BLACK DOG 25

Hi all
HVDY- my DD already takes meds for her BP. She’s having a review soon so they let her go home as it started to go down . But sometimes after a head injury there can be an internal bleed and very elevated BP can be a symptom.
What a shame about your nephews widow. It must have upset your brother about the jewellry but there are 2 little ones who need their G. grandad and maybe their Mum was not very well. He is missing so much but you do all you can- he has to meet you half way.
I hope your hip is less painful today- do you think Aqua Aerobics annoyed it?
Wyllow- I,m glad your initial feeling re the new extra carer were positive- it,ll be good to get to know her better after a chat next week.
It’s really good to hear the enjoyment you get from your regular carers company. The botanical gardens sound a lovely place to visit.
The psychologist will be used to people having difficulties getting to grips with their suggestions. Perhaps you could ring the Gardener and arrange more regular visits from him. Your tidy garden will not only give you a sense of achievement but also somewhere nice to sit. Maybe even do some pots.
As far as friendships I feel that you are afraid to form any close friendship . After so much has damaged you it’s the fear of getting close then being hurt. If your meds get sorted then maybe you can reach out to your family and friends more confidently.
Doodle- Nobody really understands bereavement until they are thrown in at the deep end. Also everyone deals with it differently don’t they. You have done so well and tried so hard to embrace and take in the kindness offered to you. You,ve made new friends and learnt new things - be proud of yourself. There are no rules or set time scales - time is a healer though.
Glad you had a nice lunch and yes didn’t we have a lovely day today.
Sending love as always.

Goodnight BDs - hope you sleep easyx

Doodle I'm glad you had a nice day today. It was very warm here but then we had thunder and lightning at teatime, and it's been raining ever since. I love thunderstorms.

ScaredyCat I hope your daughter gets on ok re her BP and meds. My brother isn't a kindly, happy, family man, certainly not much of a grandad at all. My hip has been ok today, thanks. Certain movements in aqua aerobics are no good for me - kicking and jumping, in particular.

Quite a lazy, but pleasant day - DH and I bought new bedding, in preparation for the new bed (in a fortnight), had a pub lunch, and relaxed. Hope ALL BDers have a restful night x

How life’s experiences make one understand others better, Doodle - so very true. I’m glad to hear you had lunch out and hope the weather holds for your walking group tomorrow.

Scardeycat you are almost certainly right about friends. Confidence. As ever, a lovely thoughtful post from you for others.

It has been close today here too HVDY and thunder and lightning must have cleared the air nicely. I like dramatic weather too like that. What a treat to have brand new bedding and a pub lunch. I’m glad it was a better hip day

It was very difficult with the psychologist because of a meds discussion. Too complicated to explain but not what I wanted to reassure me so a very bad day after. I did walk in the park but probably a bit too much to take on 3 days in a row.

I really must text the gardener tomorrow. He won’t agree to a regular visit by “now and thens” and the now is getting overdue.

Night night to all BD’s in, reading and away for the day..

xx

Wyllow that’s annoying about the gardener. I have one who cuts the grass every fortnight in spring and summer regular as clockwork. He turns up in March and stops in November. I’d hate to have to keep contacting him so it suits me. I try to do the rest myself though lately I have been a bit lazy or maybe it’s tiredness or depression. Don’t know.
I wish we lived close together Wyllow. I’d love to walk in the botanic gardens with you.
Yesterday morning dh was at s1 waiting for a repair man so I thought I had a few hours but the man was prompt so he was back early.( apart from going for the paper he hasnt been out for weeks)
So I went out to the library and for a walk by the beach and round the town.
I met a lovely couple I know quite well from church. We all help at the same event. Seeing them gave me an overwhelming feeling of lonlieness which I imagine those of you who are bereaved will know well but I am not bereaved.
I’m sorry if that sounds insensitive.
Our local supermarket has closed its cafe. I will miss it so much. I could sit there with a drink and read my book and not feel conspicuous as there were always people on their own.
Lots of men sat there reading papers waiting for their wives to finish shopping.
Carers came in with their clients. There was plenty of room for wheelchairs. Mums could get cheap meals for the children. It was a real community space.
We have lots of cafes in our little seaside town but they tend to be small and more expensive.
I meet two friends on Fridays so today we are going to Costa but that will cost twice as much.
I hope everyone has the best day they can.

Wyllow3 What a shame you had a bad day and didn't get the reassurance you needed. I agree, a walk every day might be too much (especially in the heat). I hope you manage to sort something out with the gardener soon.

EllieAnne How sad that such a popular cafe has closed. All the regular customers will find somewhere else, and perhaps you'll find a suitable place to go. Hope you met/meet your friends today.

I did an online triage for at the doctor's and a GP rang me 20 minutes later, prescribed antibiotics for a UTI (I thought it had cleared up but no). Took lots of toys and books to the charity shops, bought different ones from Vinted (will be here in a couple of days), got myself a dress from Asda, done some washing. That's it for now. Hope ALL BDers are ok x

Hi all
HVDY- we love a storm too especially in mountains when it echos all around. The garden must have been pleased to have some rain.
Thank you - my DD has her review soon and I expect her meds will be upped. She is the same age I was when my BP became a problem. They have a holiday next week so hoping it will help her relax a bit.
It’s brilliant you can still Kick and jump in the pool - such good exercise . I remember when my friend and I went to AA we used to laugh so much we nearly wet ourselves!!
Hope the antibiotics do the trick- that was good service from the GP.
EllieAnne- your day sounds really nice despite you not having the peace you wanted. Although then seeing another couple brought it home to you that you are lonely despite not being alone.
What a shame your cafe is closing- a lot of people will miss it . It’s good to have a place where everyone feels comfortable.
I,m glad you meet your friends for coffee. Yes Costas isn’t cheap but if you have a loyalty card you get some perks like free drinks etc.
Wyllow- sorry the session with your Psychologist threw up some problems - I hope you got it sorted out in the end.
You did so well to get out for a walk too and it is wearying but you,ll fitter the more you do. I,m not saying it’s easy though - you must go at your own pace and not make yourself overtired.
Sometimes with friends you have to take a leap of faith- there are lots of people out there who feel as we do. You are our friend and we,ll always stand by you and care.
Doodle- hope you, ve had a lovely walk today.
SweetPeaSue- hope you,ve had another good day together

Love to all those mentioned , those we miss and anyone reading who is having a difficult time

Scaredycat is your DD home now.? It can take a while to get BP sorted out. Do hope she’s ok for her holiday next week. Where are they going?
Im assuming AA is aqua aerobics rather than Alcoholics Anonymous although you did have me thinking for a minute 🤣
Thank you, yes we had a nice walk today. Coffee and chat after then my friend and I continued walking till we came to a pub and had lunch, sat outside in the shade and watched the world go by,
HVDY hope you didn’t have thunder and rain. It’s been so hot here. Glad you got some more antibiotics before the bank holiday weekend. Hope the UTI clears up soon you’ve had it a while. Are you seeing little girl and the family this weekend?
Ellie Anne it doesn’t sound insensitive at all. I can’t imagine how hard it is with your husband but the loneliness I understand well. I wish things were better between you.
Sorry about your supermarket cafe closing. I know what you mean about somewhere you can sis on your own. I feel like that at the hospice but if you go into a normal cafe they want you to leave when you’ve had your coffee. I don’t suppose your local library has a coffee shop does it? Hope you had a nice time with friends today.
Wyllow sorry your meeting with the psychologist was upsetting. Your meds are important and you need to be in agreement over what you are taking. I do hope the gardener comes soon and improves things for you in the garden.
Wouldn’t it be lovely for you both if you and Ellie Anne could walk together. It would help you both. Wish we could all join in.
Sweetpeasue are you still away? Hope you’re having a lovely relaxing time and you and your Dh are ok.

ScaredyCat Jaffa sat under the patio umbrella through the thunderstorm (the door was open so he could have gone in the house). He is so funny. Your daughter will be able to relax on holiday and hopefully her BP will be better then. Our doctor's surgery is really good, they always ring promptly and sort things out.

Doodle That sounds like a very nice day. A stroll, pub lunch, chat and coffee, all with a friend. Lovely. Yes, we'll see Little Girl and everyone else on Sunday. We're doing a BBQ/buffet, but the weather forecast isn't great, so it may all need to be cooked indoors. There will be 12 of us.

SweetpeaSue Your holiday must be coming to an end, but I hope you and your hsband have had a relaxing time and some good weather.

Going to bed soon (was up at 6), so hope everyone has a good sleep x

Caught up late all, a dressing gown day but OK.

Yes EllieAnne the sort of walk where no pressure to have to be this or that!
Feeling stood by means everything, Scaredycat and all xx

Back in tomorrow,

Best nights all BD's xx

Well, the weather has changed! It's really cool here. Staying in and doing jobs indoors. Hope everyone is ok today. x

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Hi all
Doodle- yes DD eventually got home at midnight on the same day. They are going to Crete - a new place for them but somewhere we really like.
You were right about AA- ha ha. Couldn’t do it now if I tried !
What a lovely days walk you had - such beautiful weather for walking. It’s so nice to sit in the shade but feel warm isn’t it.
We had a walk this morning with a coffee break in the middle. There is so much wild garlic this year and the bluebells are lovely too.
Hope Sunday is kind to you.
HVDY- Jaffa is a Storm Chaser cat- that is so funny.
Yes hopefully DD will chill out next week- she’s had such a lot of stress the last 12 months.
Sorry your nice weather is all done today guess it,ll be gone here as well tomorrow. We,re off to feed the grandcats in a little while- they are sweet but such different characters.
Wyllow- sounds like you needed that dressing gown day- glad it wasn’t a horrible one. You had done a lot hadn’t you.
M and S are still having problems aren’t they so no new nighties for you yet- have you looked in Next online? Prefer M and S though don’t you.
Did you manage to catch the garden man or is he a bit hard to pin down?
We walk together in our heads - but one day who knows?
SweetPeaSue - hope you,ve had a safe journey home and that the holiday has done you both good

Hope all BDs have a peaceful evening and those we haven’t heard from lately are managing as best they can.xxx

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Just trying to catch up. Home today after a lovely week.
HVDY Hope your UTI isn't too painful . We had no thunder storms in Cumbria but I think they're exciting too. Just hope you manage your barbecue tomorrow perhaps in-between the showers. What a great family get together- 12 .
EllieAnne I understand about the anonymity of supermarket cafes. You will miss it - such a shame for all those who go. Doodle's suggestion of library is good if there's one not too far away. I'm so sorry for your sad situation. It must be so difficult.
Scaredycat I'm sorry about your DDs fall - that must have been quite worrying. We worry about our AC no matter what their age don't we. Hoping her coming holiday will help . We had a very relaxing time on ours and good to get away from hospitals and Drs for a while. I agree about the wild garlic - it's been profuse in places where it grows near us. Bluebells are lovely- will try and send a pic of them behind the house we went to on holiday.
Wyllow You've put so much effort in to getting out walking 3 dys running. The Botanical Gardens must be a pretty place to visit. I do hope you can get in touch with your gardener, now hes made a start. Sorry about the disappointing psychologist appt and your meds. We wait so long for these appointments and can be such a let down at times. I hope you feel more rested today after all your walking.
Doodle Glad you had a nice day with your friend yesterday. Sometimes ' watching the world go by' is all we need and you must feel nice and comfortable with your friend to just 'be' when you've had a chat. I hope today has been OK for you. I told DH before our holiday I'd like to visit a church and light a candle and just be quiet- and there was this board, right outside the little church at Windermere inviting people to do just that. ( DH removed his cap when we went in and forgot it- next day we went in and it was there!)

Had a wonderful week - lambs galore next to garden ( 2 got through fence into ours) and just so peaceful looking at the views from the house. Felt like a proper retreat. Went onto lake in boat twice and so sunny. Sad to leave and return but will be good to get into own bed.

Thinking of all those not in and hoping everyone is ok. Love to all.x

Just lost my post Grr.
HVDY no thunderstorms here. Hope Jaffa was ok. How lovely you’re having a family get together. Who is coming?
Wyllow hope your day has been ok.
Scaredycat so pleased you had a walk today. I love bluebells.
Glad your DD got home ok. Hope they enjoy Crete. I’ve not been but a relaxing holiday sounds just what she needs.
Sweetpeasue glad you got to go in a local church and have some peace. Good thing your Dh got his cap back. Hope the break has done you both good.
I went to visit a new friend today. She has the most amazing garden. Like a miniature Kew Gardens. (Well not small actually). It really lifted my spirits being in such a beautiful place and so calm and tranquil away from noise, it did me the world of good.

Doodle Good to hear you have a new friend Doodle and sounds like she has such a beautiful garden. I imagine there's a lot of works goes into it. So worth it when it brings enormous pleasure to those who see it. Nature can be such a tonic when our spirits are down and we need peace.
Sorry I didn't say- that first sunset photo was from the back of the holiday house.

Another of bluebells.

I do spend a lot of time in the library but it doesn’t have a coffee shop.
Lovely pictures sweet pea sue. Bluebells are lovely in the wild but they are taking over my garden and I keep digging them out.I went for a walk this afternoon and took this photo. It was sunny but cold

Oh * EllieAnne* thankyou for that really lovely and interesting photo. That path is so inviting and just wants you to walk down it to see what's around the corner.
You are quite right about Bluebells in the garden and in the wild. My aunt gave me some and they invaded my garden and was constantly digging them out.
Sorry your library doesn't have a cafe. Hope you can find an alternative where you feel comfortable, I really do. I see how much the escape means to you.x

ScaredyCat Grandcats [ grin]. How nice that you go to look
after them. I bet you have acuddle, too.

SweetpeaSue I'm so pleased you both enjoyed the holiday. The photos are beautiful. What a gorgeous place. And lambs , how cute.

Doodle Both sons, their ladies and children (there are 9 there), DH and me, of course, and Son2's friend—he's been a family friend since he and Son2 were 7 (they're 41 now). Your friend's garden sounds marvellous. Does she do it herself or have a gardener?

EllieAnne What a pretty place. That's a lovely photo. Glad the weather stayed so nice.

Off to bed in a bit, got lots to do tomorrow. Hope everyone has a nice night's sleep x

Hope your indoor jobs day went well, HVDY. And may your busy Sunday goes well.

I’m glad to hear that DD is going to Crete Scardeycat- a few years ago I had lovely holidays there on the quiet West coast.
Its good you got out for a walk and coffee break.

Yes, I’ll wait for M and S. Erm..havent contacted the gardener yet, I will do at end of Bank holiday weekend.


*Sweetpeasue thank you for the photographs. And so very, very glad it was a lovely week, a real break from doctors and appointments. So well deserved. I’m glad you found the right place for a candle.

Oh Doodle, so frustrating to lose a post! Your new friend seems to have created a real little haven of peace.

Ellie Anne another lovely photo, and I’m so glad you got out. I miss the supermarket cafe too when Sainsbury closed it.

Today was another dressing gown day, but it was pretty grim. Couldn’t get it together to dress and go out. Just surviving.

Hoping BD nights are as good as they can be. xx

Hi all
SweetPeaSue- I,m so glad you both had such a lovely time in the Lakes. Your sunset photo was beautiful - it would make a lovely canvas.
Reading about how relaxed you both felt was wonderful and it must have done you so much good.
Hope you had a good sleep back innyour own bed - that’s always the best bit when you get home isn’t it.
Doodle- where do those posts go?
Great to have a nice visit with your new friend. Her garden sounds like a little bit of heaven . She must be a nice person to have created something so beautiful. So glad you felt at peace there .
EllieAnne- Bluebells seem pretty indestructible don’t they. They are lovely in the countryside but we too have a little blue army of them invade our garden every Spring.
Lovely photo - you live in a pretty place.
HVDY- hope you are having a lovely family day- some friends are like family aren’t they. A special day.
The cats were pleased to see us but no cuddles yet. DH is a bit of cat whisperer but could only manage to pick one up for about 30 seconds!! It has taken them a long time to recover from their past traumas as street cats.
Wyllow- we like the West coast of Crete too. Elafonisi has just been voted the best beach in the world!
Hope Mand S get sorted soon so you can do a bit of shopping .
So sorry it was a grim day yesterday- just surviving means you are missing out on so much- but survive you do and the past week you have made some great efforts. Allow that to help build your confidence. As always we are right behind you.

Love to all

Sweetpeasue my friends garden was really amazing as was her house. Little treasures hidden round every corner. The bluebells are lovely. Glad you’ve had a good break.
Ellie Anne what a lovely place to walk. Hope you enjoyed the peace and quiet. Shame you haven’t got a coffee shop in your library. Lots of nice garden centres around. I expect you’ve been to lots of them too.
Wow HVDY that’s a lot of you. How nice to have a get together. My friend does her garden on her own but has help pruning.
Wyllow sorry you didn’t get out today. Hopefully soon. Yes please do contact the gardener. I’m sure it would help if your garden was tidy.
Scaredycat I’ve always found cats very aloof. They can be quite wary. How lovely they’ve got a safe new home now.
Will you ever go abroad again do you think? Remember lockdown when you didn’t want to go anywhere, you’ve come in so much since then.
Church was lovely but DH’s name was in The book of remembrance. It was nice to see his name there but it made me cry too.

Wyllow3 Sorry you had a bad day. How was today? Could you write a short list of things you want/need to do and tick them off as you do them? I do that myself, although I often put some things off until the following day or week.

SweetpeaSue No matter how good a holiday is, it's always nice to get back into your own bed, isn't it? I bet you've been doing the washing.

ScaredyCat We had a great day, thanks. One DIL gave me a bunch of beautiful roses, she also made a delicious cheesecake. The other DIL bought me a pretty plant. Stray/feral cats do often take along time before they will sit on a lap or be picked up. My Mr Cooper didn't sit on my knee for 2 years (he loved DH though), whereas Jaffa only really ever sits/sleeps on me.

Doodle Glad you had a nice time at church. It must have been sad to see your husband's name in the book. Have you seen your family?

It's een a lovely day - although it was cool, we had the BBQ and I did a lot of buffet food, too. Everyone came at 4 and left at 8.30. The grandchildren played together, and Little Girl was delightful . Hope everyone has a restful night x

Chilly today, where has summer gone, you got the best weather last week, Sweetpeasue

Scaredycat Elafonisi is really stunning but heaving with people in season. It was north of that, Phalasana was the one I knew well.
I hope your day went OK today…as ever a lovely post for all here. I’d smile to see DH the cat whisperer in action…

Today was a bit better as I did a wash and had a shower. I’m very tum blocked probably cos of not moving around, it’s my weekly shop tomorrow.

Aw, Doodle…..a very poignant reminder in a special place x

I do have an essentials list HVDY As you say some things get put off. The gardener has to be tomorrow. But what a lovely family day you had - roses and cheesecake, plants…a BBQ and all the grandchildren, big smile indeed!

Thinking of our regular BD’s, maybe just reading, but not forgotten

Best nights possible, all xx

Hi all. Very bored today as I forgot to charge my mobility scooter battery so I can't take the dogs out. Days like this make me realise that I have no one in my life. If I died on a Wed night or Thursday morning no one would know until Monday when I didn't turn up for work! What's the point of life when you are so alone

HVDY yes it was sad to see his name in the book but at the same time nice that he was being remembered in church.
Your DILs sound nice people. What nice gifts.
Yes I met our son and DIl at the hospice today which was nice.
Wyllow glad you had a better day today. Hope you are ok for your shop tomorrow
nanny you have your son and the baby and your daughter and granddaughter too. I know you miss your Dh like I miss mine but we have to keep going. It will never be the same but there can be some joyful times.
Scaredycat it’s been much colder here today. Have you been out at all.
Sweetpeasue hope you arrived home safely and are not dashing round sorting things out, hope the rest did you both good,