Grandparenting and childcare

The article is about grandparents and childcare, but most grandparents involved in childcare are retired (meaning over 66). So they start with someone who is retired and 59! Why?

Yes.My thoughts too Chardy - and only 50 when her grandchild was born.

My husband's cousin had her family in her 30s and then (much later) twins at 53!
No idea how old her parents were by then!

Some people are obviously still fertile into early 50s.
I was.

Today I have my 2 youngest GD's, 12 & 10. It is pouring down so we have watched a Harry Potter film, played 2 board games and have tried, without success, to learn the basics of crochet. Just to add to this, another daughter has left her 2 boisterous cocker spaniels here as well who come in from the garden sopping wet and don't much like being dried. All accompanied by the plasterer working in a bedroom with his radio at full blast. All part of life's rich tapestry. I'm 77 and won't be too upset when parents and dog owners arrive around tea time.

Sarnia, you have earned that G&T tonight.

Chocolatelovinggran

Sarnia, you have earned that G&T tonight.

When I worked in early years I often met grandparents who were providing childcare. Some of them were definitely not up to coping with young children, and certainly didn’t seem to be doing much with them, other than trying to keep them safe.
Mind you, what I noticed in a lot of cases was these grandparents were often telling us how well their child was doing, with regards to houses, cars, holidays etc.

I'm 'only' 60, and feel terrible that I'm not more help to my dd, dil, and niece with their small children. It's partly because swinging large toddlers around or racing after them is so tiring, but also because youngest son (20) has needed 24 hour care for the last 15 years and is now under palliative care and I spend 46 to 96 hours a week caring for him. Understanding it somehow doesn't make me feel less guilty. And when I lose him I honestly don't know how much I will be able to step up for them.

Lala they are managing OK without you.
Please do look after yourself.
What emotional turmoil you must be in already.

Lala494 My deepest sympathy, caring for a child in palliative care, knowing what the outcome will be, is every parent's nightmare, and you are living it

You know you can do nothing for other family while in the situation you are in Is worrying about something you can do nothing about a distraction from all the things you worry about with every reason - like looking after your disabled son?

When the inevitable happens, make sure you allow yourself recovery time, probably a year, before you start taking on other family responsibilities. I am sure your wider family will not want you to be rushing to help them after your loss.

You will need time to recover physically, mentally. You will need to sleep for months, your mind will be like treacle.

In different circumstances my parents lost a daughter and I a sister, and I can remember how we all struggled - and we did not have the months and years of caring preceding the death, as you will have.

Norah

I wonder why parents (AC) don't cut coats according to cloth?

So people with low income careers should not have children?

I was still working long hours for DGS no 1, so just the odd emergency. For no 2 I said I would do just one day of their choice. He is now 12 and my role is Taxi and chef - he is no trouble. I do not think I would manage a full toddler day now I am older.

His other gran had him for Sunday night sleepover because she was not an early riser and did 2 days. She has never worked, and is much younger than me, but she did struggle. But she is not the most reliable either, so I have picked up some of the slack, but poor DIL has been left hunting around for help on occasions when they have found a last minute break or event. If you do it, you have to commit to what you agreed.

You can get NI credits for doing so.

65 still working in childcare knackered!