Widowhood.

Must remember to have plumbers number on standby not bought the taps yet, but on my list of things to do by all.

biker

Would have been married 47 years today. I can't remember the last two anniversaries without him because I was still frozen.

Trying to remember that we did have 44 years together.

Love to all widows

Just had the 10th anniversary (last week). Next week is our wedding anniversary which because of delay due to snow was also the day of the burial. It is still hard on these anniversaries although my children try to make sure I'm not alone. What breaks my heart is that he only saw the first of our 5 gorgeous grandchildren for a few months. One of our last memories of him is the beautiful smile he gave our granddaughter, and her smile back to him as she suddenly recognised him in his hospital bed.

I think the only way through the awful grief process is to do it your way. Weep when you want to, talk about them often and tell your grandchildren how wonderful he/she was.

Hope you all find comfort and peace.

Falconbird that is some going by todays length of how marriages last..well done for the 44 yrs you managed, we would have managed 35 Jan just gone, together for 40, and 20 yr age gap (so I must have been doing something right)!

yes you too grandmac

Hello GN's. Any of you ladies (or gents) still reading this thread?

Quick update on my IT course. Attended two classes so far. Learning a little (think I may have to enrol for another course when this one ends) but I am thoroughly enjoying the social aspect of mixing with others in the same IT novice boat as me!

I would like to ask if any widowed posters experience an overwhelming feeling of sadness when you least expect it?

Frequently

Often, can be something as silly as a news article, a song, birds singing etc. It seems to catch me out so often. In the next 3 weeks I have my dh birthday (also the day we were told he only had weeks to live) 5 days later he died, our daughter's 30th birthday, my birthday and anniversary of his funeral. Where have the last 2 years gone? Sometimes it all feels a lifetime ago and others like it was yesterday.
it is good to share experiences and feelings on gn, in the meantime we paint smiles on our faces for our family.
oh how I hate this new life.

The sadness can come out of nowhere. I was in a good place yesterday feeling confident and optimistic (two years and seven months for me) and then I had the daft idea that he would ring or text me or that his car would pull up outside.

Came home and felt really down for the rest of the day.

I hate this new life too lindylooby. So sad for all of us who were happy with our lot. Chin up and small steps as falconbird reminded me.

to you all

Just now, for no reason, which is why I came back on here.

It will be 12 years soon for me! It's not so bad or often as it was, but it still does happen. It's probably worse as I live on my own and am almost housebound.
It's only my cruises that keep me sane, I think.

Oh! And GN and the friends I've made here!
It's been a lifesaver!

Me too galen. Only five months for me. There are days when I still just can't believe it.

Yes, still ambushed by grief at times. Often sad, sometimes lonely. And some good times.

I am in Oz staying with DD2 and her family so am surrounded by people. I haven't felt more alone. I watch them all and their friends having such fun and feel completely alien. The inlaws obviously do things as a couple, as it seems does everyone I see or meet. Watching a couple of my age walking along enjoying each other's company is heartbreaking. I am so sad and so jealous and I am missing J more than ever. There are so many things to do places to go but it just doesn't seem right to do them alone. I am seriously thinking of advertising for a travelling 'partner' for my next visit so I can take off and do what I want to do rather than just sit back as a spare part, watching! Sometimes I wonder if I will ever feel human and alive again.

Marmight

for everyone.

Even after two plus years I still find the mornings really difficult. I miss him wandering about making cups of tea and chatting about this and that. When people say their retired husbands get on their nerves I want to say - just cherish the time you have together - but of course I don't because they wouldn't understand.

I often feel guilty that my DH got on my nerves during retirement, but then I got on his nerves at times - it was a normal healthy relationship.

I really value Grans net in the mornings because I log on and see what's going on and it keeps my mind from dwelling on my loss.

GALEN could you tell me about the cruises. I feel I need a rest. I've been dealing with so much in the last two years and need a break but I find travelling alone difficult even impossible.

For me, GN is a lifeline. I am 63 years old and have never been alone in my entire life. GN is a vital part of my day. There is such good company (not to mention advice) on here. to all lonely GN's

Same here nannieroz. I'm 68 and living on my own for the first time.

My son lived with us before my DH passed away and now he has his own flat. I don't like it much on my own but friends who have been on their own for several years tell me it does get easier.

It's not a good time for anyone but I think the 60s are a difficult time to be widowed. We're not old but not young. I think if I was 78 I would feel less cheated on those last years, growing old together. We were just settling down in our relationship and had made a pact to be together as old age advanced. I know a couple who are in their 90s and still together, but I guess when the time comes, it could be even more devastating for them.

Cheated? yes that's exactly how I feel too. My son put it rather succinctly when he said "we woz robbed mum".

I've never read this thread before but I'm touched by all these posts. You express your feelings of loss so eloquently.

Grief like this is a measure of how much love you had.

Thank you Anya for that comment. Sometimes I get so wrapped up in my grief, I forget how loved I have been. You have just reminded me and it is such a warm feeling. Thanks again.

I'm very touched too, it makes for thought-provoking reading.
Like Anya I think the grief reflects the love you had, which is a small consolation for the huge loss.
((Hugs)) and to you all x

I think one of the worst things about being a widow is when I feel ill.

I miss having someone to talk to about coughs, colds etc., As we grew older we were always moaning away to each other, going to the doctor and dentist together. No-one can take his place. I guess it's something you learn to live with as time goes by.