Invisible Step-Granny

I’d just ignore her and be very polite if I had to speak to her.
She sounds desperately insecure and overbearing as a result.
There’s always someone who has to be queen bee, I suppose.

ROSENSANDLILAC-I would surmise that she is more like Busy Bee. She can't read a room and she often looks foolish with her interruptions.

Just for the fun of it....one more story

Last year, at a birthday party that was held at a go cart place. My SD was quietly paying for the party. I walked up to her and offered to pay for half. She graciously accepted. The party was in full swing with lots of kids and plenty of adults. SD and I were paying with no issue. Out of the blue, I hear a very urgent harp over my shoulder directed at my SD in a sing-song cadence, "Is Everything OKAAAAAY?"

My SD looked at her with shock and said very curtly, "Yes, "blank" is just paying half."

Mention money and Judee runs the other way. This just shows you that she is homed in on me and what I am doing. There shouldn't have been any reason for her to even know what we were doing at that busy place. I can't make a move that she isn't right behind. It is just weird.

Just a quick update:

Judee saw us walking up to the grandson's ballgame. We saw her sitting in her lawn chair as she had been there for a while already. We took a detour to the restroom, which she didn't navigate into her intrusion plan, when we came out, she was already standing by the granddaughter but not interacting with her in anyway. Husband and I acknowledged Judee with a nod and proceeded to say hello to granddaughter.

As I bent down to say "hello." to parody the immortal words of Julie Andrews, " the hill come alive with the sound of Judee" Either Judee hadn't said hello yet, or she was blind because the little one had a plaster on her knee and a skinned shin. Judee breaks into the oh so interested and concerned investigator. She was pondering outload to no one. "OH, she has injured herself. Does it hurt? What happened? Is there anything I can do? Oh, daring are you okay?" The poor child was trying to say hello to us and listen to her grandmother at the same time. This child is 4 BTW.

I couldn't help myself.......I looked up and said, "Just give me a minute to say hello, and then she is all yours." Judee looked as if someone had woken her up from a sleepwalking event. She stopped harping and I quickly said to the child, "Come see me during the game and we can get a snack together" I walked off and just smiled at Judee.

That was in July, she hasn't come up to me again or tried to speak over me. The DIL was there and heard it. She didn't say a word or seem to think much of it.

I think it was risky, but enough was enough.

This is very funny: We were at a dance recital and Judee and her husband were sitting on the same isle 9 seats away. Judee had the 7-year-old grandson sit on her lap for two hours so she wouldn't have to share him with us or the SIL parents. More power to her. She most likely needed physical therapy after that sit-in.

My grandkids have a step-grandma and she is just part of the family and my grandkids love her, and so do I because you can never have too many people love your kids.

Anyway, it all worked out and she has left me alone for now.

DiamondLily

She’s not really an interloper - she’s the child’s “birth” granny.

There will often be underlying tensions in this sort of thing. Blended families are fine, but they are not always straightforward.

I would rise above it. If you create an issue, you don’t know what way your step-daughter would jump.😗

Agreed annoyi mg as it sounds saying anything or creating a scene is likely as. Not to backfire. At the end of the day Judee ia stepdaughters mum so you’re unlikely to come out ahead.

Sounds good in your update OP

Update:
5 year old granddaughter is sitting at my kitchen table while I make her a snack. We are having a nice chat when out of the blue she says, "My Grandma says that you aren't my Granny and that I am supposed to call you "my name."

I was a bit stunned, but not surprised. I just explained to her that, "my name is ....., all the kids call me Granny because grannies are people who love you and treat you special. Do you feel special when you are here?" "Yes" she says. Well then you can call me Granny, but you can also call me ...... if you like, either way I think you are special too"

Judee hit her low for sure. What a hag!

I am a true believer that you can't have too many people love your kids. Obviously, she doesn't feel this way.

I think this is a very strange story.