I would love to hear opinions from grandparents on a dilemma I am facing.
I pay my MIL to mind only GC for a date night , usually between 2-4 hours for €20. An overnight sleepover at our house would be between €20-€50 depending on the scenario.
There is always food for MIl , favorite treats etc and we pay for petrol for the 5 mile commute to our house.
In the past we used babysitters for the same price but MIL and GC adore each other and MIL lives to see her GC so my DH agreed that we pay MIL instead of a baby sitter.
FIL believes all baby sitting should be paid for. Although in the past we have always treated them to nights away, meals out etc as a thank you for any help he wants MIl to go home with X amount for X hours.
Husband and I have had some challenges and have agreed that we need to go on dates more often maybe once a week/ fortnight . We are now expecting baby no2 and we know that we will need support but looking at the cost of full time childcare for first child plus any extra help as “baby sitting hours” from MIL is working out very costly. We are exploring au pairs and childminder as a longer term solution.
I am afraid that if we go ahead with either of these that date night will be covered by this use of childcare (using a combination of Creche and au pair for example) I don’t want to offend MiL but between the cost and being afraid that our children will eventually know that all “grandparent time” was paid for & may damage the longer term relationship between GC and grandparents several friends are advising me to nip this is the bid and go via alternative childcare.
Just to add GC attends Creche full time during the week this costs €850 it’s simply not feasible to add another child into that cost which is why we are looking into alternatives for the full time arrangement.
Grandparents are retired , in good health and young but No social hobbies or commitments .
How do I approach this with MIL without offending her or possibly cutting off the one social event / evening she gets to spend just with her GC? (We also do visit often and the door is always open for her to visit GC whenever she wants to)
Would appreciate any insight from the grandparents perspective my MiL is a lovely person I would hate to hurt her.
Mammy Sun 04-Nov-18 23:47:28
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