Tips for handling stranger anxiety even with grandparents and relatives

Catwoman has been my user name for years. You now say it is nt mine? It was accepted at the time of registrating. My name address has never changed.

At 4 months with my first one (42 yrs ago!!) I was very happy to put in pram & let my next door neighbour (close friend) take him out for a good walk. He soon fell asleep as most babies do with the motion.
So when I visited my first grandchild … I was off for the walk with the ‘pram’ & she soon fell asleep and an hour later returned with a sleeping baby to a mum much refreshed after a shower and peaceful cup of tea!
I babysat from 3 months lots of carrying round the house to get to sleep… but only what I had done with mine…
I guess try the tricks we did with our own back in the day???

Three of my own, my Mum knew how to handle all of her 10 ,Grandchildren, we had no qualms if they cried, she was amazing. I have 6 Grandchildren, all of my family happy to leave crying babies to me. I suppose as time goes on people change.

I babysat for a little girl who was OK the first time, second time she cried but settled eventually, third time she was inconsolable. Luckily, Nanna changed her work shifts and was able to babysit then. The little girl just wasn't used to "strangers". We still see each other regularly.

At 4 months I wouldn't have let anyone take my baby. To grow up feeling secure and confident small children need to be protected from the stress and anxiety of being parted from primary caregivers until they are developmentally ready. While this isn't always possible for many reasons if the parents can provide this security then they are doing the right thing. We now know that high levels of cortisol are not good for babies. A 4 month old hasn't got the ability to know

Oops... To know or recognise you however much you love them.

grannybuy

Fifty or so years ago, when mine were born, they were probably seen and held by more people than might happen nowadays, so possibly didn’t have quite such a maternal bond.

I think there's something in this Grannybuy. We were a large extended family and new babies were handed round for everyone to hold & "goo-goo" at - even if, like me as a teenager, they were unwilling recipients.

Jess20, my DD and DDiL were the same and I wouldn’t have expected it. I had my youngest GS over night for the first time when his Mum was in labour with their second and had a birthing pool in the house - think the poor woman’s yells drove him into my arms. He was almost 3 but still couldn’t wait to go home later in the day. We have a great relationship with all 4 now, ages 16, 14, 13 and 10 and very excited that our youngest DC is going to be. Dad for the first time in April, so lovely to have a baby in the family again after almost 11 years . The older grandchildren are also very excited.

Many grandparents think that 'giving the new mother a break' involves holding her baby. Instead, why don't you try maybe doing some of her housework, laundry or cooking some meals to ease the load on her? Babies only initially bond with parents over the first few months (I doubt if a stranger came over and tried to grab you in the street to hold you that you would be too happy about it) and babies don't actually realise they are a separate being from their mothers until about 9 months of age. There are many, many ways you can help your daughter. The bond with your grandchild will likely come much later when they are walking and talking.