sle1964
I have 4 and 6 year old grandchildren. They spend the night weekly. Their dad is deployed and mom works also, so I'm sympathetic to missing their parents. They need someone to be in the room while they fall asleep and if they wake up at night. This stems from it being done this way at home. I have a rollaway bed in their room for when they fall asleep, but they know I go to my own bed after. They call out or come get me if they wake in the middle of the night. I know this needs to change because it's wearing me out, but what should be the next step?
This bedtime sitting appears to be one of the weird tyrannies of modern parenting. (Where do they get these notions from?)
ex-dil used to spend hours sitting with the GC ( on her phone of course)until they fell asleep. It was her presence that kept them awake. She told me it would be cruel to leave them to "cry themselves top sleep"'. I agreed and explained my four had never been sat with OR cried themselves to sleep at bed time. Even as very tiny babies there was a soothing bedtime routine that settled them down; then they were left in peace, fed, warm, (swaddled as newborns) serene and calm, and happily drifted off. No crying. Sometimes you might hear some babbling to teddy or talk to a sibling.
When the GC came to stay with us as toddlers with their dad not mum, (on the coast) and I was putting them to bed we did the same . A calm bedtime routine. I yawned and told them that sea air makes people very sleepy so I was going downstairs, good night. They happily accepted this as part of the fun at Granny's, settled without a whimper and (of course) were flat out a minute later when I peeked in.
As for night time waking; with my children whatever care they needed during the night , the light stayed off, we stayed in their dim room , no conversation or games ; if they needed a feed or nappy or winding or later a wee or drink of water or comforting from a dream, it happened in soothing comforting silence with no more than a little soothing hum or song. No stimulation at all.
