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Concerned abt estranged toddler DGS health - signs and symptoms of poss abuse?

(56 Posts)
Squibsy Mon 28-Oct-19 21:17:03

My little GC has just started to see his Daddy (my DS) after court proceedings lasting a year.

His mother tried every dirty tactic in the book (written her own book in fact!) to stop this - finally court saw through it all and warned they'll throw their own book at her if she doesn't comply.

That's so far and nearly £10,000 ... and now I too have seen my DGC. But, an old Mum here's 'inkling' something not altogether healthy and possibly worrying maybe going on.

19 months DGC has been extremely sleepy and tired during the contacts... first time: last week was asleep like a sack of potatoes for two solid hours after a morning handover; sweets fell out a pocket; very very hungry; then found my bedroom and wanted to lie down to go back to sleep. Didn't want to leave his Daddy and seemed to be anxious about going: I got a distinct impression DGC was hungry again and didn't want to leave "where there was food".

This week a more normal 40 mins nap, but 'smelling of sweets' and was so thirsty that hardly ate any lunch; picked up toys and was pointing them like a gun; tired again after very little activity.

I may be old thus way out of touch in the eyes of young mothers ... but this is distinctly different to the levels of activity, appetite etc of my own DSs at this age who were mainly 'on the go' all day and ready for a healthy lunch/tea and tuckered out themselves out for a 5-6pm bedtime.

We know perfectly well this little GC is not having any routine and from little information forthcoming is fed a series of inadequately-nutritional snacks through the day until 'teatime' and those tea time foods are not adequate for a growing toddler. Certainly, not choke-hazard-sized sweets routinely first thing in the morning or at all. I wonder if crisps are being fed before 'contact' handover....

But the tiredness - I think could be poor sleep routines (also being kept up the night before to wreck 'Dad's contact' / poss a 'Mickey Finn' of Calpol / Boots Toddler Antihistamine / blood-sugar dips.

IN anyone's else's (grand) parenting experience - where does one draw the line and say, this is a pattern... AND/OR some aspects are more concerning than others ... where does one "go with this" ?

Thanks everyone smile

grapefruitpip Tue 29-Oct-19 12:09:18

painting seems to be able to have a perfectly well informed and coherent " conversation" about other topics such as party dresses. There are one or two exceptionally rude posters who carry on with impunity.

I don't think it's for us to be saying " You are not even a Grandparent". I'm not. I don't think I will ever be one but I was an antiquated when I had my children

The situation the OP describes sounds fraught and complex and knee jerk reactions don't help.

grapefruitpip Tue 29-Oct-19 12:10:04

an antiquated person ( not an antique)

Dee1012 Tue 29-Oct-19 14:21:03

Squibsy
My work occasionally involves Family law and there is a charity that has some really good information/advice.
childlawadvice.org.uk/

All the best going forward.

Squibsy Fri 01-Nov-19 19:07:34

Thank you Dee1012 ?smile - have gifted a 'subscription' to the DS for childlawadvice

Squibsy Fri 01-Nov-19 19:16:20

Thanks everyone for the ongoing support and understanding how I'm extremely anxious - extremely anxious in case there was a 'going to a next level' effort to thwart contact, only after a very difficult and protracted journey of proceedings (numerous non-compliant CAO orders before this stage)

XX