It goes on and on...

Serkeen , my daughter says ''she is fine and does not need help''

The social worker visited today and said she feels I have to prepare myself for the possibility he MAY go home as they do not know which way it is going to go...

The thought depressed me and I cannot say it doesn't

I told her I just want him to be happy wherever he is and that is the truth - I would cry and miss him GREATLY BUT it's the horrible cloud of WORRY on top of that which would make it unbearable!

Sometimes I feel like giving up because the courts are all for reunification with the birth parent and because of the way my daughter is fighting this battle with lies and a cover up and yet seemingly winning

I hope they listen to the guardian who may be the only hope little man and I have got!!

Why 'risk' it with a child with Autism who cannot even SAY if something bad happens to him?

The hair strand test results are not back yet and apparently the longer it takes means they have to look into it in more detail if they find something , so the quicker the better for the person being tested as if clear the results come back sooner , but we'll see

The social worker said my daughter has been bringing up stuff about my past to her and I knew she would do that ( playing dirty lol )

She is denying her boyfriend LIVES with her when he 100% does so all these ruddy LIES are concerning ie he was not smoking skunk on the day on my Grandsons party when he clearly was and now he is not living with her when he clearly is and has nowhere else to live so WHAT IS SHE HIDING and why???

Why not just COME CLEAN?!!

I hope and pray that the truth comes out IN TIME TO LITERALLY SAVE LITTLE MAN

God knows what will happen to him otherwise and I will have no control over what she does / they do with him or how she AND he treats him!!

He is not her PROPERTY

I know she cannot parent him properly but if deemed fit enough by the judge who was already NOT going to do a hair strand test as he obviously believed she was fully clean that is WORRYING yet am so glad I submitted my evidence in order for him to order it be done

I have a feeling she LIED TO THE RSPCA as well as she said they are fine with her and she just promised to stop rubbing her dogs nose in her poo but THAT WAS NOT THE ISSUE

I have a strong feeling she lied about shutting the dog in the drawer and if they both denied it then I look like the vengeful Grandmother who made it up to blacken her name because I am against her!!!

Who is fighting clean here? Who has NOTHING TO HIDE? Who is lying over and over and will lie to the judges face and already has to get her son back?

It is SO concerning but no one seems to be listening apart from the guardian who is visiting us on Monday

I hope my daughter does not pull the wool over her eyes as she has to visit her too and she 'presents' herself SO well , well enough to fool a judge , the RSPCA and most of the family who will see it as a 'happy ending' if he is returned!

The social worker says she feels I should get some support not because the court process is stressful but to prepare for the fact that he might go home

I even feel I may have to do that and have been grieving a bit already due to that 'fact' but every fibre of my being does not want to ( and for ruddy GOOD REASON! )

Anyway it is not over till the fat lady sings and I am NOT GIVING UP!!!!!!!!!

Both of the social workers have said I need to get on with my daughter in case she gets him back

Oh and get counselling to prepare for it

I have a very strong feeling she lied to the RSPCA if I go on what she said , so it is my word against hers , as with everything else to be honest but I still hope the truth comes out in time for little man and I hope to God her dog is not still being abused!

I can't cope with the 'get counselling to prepare yourself for if he goes home'' right now!!

Knowing my daughter I knew she would try and get him back this way but yet I was still hoping it would be by getting a genuine recovery

It is not hoping she fails it is hoping the charade cannot be kept up indefinitely

nannynoo you have always had your grandsons best interests at heart. Stay strong, he needs you. I pray you will be able to keep him safe. ?

Thank you so much , all I can do now is watch and wait and keep things as normal as possible for my Grandson

It is worrying that things are trundling ahead now when my daughter has only been clean of alcohol ( IF what she is saying is true ) for just 3 months now so that is WAY too early to be talking about reunification imo , yet because it is going to court it seems it is a possibility now even with only 3 months of 'sobriety' and no real and lasting change

So this 'space' between now and the final hearing I am just going to carry on doing what I am doing and 'wait and see' if the truth comes out naturally as I hope it does and it usually does sooner or later - I just have to hope that it all comes out sooner RATHER than later ie too late for little man , so am going to 'watch and wait' and apparently it is usually when the heat is off that things / the real truth comes out as she is not fighting to keep a lid on it and be on her best behaviours etc and feels she has 'won' and is in control

Have been told that is when the truth comes out , maybe she thinks nothing is going to stop her so she can do what she wants without it ever being detected

Tbh I don't think it will take any or much effort on my part for the truth to come out , that will happen naturally one day , so I can just concentrate on little man and myself xx

It is a stressful time and I will still be getting myself some support though just to help me through it all as it could possibly be set to become much tougher when the truth is actually revealed! x

This isn't me 'hoping she fails' it's hoping the truth comes out so that there is no risk at all of little man coming to any harm

nannynoo really glad you have reported DD to the RSPCA , it was the right thing to do regardless of the fallout . DD is obviously incapable of looking after a child if this is the way she treats an animal , I do hope you are successful in keeping your GS safe and away from her , it is heartbreaking to think he could be returned into an abusive environment xx

Good luck with the guardian on monday, hope it goes well. Maybe write things down as a reminder of what you want to say, you wont forget anything important. S/he will look to see how you and your grandson interact and should,depending on his age, talk to him too. It shouldn't be stressfull, they are professionals so hope it isnt as bad as you might think.
Remember this person is representing his best interests and the assessment will be based on his wellbeing. Most i portant, remain calm. Good luck.

Totally understand why you want the truth to come out, nannynoo. It's for gs' benefit, nothing else.

But, imo, the social workers are right about your needing to "get on with your daughter," right now. If she does get him back and you want to keep up a relationship with him, you will have to have a pleasant relationship with her, too. If you don't, she could easily cut you out of his life. Don't count on her to care about the close connection you have with him or how he might feel about it.

Tell the sws what you feel you must, but let them handle any problems. Please don't tell her what she should/shouldn't do or get in any arguments with her now or if gs goes to live with her.

Writing things down for the guardian is a very good idea, to help you remember what you want to say or just to give her to read so that you don't have to talk about upsetting things if your GS is there.

I hope that things go well for your GS.

Thinking of you today, hope it goes well for all concerned.

It was changed to this coming Thursday the appointment with the guardian

Am just going to be my natural self no pretence , no stress , just me

She is going to spend over an hour with just me before my GS gets home so yes I will have everything prepared I want to say to her

It's not about taking sides or not supporting reunification if he would be HAPPY at home , would miss him greatly but then could RELAX and get on with my life! lol

I just have to do what I am doing ie speak the truth only because my daughter is lying

If she came clean we would get on so much better and be able to all work together for little man's sake and I would be fine with that even though I would grieve the loss at first which is only natural after waking up to that little face and smile and kisses every day for over 2 years , of course it will leave a 'gap' in my home and heart BUT if he was happy then it would be 'okay' not UNBEARABLE like it would be if he was returned to an unsafe environment with him at risk of harm!

So I HAVE to do what I am doing because my daughter is using deceit and lies to get him back rather than an honest genuine recovery which is rather sad considering she has this chance which she is lucky to have and yet will not 'come clean' and be honest about eg the help she needs etc

Anyway the sw rang today and said the legal dept said they are going to pay for my solicitor and to get her on board and they want me to be there at court on Tuesday ( my daughter does not want me at court but I will go because I have been asked / told to )

It is hard not to be at some sort of loggerheads with my daughter as this very situation of wanting to protect my grandson and having genuine concerns naturally puts me at loggerheads with her , the court situation I go in the room with the LA legal team and she goes in another room with her solicitor and the court battle is one against the other and I cannot help that be so

Like I said if she was not lying to everyone including the judge and was being honest then I need not be in this situation which I HATE AND FIND VERY STRESSFUL but am civil to her when I see her and vice versa tbh , then the battle rages behind the scenes lol

Btw she is lying to social services about the pet abuse as well and will probably lie to the judge about it as well and I have a feeling she lied to the RSPCA inspector as she said ( I have rang them twice so far for an update from the officer who attended but he has not got back to me so far even though they said the reportee always gets an update afterwards )

P.S Starbird I want a good relationship with my daughter and I never confront her about things as it would do no good and I understand she covers things up due to fear but it is not actually doing her or her case any good but lying and covering things up is the method she is using and she will stick to it I reckon and there is nothing I can actually do about that just can't help wishing she came clean for her sake as well as her sons ( and the closeness of our relationship tbh )

It is hard to feel close to someone who is lying about everything and making you out to be the liar etc and trust is a vital part of a relationship and if you trust someone to tell you the truth you can get on better but we have to do our best to get on for little man's sake but it is sadly not a 'real' closeness as that takes people being real and I really wish she was / could be with me and everyone else involved but she is not honest with anyone so no one can support her which must be very difficult and lonely in itself! x

Yet because of her lies it has made my path a difficult / stressful one too xx

If she gets him back by being honest ( and getting help etc ) I would not mind but if she gets him back by lying that is VERY worrying indeed!!!

And that is MY FEAR

My daughter fears the truth coming out and I fear the truth NOT coming out...

So I am in a very uncomfortable position too

Thing is if she was honest and got some help and support then little man could go home and be HAPPY and am not ruling that out completely but she would have to stop with the lies and cover up tbh

Sadly I have a feeling she won't

Its good to see that the local authority are to pay your legal expenses, this is what should happen.
You are now a party to the proceedings and like your daughter, the social work team and the children's guardian you now have your own legal advisor. You will now get copies of all the documents in the proceedings, you'll make your own statement in response to the various assessments, including the one for your SGO assessment. So relieved, its been a long haul for you and your grandson

Gawsh does that mean I finally have people fighting in my corner with me for what is best for little man?

I can still hardly believe it if so , has felt like I am all alone and isolated in this case , the back up and team work should work for good

I hope everyone is finally on board!!

It will actually ease some of the burden if we work together as a team!

I was feeling like I had no power or say before but perhaps that is not the case , feels like they want me on board now

It is so good to have some back up and for them to be taking me and my concerns seriously!!

I thought they had pretty much given up after the care order was not granted but obviously not

nannynoo your post gave me goosbumps.. I sooooo hope you do have people in your corner fighting for your little man x x If anyone deserves someone in their corner it is you sweetheart. I do not know what that little boys life would be like without you init. I think when he grows older and realises what his grandma was prepared to do for him he will feel so happy and something that he will take with him through his life ..

Keep fighting for this is a fight that is worth fighting for xx

Ah thank you Serkeen I am doing everything in my power and more to protect him

The guardian visit went soooooooooooo well!

She said try not to worry and she could see lo was so happy here it was just blatantly obvious

They do worry about the emotional impact if the child is returned against their wishes , so you show 'em little man! Lol

Court again today , strained and stressful as usual and not sure what is going on exactly as no one really tells me , just waiting around for an hour or two then just 15 minutes in the courtroom ( am not allowed in as my daughter said so )

All the SW said is ''it went well'' but not sure how well things can go in just 15 minutes lol but I have submitted everything I know and a pic of my daughter drinking wine when she swears she is totally abstinent , plus news links to her boyfriends history of gang related drug dealing he went to prison for ( twice )

My daughter told me her hair strand test came back positive for MDMA ( ecstasy ) but that she did not take it and someone must have spiked her drink ( soft drink I presume lol ) but they are also doing a psychiatric evaluation ( thankfully ) and I asked for one after the dog abuse

The RSPCA pretty much said she lied to them about it but they have to check the dog over and give her a talk and a warning so I hope it stops!!! She lied to the SW about it so it does not surprise me!

Also her and her boyfriend have to have a parenting assessment and he has not got a clue , let alone about how to deal with a 10 year old boy with Autism ( I don't think he has children but if he has he does not seem to see them )

So that all should be starting soon and they are finally letting me off from supervising contact soon as they do agree it is getting too much of a strain for me as the case ( and hostility from my daughter ) proceeds , so that is good news so I can just concentrate on myself and little man now and my guardianship assessment

I have found a lovely new house to move into in the next couple of months as well and the court guardian and SW's have backed me on going for it due to it being near little man's school etc , let alone being 5 minutes from some lovely woodland walks and nature etc!!

I don't know how my daughter is dealing with the stress of this case but she is taking it out on me now and I got some horrible texts after court as she does not want me to move into the lovely house as it has a spare room for an overnight carer for my Grandson so I can get some respite , she seemed miffed that I was getting 3 bedrooms when she had 2 but she cheered up immensely when she realised the same rule would apply to her ''if she gets her son back'' so she left the text conversation happy! Lol

I feel the new home will be therapeutic for little man and me and if worst comes to worst ( sorry to put it that way but it is TRUE ) I can keep a room there for him always plus will do fostering , after this experience it is something which I feel I would be good at and do well

So I do have a plan B but I still do not feel that my daughter ( or her boyfriend ) would cope or that little man would be happy there - I honestly feel he would definitely not be happy there

So all I can do is keep doing my darndest for that not to happen but next is me concentrating on my guardianship application and I have an appointment with my solicitor on Friday

MY DAUGHTER IS NOW SAYING SHE NO LONGER WANTS MY GRANDSON IN MY CARE

Things are not good atm she keeps messaging me with all sorts of stuff about my past , saying it's my fault she ended up an alcoholic , had to block her on messenger ( wish I found out how to do it earlier )

I do not want to bring little man into that environment plus as she has PR she could keep him there after contact so I have left a message with the SW manager to ring me urgently but she has not done so yet but I could do without this stress

I feel I need to ( gently ) suggest I do not supervise any more contact alone and that they need to find someone else to do it ASAP as this is a ridiculously hostile and stressful situation

Plus it possibly puts my Grandson at risk!