gently and hope they see the truth for themselves. Never put yourself at some sort of competition the same way a DIL should not be speaking unkindly of a mother or be in any sort of competition with her. Abuse must be reported. Other than that leave the partner out of the relationship and for goodness sake, try at least to be polite.

Who has said it's ALL of the DIL's March?

when I look at my group of friends, lots in other parts of the country, ALL of them that have been estranged have been because of a DIL.. so I would strongly question the comment made by Luminance

Here. I've always been talking and replying to this comment.

Of course I'm OK March why wouldn't I be and yes pascal is talking about the d's.i.l of her friends who have been estranged; not all d's.i.l.

I've no idea who you're responding too Luminance and without knowing, I'm afraid your post makes no sense.

ALL of them that have been estranged have been because of a DIL.

Because I've only ever been refering to this part when I speak about multiple DILs.

I'm afraid your post makes no sense.

And neither do you.

Well don't worry if you don't understand March.

Well don't worry if you don't understand March.

I absolutely don't understand anything you've posted. You've spoke gibberish.

There's no need to be rude March.

This is a fun thread. Don't ever change.

The OP is about parents who've been estranged from their son for 12 years User and others are talking about their's or their friends experiences of estrangement. Not something I'd refer too as a fun thread

How have I been rude?

Smileless2012

Who has said it's ALL of the DIL's March?

Unfortunately is isn't always the case that the relationship is between the parent and child when that relationship is interfered with. If for example the m.i.l. is regarded as competition and the relationship they have with their AC is envied, that can result in the relationship being destroyed.

The same can happen if the m.i.l. interferes with her AC's relationship.

The evening we went out with our ES and his then fiance to celebrate their engagement with her parents, she told me that she had 'only child syndrome and didn't share' so tell me March if she with our son's compliance wasn't responsible for our estrangement, who was?

No she wasn’t. I’m sorry o now you like to think otherwise but no. Your son chose his behavior. She didn’t bewitch him or brainwash him. I doubt she held a weapon to him. He CHOSE not to have. Relationship with his parents. Now that may well have been a cruel and horrible choice but it was his and his alone. His relationship with you was his to manage his to nurture or abandon. He chose the later

Luminance

No, I am afraid it is the relationship between the parent and child that needs to be worked on. Outside input is an external factor no one can control or mitigate so the primary relationship is where the focus should remain. Telling a child your thoughts on their spouse is a rather terrible idea and so is blaming their spouse for your failed relationship. Be a loving supportive parent who simply listens and gives asked for advice gently and hope they see the truth for themselves. Never put yourself at some sort of competition the same way a DIL should not be speaking unkindly of a mother or be in any sort of competition with her. Abuse must be reported. Other than that leave the partner out of the relationship and for goodness sake, try at least to be polite.

This. Your relationship was with your child not their partner. If your child chose to end that relationship that choice is on them And between you and them.

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