my DD has always lived very near her husbands family( about a 30 min drive) whilst we are over 3 hours by car from them. they wfh so made a choice to live this close.
They see his mum and dad at least once a week, usually more, and his extended family get together very frequently as they all live very closely spaced. They see our GC on lots of family occasions, lunches, teas, outings etc.
His parents do a day child care each week for our two year old GC.
We do a day child care every fortnight taking it in turns to make the journey( one fortnight we go there and stay over, do a day and return home) and the next fortnight they do it.
We have always thought this was very good of them and been grateful for so much contact. We love our GC and have a lot of fun when we are together.
I have always felt sad that they did not choose to live a little nearer us so that they were a daytrip away but have never said this.
I also have never expected to see our GC more than the Paternal GP's do but it is getting obvious that these childcare days that we do are becoming a bit too much effort for them.
It doesnt surprise me, we have been so lucky this far, but i do suffer terrible jealousy when i hear of all the family events they have and just lately , they cut their visit to us so short as they had to get home to go to a family lunch for his dads birthday( not a special big birthday or anything). this followed a couple of weeks when we couldnt fulfil our visit to them due to ill health so i was left feeling a bit hurt and angry.
His folks knew they were cutting "our time" short but insisted on arranging the gathering at lunch so they all had to leave at the crack of dawn. It would have helped if it could have been a teatime slot.
They had only had a special family party two weeks before this so I felt they could have done without my DD, SIL and GC for once. My SIL never seems to be able to refuse any family request btw.
my question is , after all this rambling, am I unreasonable in feeling hurt and discarded in favour of the other family who can get together almost any time they choose?
I would be grateful for some perspective on this , perhaps some advice on how this sort of situation has been handled by others too would be so helpful.
I feel a bit worthless at the moment but i know I cant see the wood for the trees on this one.
blueshell2 Thu 27-Jul-23 14:44:10
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