Long distance grandparenting gone horrible wrong

Oliviasprings, we can all see how hurt you are but please try not to see the solution as simply being in 'her court'. There is many a family around who think they have few problems but find that one child felt very much hard done by from some action that happenend at one time or another. I had always felt that I had managed the whole child/step-child/half sibling thing wel,l but as years go by one or other of the children (now well grown) referes to something as if it really upset them, yet I had no real knowledge of any upset at the time. Even the happiest relationships between long attached siblings will have a few problems....its not for nothing folks have made a whole career out of offering their 'solutions'. Do let things cool down a bit but please dont give up on your daughter. I learned a long time ago that when children are hurting they lash out at the person they love the most and sometimes we just have to take it. My own daughter was rather troubled in her late teens and we had a bit of a separation when I was basically persona non grata. However, one day she just phoned me up and said those magic words....'Mum can I come and have a chat?'. Needless to say I put all the hurt behind me and welcomed her back into my life.
Give it time, and all the best.

Greatnan (((hugs)))

Not sure to what you are referring to as "that" now charlotta
It is difficult when there are lot of posts to know what someone is responding to if they are not specific.
It is obviously not the post immediately prior to yours - and indeed difficult to make any move if the estranged person has relocated themselves to an unknown location in a foreign country.
In such cases all one can do is to try to manage one's own emotions, find sources of support and come to terms with the situation.

Charlotta, I would love you to advise me on what step I can take, since I have already tried writing loving letters to my daughter and her children and she wrote back another eight rambling pages of unfounded accusations and the children ignored me. Of course, if any of them tried to contact me I would welcome them with open arms.

Thank you, soop!

Thank you HildaW I am grateful for your advice, I think that for so many years despite the long distance between us in terms of her living in Canada and me in the uk we were always close, Now I wonder how much was not being said. I will never stop loving her but I do fear that she has stopped loving me and that is what scares me the most. All I can do is pray for her every day and try to live every day the best I can.

I don't think the love of a daughter for her mother ever really dies.

I know what you mean Greatnan, its the removal to another location that makes it so difficult to forge a pathway of communication.I have written so many loving letters and always remembered birthdays and Christmas's but they have never been acknowledged over the years. I didn't even know sometimes if the parcels had arrived and that has always been the case over the past 20 years. Yet we used to talk to each other on the phone every month for over an hour sometimes. I only pray that your daughter and mine will one day realise how much we love them. Even when she took my things I did not fight with her but wrote to her and asked her why she had taken them. She did not acknowledge or answer the letter.
I am grateful that we are all talking about what is obviously a problem that many people are familiar with.

Please God JO4 that you are right. If I heard from my daughter I would welcome her back into my life in an instant

Keep strong Oliviasings, there are a lots of folks hoping the best for you.

Oliviasings I hope things will improve for you all in the very near future.....

I don't think a love of a mother for her daughter ever dies.

I will echo that, Granjura. Mother love is unconditional.

Greatnan ...how very true!