Deep rift with my DD over grandchildren s behaviour

theworriedwell

Granatlast007 what a vile way to describe a five year old child.

Agree. It’s shocking how many women are willing to tear an unknown 5 year old female child apart.

Hard to understand isn't it. Five year olds are so little, babies really. I wonder how the OP feels about her GC being torn apart? Is she happy about it? I can't imagine hearing someone saying that about one of my GC and the eldest is 21. I'd be so disgusted.

Thank you Giuletta
Yes they are much better behaved at my house
I don’t know why but yes I have decided that I will not babysit at their house again

theworriedwell

Granatlast007 what a vile way to describe a five year old child.

How very judgmental you are *worried well ' flinging unjustified accusations and comments about that are on a par with your judgement that calling a child a spoilt brat is so very ghastly.
Gosh, such a saint, and what do you dream of my darling when you're alone in your bed.....

So wondering if the OP would feel about her GC being called names is judgemental? She might have come back and said it upset her, you don't know how feels anymore than I do. I definitely feel calling a five year old a brat is horrible, she's a young child.

Considering I've been married for over 40 years I don't sleep alone in my bed very often but say I was a widow would sarky comments about me sleeping alone be appropriate?

I am surprised people are still going on about this. The child is five, she was was called horrible. My guess is she has forgot about it and moved on. It's the adults who are upset.
Honestly what was said did not bother me one bit.
When my Grandson was in year 6, Mothers used to text to tell other Mothers about how hurt their child was because of a bit of name calling. The children really need to get a bit of resilience. The Mother of the OP really needs to wise up and look at the situation as a whole.

theworriedwell

So wondering if the OP would feel about her GC being called names is judgemental? She might have come back and said it upset her, you don't know how feels anymore than I do. I definitely feel calling a five year old a brat is horrible, she's a young child.

Considering I've been married for over 40 years I don't sleep alone in my bed very often but say I was a widow would sarky comments about me sleeping alone be appropriate?

That was a bizarre comment, wasn’t it?

A very bizarre comment, Basgetti.

Very bizarre. I still can't figure out what sleeping alone has to do with not calling young children brats.

Just read on another thread that the OP was a teacher.

I am astonished.

Sago

Just read on another thread that the OP was a teacher.

I am astonished.

Why, one of my previous neibours is a teacher, she had a good reputation, but as a parent some if the things she said and did, astounded me.
I won't go into details but the son is one very mixed up adult.

The OP has taken a lot of flack here. It must be wonderful to have children/grandchildren who always do as they're told, play nicely with their siblings, eat all their greens and go to bed willingly and calmly, then drift off to sleep 😴. I have two delightful granddaughters, I look after them a lot, and they certainly test me sometimes. I have two sons, and growing up I just had to glare at them to stop any bad behaviour and they were very well behaved. My granddaughters aren't quite as easy, they dismiss my glare and carry on misbehaving, sometimes I am at the end of my tether with them. Yes, parenting and grandparenting can be a challenge. OP had had enough of her granddaughter's defiance that night, it was late and OP was tired, even if the little girl wasn't. I've been there, done that (at least the other two children went to sleep ok.) In those circumstances, rather than getting myself all hot and bothered about it, I'd have let the girl cuddle up beside me on the couch with a blanket and teddy, and let her gently fall asleep in her own time, then daughter or son-in-law could carry her up to bed when they got home. I think the daughter should have apologised to her mum for having to put up with the girl's behaviour, and thanked her for babysitting. The little girl would get a cuddle from me the next day and be told "sorry I called you a horrible girl, but you must go to bed on time and not make nanny upset and angry, I really love you, can we be friends?" That way, all should be forgiven. We all learn by our mistakes, don't hold a grudge with your daughter, OP, be the bigger person, make contact and get back to being a dear nanny to these children. You have a lot on your plate with your husband being in the care home, it can't be easy trying to be all over the place giving everyone your time. Be kind to yourself, you deserve it 💐

Peter Sarstedt - Where Do You Go To (My Lovely) lyrics | Musixmatch share.google/YgKYwmZ9hy4r0ZloZ

A song about people pretending to be better than they are, so high and mighty and sure of themselves, the sort who call out 'bring back hanging' but quietly murder in words and deeds.

I think my point has been missed!

As a teacher it would be expected that OP was able to discipline her grandchildren and not to have to resort to calling the poor girl horrible.

Granatlast007

Peter Sarstedt - Where Do You Go To (My Lovely) lyrics | Musixmatch share.google/YgKYwmZ9hy4r0ZloZ

A song about people pretending to be better than they are, so high and mighty and sure of themselves, the sort who call out 'bring back hanging' but quietly murder in words and deeds.

Murder with words? You mean like calling a five year old child s horrible little girl.

No, I mean being incredibly judgmental about someone else's comment, who do you think you are exactly to first of all, tear the OP apart and then to get in a lather about use of the word brat.
It's a bit of slang, sorry if you live in such a delicate, 'naice' world but you can't control other people's language or usage just because it doesn't fit your superior world view.
I feel really sorry for the OP and the aggressive responses she has had to a difficult situation.
BRAT dictionary definition
in British English
(bræt IPA Pronunciation Guide )
noun
1. a child, esp one who is ill-mannered or unruly: used contemptuously or playfully
adjective
2. informal
characterized by a confident, independent, and hedonistic attitude
Collins English Dictionary. Copyright © HarperCollins Publishers
Word origin
C16: perhaps special use of earlier brat rag, from Old English bratt cloak, of Celtic origin; related to Old Irish bratt cloth, brat2

Granatlast007

No, I mean being incredibly judgmental about someone else's comment, who do you think you are exactly to first of all, tear the OP apart and then to get in a lather about use of the word brat.
It's a bit of slang, sorry if you live in such a delicate, 'naice' world but you can't control other people's language or usage just because it doesn't fit your superior world view.
I feel really sorry for the OP and the aggressive responses she has had to a difficult situation.
BRAT dictionary definition
in British English
(bræt IPA Pronunciation Guide )
noun
1. a child, esp one who is ill-mannered or unruly: used contemptuously or playfully
adjective
2. informal
characterized by a confident, independent, and hedonistic attitude
Collins English Dictionary. Copyright © HarperCollins Publishers
Word origin
C16: perhaps special use of earlier brat rag, from Old English bratt cloak, of Celtic origin; related to Old Irish bratt cloth, brat2

Yes I'm judgemental about people who call five year olds brats. Not something I'm ashamed.

You're pretty judgemental yourself aren't you.

I would approach your daughter and tick her off for not turning up today. I wouldn't apologise to anyone for last night's problem ...but I would say to your daughter that you regret using the word 'horrible' and that you should have said 'naughty'. You were doing your daughter a favour and she should have told her children to be behave for Granny. This 'children rule' idea is ridiculous and parents are storing up trouble for themselves in the future.
Ignore the trolls my dear, they're all sitting around waiting to pounce on vulnerable souls like you. Everyone makes heat-of-the-moment mistakes parenting or grandparenting, they're not hanging offences!
If your daughter doesn't respond kindly to your outreach, let her stew. Sounds to me like you're a great help to her.

theworriedwell

Granatlast007

No, I mean being incredibly judgmental about someone else's comment, who do you think you are exactly to first of all, tear the OP apart and then to get in a lather about use of the word brat.
It's a bit of slang, sorry if you live in such a delicate, 'naice' world but you can't control other people's language or usage just because it doesn't fit your superior world view.
I feel really sorry for the OP and the aggressive responses she has had to a difficult situation.
BRAT dictionary definition
in British English
(bræt IPA Pronunciation Guide )
noun
1. a child, esp one who is ill-mannered or unruly: used contemptuously or playfully
adjective
2. informal
characterized by a confident, independent, and hedonistic attitude
Collins English Dictionary. Copyright © HarperCollins Publishers
Word origin
C16: perhaps special use of earlier brat rag, from Old English bratt cloak, of Celtic origin; related to Old Irish bratt cloth, brat2

Yes I'm judgemental about people who call five year olds brats. Not something I'm ashamed.

You're pretty judgemental yourself aren't you.

I call snobs out if that's what you mean and narrow minded people with no compassion, goodness me, a Tory turn Reform UK voter with a concierge mentality, what a lot of you there are about these days.

Granddaughter was overtired by 10pm and was acting up.
Gran was overtired by 10pm and acting up.

Gran is the adult and the child is 5. Just say sorry and put it to bed. We are all human.

Forget it, a fuss about nothing. Gran called grandchild a horrible girl, child in turn told her Mother, who totally overreacted and blamed her Mother, instead of looking at her own parenting. This child could not wait to tell her Mother so Gran got in trouble.
I looked after my Grandson a few years ago he was 6, He jumped out at me and make me jump, I said "you little bugger". Soon as my daughter came in, he run to his Mother, first thing out of his mouth was "Gran called me a bugger", his face was bright pink, he was smiling and was able to say a mild swear word without getting into trouble. I explained what happened and my daughter laughed when he left the room. This little girl knew exactly what she was doing and has probably heard the Mother bad mouthing the Gran.
I would not babysit anymore until the daughter changed her attitude.

Granatlast you can't hear me but I'm laughing at you. Labour voter allowance my life. DH would be horrified if he thought I was voting Reform given their attitude to immigrants, him being one of the commonwealth black people who arrived here in 1948. You are hilarious.

This thread is getting stupid, I disagree with worried well on the use of the words horrid child, but indicating she is a reform voter and bringing in anyones politics is wrong.
I think this thread is getting unpleasant.

Getting ??

Or gotten ?