My 94 year old Mum who suffers from vascular dementia, has up until two weeks ago been living in her apartment but was housebound. My DB and myself have for almost two years been supporting her and organising care services, doing shopping, organising doctor visits, collection of medicines etc. Following an assessment of Mum's health by the community nurse we were advised she should go into residential care as she is incontinent, was laying in bed all day, not washing and living on corn flakes and toast and refusing the evening meal that a care visitor was engaged to prepare for her. She has been in a wonderful care home for nearly two weeks now but keeps asking us when she is going home and says she'll go mad if she has to stay in there. She is being so well looked after but many of the other residents are far more advanced with dementia than she is and she said it's depressing her. We feel that if we leave her in there against her wishes then we are playing God with her life and if she should pass away in there feeling as she says that we have dumped her then it will haunt us for the rest of our lives. If we return her to her flat all the old problems will return and the pressure wilk be back on for DB and myself. I am 72 and my DB is 64 and just can't cope with supporting Mum in her flat anymore. We are both in a very bad place emotionally at the moment and have shed many tears. Help - can anyone advise please?
