Widowhood.

I understand what you mean about doing everything together....... we were just the same. I do drive, however I am not the confident driver DH was and would be nervous about driving out of my comfort zone. I have been on a number of coach holidays (not to Llandudno ) and thought that might be a good way to get there, stay overnight for a couple of nights, then driven back home again by someone else. I realise you are nervous of travel and I wish I had a magic wand and could solve all our problems. Family differences are such a drain on your heart....... I've got those too!

Falcon you are right, grief does effect everyone very different, I have know families that have split up after a bereavement and argued and been upset, I can only put it down to the distress and shock that everyone goes through, and then of course it goes on and on until it gets that it's just gone on too long to rectify, but let's live in hope that things will improve at some time.

Photos, well! some of mine are a little ancient, so I am trying to start to put dates on them when I remember, because if we ever do! meet face to face, I don't want you walking past that little old lady sat in the corner (thinking well! that's not bikergran)

You sound organised buying birthday cards, I am usualy running to the shop at the last minute, I wouldn't mind but we do get 12 months notice don't we. we have my mum and dad' Diamond wedding soon ohhhh drat!!! just rem something....be back later.

Phew!! close call....I had forgot to notify " Her Maj" about my mum n dads Diamond wedding, I was in charge of notifying them, but with being ill etc I had completely forgot!! you can only do it so far in advance (wipes sweat from brow)

Falcon yes let's do keep Llandudno in our minds, it would be something to aim for, would be a bit of planning as were all from different parts of the country, I too wish I had a magic wand to wave over us all, it takes time for us to be able to do things on our own after doing everything with DH or Partner.
It's times like this I wish we all lived nearer then we could support each other in our own way.

There are coach holidays to Llandudno, Shearings/Robinsons but I supose you have different coach firms where ever you live, etc I think they used to do 3/4/5 days, I've only travelled on a coach once to Birmingham Tattoo with DH, ohh the journey home took forever, we set off about 11-30 am it was well after 8-30 pm when we got home, they went around the houses dropping everyone off and we seem to be the last ones, so Iv not been on one since.

Dds birthday on Friday. I must go and get a card for her.

Did you go on a coach trip on your own nannieroz or with your DH?

There are some wonderful trips on offer with various groups. Some museums in some areas run them.

Also Saga have longer holidays for singles and couples.

I hope I will be able to go on a few trips one day soon. Not longer after my DH died I went on a trip to USK. I had quite a nice day out but since then I've not been able to manage it.

falconbird the last few years we went on coach trips together. I have never gone anywhere on my own in my entire life. I researched some short trips last week. I found one I thought looked interesting, grasped the mettle, phoned the tour op and guess what? that particular trip was sold out. I'm afraid I lost my nerve after that and I haven't looked at holidays since.

Did something happen on your little jaunt to un-nerve you?

I think my problem is I worry about not feeling well on a trip. I think we both have done a lot of caring and when we stop and look around - well there's no-one there for us.

We had the car so we could stop when we wanted to for the loo something to eat etc., We were in our own little world and we supported each other. We met when I was 18 and DH was coming up for 21.

I have a friend also widowed who had the exact different reaction to me. She goes away on her own, to London even. I do admire her and wish I could be like her but she is very kind and tells me we are all different. We are the same age.

Like you I have never gone anywhere on my own except for once when I was 21 I traveled home on my own on a train, after spending a holiday with my auntie in Weymouth and once I took two of my sons to Kensington to the Science Museum. I remember being apprehensive on both occasions, so maybe the nervousness has always been there.

Give another trip a go Nannieroz. I did enjoy the trip to Usk and nothing bad happened.

I believe my nervousness is all about being alone. I never had the need to be independent. DH looked after me and I looked after him.

When my courage returns I will have another look at coach trips.

Good luck to you all, I hope you find the courage to go on a trip. Just a day trip is enough to start with. You may well find someone in just the same position as yourselves.

I'm told, by someone who knows, that there are many loo stops and lots of cake stops too!

I found this group for those widowed in their 50s and 60s could this help?

Once you've tried travelling you'll probably become like me , addicted to it!

Thanks anya. Will have a proper look at your link later.

Thanks Anya - I''ll take a look.

Nannieroz - I think we were both lucky enough to find our soul mate. It doesn't make being a widow any easier.

I agree with Anya -try a day trip first.

My mum was like me for years and then - after quite a few years of being a widow she went to stay with her niece in Lancashire! It was a long journey by train. Then she went on holiday to Ireland with her sister-in-law! by plane, her first ever flight.(I was very proud of her.)

I know she was apprehensive but she did enjoy it. It took time though and I think the trick is to know when you're ready and what you can manage.

I do so hope you are right galen. My DH would hate to see me like this!

*falconbird *

oops! falconbird

Hi everyone I wonder if any of you have any plans today, ohh after reading the last few posts, wouldn't it be wonderful if we all lived a bit nearer to each other, even an hours journey we may all be able to do and meet up and then together we would support each other, we could for a "gang" I am just getting dressed trying to have a talk to myself as I have done my party piece earlier on! I just so want o talk to DH show him my hard work in the garden, ask if he wants a cup of tea, sit in the conservatory with him this morning with the sun streaming through, I don't tend to sit in there much at the moment, it's just not the same.I was going through some of my little camcorder tapea dn trying o find I little snatches of DH on them (he hates being filmed) but how I wish I had filmed him a little more as I don't have much footage of him, plenty of photos but not movies. So I only have little snippets of him, and I am frightened of my tapes deteriating and once that happens I can never replace them so I need to get them on to DVDs. SO I think that took me a few steps back last nigh and this morning.

So I have had a talk to myself and going to get my bike out and hopefully if my friend Eileen is free we will have a ride out somewhere. I have to be in the right frame of mind if I am going out on my bike as need 101% concentration, cant afford any lapses. Oh I do wish we were nearer!

Whatever your up to today I hope the sun is out and you all have some fresh air and keep occupied, take care everyone and chat soon

tut just read my post back and some words have got jumbled up! hope you can make sense of it.!

Have fun and take care bikergran

I don't have any record of my husband's voice. I did have a tape somewhere, but I've moved house twice quite recently and I can't find it. I do have lots of photos though, and luckily proper old fashioned photos not just on the computer.

I do worry that I may lose them on my lap top although I do back them up. Gosh the things I have learnt to do now I'm a widow.

It would be great if we all lived nearer. We could go to a nice coffee shop and have a good old chat. Mine would be a Latte and a cookie preferably chocolate.

I also worry about my lap top packing up - but a friend has told me that PC world is very good - and it's only a few bus stops away.

I will nannie

Falcon yes please do keep backing up, even more than once, I back up (especially photos) on DVDs, also on usb sticks I also make DVDs for each person then If I do! loose them then I know other members of the family have them. You will probably come across your tape at some time, I doubt if you will have thrown it out, I upset DD yesterday as she came in whilst I was messing with the tapes, I said hey! watch this (it was GS when he was a toddler in garden) but then of course a snippet of DH came on and she heard his voice so was a bit of a shock to her, it is a bit of a comfort in one way to see him walking about and playing with GS but also upsetting as you just want that time back. but....!

Ohh I can taste the cookie melting in my mouth as we speak
I will try and take a photo of where I go today, if I do go. bfn everyone.

Ah! falconbird what a lovely thought. Having all you ladies to chat to.

I hope you know you have made me very hungry with your talk of latte and chocolate cookies.

Don't worry too much about your laptop packing up. I have one of those tablets, cost £100 when I got it last year, (the new version is on sale now about £79) and it does everything I want. It just depends on what you use your laptop for. I still have my desktop PC, but rarely use it nowadays.

oh well I got bike out went to home bargain,didn't buy a thing, then come back home, I wasn't in mood, couldn't concentrate on anything, seem to have been like this last few days, think since being ill, once I started feeling better I felt on a bit of a high if that makes sense, but think I'm dropping back down to earth again now.
So I came home and ended up tidying understairs (again) not a very exciting day ehhh

My next door but one neighbour has invited me to go out with them tomorrow, I put some trellis fencing up for them on Tuesday, and as repayment (which I really didn't want anything)I didn't do it for that, they are taking me to Skipton and then we are going for fish n chips at "The Weatherby Whaler" (it used to be Harry Ramsdens at Guisely) if I'm right. So that's my day planned tomorrow.

I've amen up archery. I have to sit to shoot and someone has to retrieve my arrows for me. I'm no good but I enjoy it.
Today they'd put up the wrong targets, tiny ones at 20yds distance. I could barely see them them let alone hit them, hence I was delighted when I actually got a couple of gold in the target I was aiming at.(they're so small there's 9 in the space of the one I usually use)

Amen? Taken up!