No visitors at the hospital

Get a grip You are completely over reacting and if you carry on like thisthen expect to be banned from visiting when they get home too!

They will be home within 24hrs, my DD had a baby 10 months ago, I didn't expect to go in.
She Wotsapp me and was home in less than 24hrs.
You will soon have the little one in your arms don't worry.

All my grandchildren were either born abroad or I was working abroad. I didn't see any of them till they were 3 weeks old, I have 7 of them and one was a year old before I saw her. But I never felt cheated, so I can't actually relate to this post. However the advice given to take a step back at this point seems good advice to me, pushing the point would probably only set up resentments and that wouldn't help as they get older.

So agree with Merlotgran. For goodness sake....you are not taking away any "bonding" by seeing your grandchild early on! Honestly....these modern day luvvies think they know everything. It will make absolutely no difference to the baby if you "pop in" for a few minutes. And of course, it will make you as grandparent very happy. If the parents can't agree to this then I feel very sorry for you.

Their baby, their choice, can't understand the upset over not being able to see the baby straight away. They are going through a very special, huge moment in their lives and want to be alone to bond with their new baby and to take pleasure in these precious moments.
They might also appreciate not being bombarded with visits as soon as they get home. Let them know you want to see the baby whenever suits them.

you are not taking away any "bonding" by seeing your grandchild early on! I agree tootsiehughie but that's how things seem to be now, so the only thing you can do is go along with it.

Please don’t spoil their first days as parents by making this about you. It isn’t, and your role as a grandparent is to support, support, support parents in their decisions.
You will have to do a lot of tongue-biting over the next few years, (I know from experience!) so start practising!

I gave birth to DD in 1996 is Sweden and they had a very strict no visitors rule for the 48-72 hours spent in hospital. I was very glad of it as my birth had been terrible and it was great to have a few quiet days with DH for both of us to recover. DD could have gone home after 4 days but I was kept for 7 (and the midwives tried to convince me to stay for 10) because of it.

I think it very wise for them to restrict visitors in the early days - generally hospital stays are very short between 6 and 24 hours so I don't think it unreasonable to give the new mum a few hours rest and avoid the spread of illnesses from relatives passing around the new baby.

My mum didn't get to Sweden until 5 weeks later and she had a lovely relationship with her GD. MIL didn't meet DD for 12 weeks as neither of us could make the trip before then.

I can’t help but wonder if we will see a thread over on Mumsnet in the next week or two asking for help on how to cope with a pushy MIL who is ignoring the parents’ wishes about not visiting for a few days after their baby’s birth…
And is also creating a huge drama about it.
There will be people who advise severely limiting contact going forwards for selfish grandparents who prioritise their own needs. Just saying.

American?

Oh dear Siobhan Sharpe! 5 minutes to say hello to precious grandchild is classed as "pushy"?? If anyone is selfish here....it's the parents! Who no doubt will be calling on gran and granddad to babysit/childsit for the next umpteen years!!! Just saying!!

My mum taught me how to breastfeed. Midwives were hopeless( 1980’s) .Wanting “ time to bond” over the first few days is just a silly fad set off in social media, by people who have no idea how handy it is to have a steady pair of hands ready when as new parents, you are sleepless and clueless! I’m a gran to six now, this has never happened to me yet. But don’t let it get to you, their baby, their rules. You’ll soon be able to cuddle your new grandchild.

All but one of my DGC were home within 24 hours of birth (one was a planned C Section). The one we visited in hospital was because DD was being kept in. We gave the new parents a couple of days before dropping in for a short time.

OP, look forward to many years of grandparenthood, but give the parents space.

You can't just 'pop in' to a maternity ward, there's a window for visitors which is usually a few hours but as long as it's straight forward birth, they want you up and out.

I had my last baby at 9am and I was being sent home by 12.

Total over reaction ! Your time will come !

Not having relatives near me when my children were born I can't understand this "must see gc immediately after birth" mentality. There are loads of way to communicate nowadays and if the parents want some time to themselves with no intrusion from others, allow them to have it. Sure you will be invited before long.

They don't like us being 'entitled' these days, or to have feelings I'm afraid x

All of my family, myself included couldn’t wait to show off baby, it’s the most rewarding time. Once the euphoria has worn off then you are pleased to see loved ones again but to give you chance to recuperate, have a blissful couple of hours sleep or a nice bath knowing baby is in a safe and loving pair of arms. Your turn will be most welcome, embrace when it does Gransnetter.

I think the lesson that must be learnt is that, if everyone is excluded from visiting for a short time, those wishes should be respected. If others have been included but yourself excluded then, there is a reason. In some way having you there would be more stressful. I'd strongly advise finding out why that is the case and rectifying it rather quickly.

tootsiehughie

So agree with Merlotgran. For goodness sake....you are not taking away any "bonding" by seeing your grandchild early on! Honestly....these modern day luvvies think they know everything. It will make absolutely no difference to the baby if you "pop in" for a few minutes. And of course, it will make you as grandparent very happy. If the parents can't agree to this then I feel very sorry for you.

You are literally taking bonding time away if you are insisting on them carving out time for a hospital visit for a short stay after a woman has given birth. If they say so, no one else can say otherwise. You cannot speak for these parents.

There is nothing being taken away from a grandparent who doesn’t visit in the hospital. Not one single thing. If we’re old enough to be grandparents we are old enough to recognize that not everything is about us and how we feel. A mother who just gave birth takes precedent over a grandmother. The grandmothers who fail to recognize this no doubt become unnecessarily problematic. Our role is to support, not create drama over nothing. This is nothing to be dramatic over.

Be grateful its just at the hospital. Some new parents are not allowing any visitors even at home for anything from two weeks to 2 months.

I think if people are the bulldozer type who just says "take me as I am or not at all" they should never be surprised if someone chooses "not at all" and should be wholly grateful if it is just "not now" or "not as often".

Redgran18

My mum taught me how to breastfeed. Midwives were hopeless( 1980’s) .Wanting “ time to bond” over the first few days is just a silly fad set off in social media, by people who have no idea how handy it is to have a steady pair of hands ready when as new parents, you are sleepless and clueless! I’m a gran to six now, this has never happened to me yet. But don’t let it get to you, their baby, their rules. You’ll soon be able to cuddle your new grandchild.

Plenty of folks figure out how to be experts on their own children without grandparents with savior complexes taking over. New parents rightfully expect fathers to pitch in. I’m pretty sure no one ever died because mum and dad rather than mum and gran/midwives chose to acclimate to their baby the first few days alone. All this silly “in the old days” talk is just that. Things change. What’s the point in getting upset that new mums do things their own way?

My poor Mum and Dad didn’t see their first born grandchild until she was 2 snd a half as I gave birth overseas
Then history repeated itself and I didn’t see my first born grandchild until she was 2 +++ as she was born in NZ
All 7 of my grandchildren were born overseas 2 returned to my town and I had a lot of time with them 3 moved to Ireland and I saw plenty of them but the two in NZ I didn’t see too much of ever
It’s life
Take it as it comes be happy with what you are handed

I think it’s such a shame that new parents don’t want visitors these days,
I couldn’t wait for family and friends to meet my babies. It’s all very self centred (IMO).

Having said all that, I’m sure it won’t be long before you see the little one so just abide by their wishes and wait to be invited.