Support for family members cut out of loved ones lives 5

Where about in Ireland is the wedding Celeb? We had our honey moon in Ennistimone (probably not spelled correctly) in Country Clare. My maternal grandmother was born and raised there so there are a lot of Irish relatives on my mum's side of the family.

Yep, I remember the rain Yogagirl, I think it rained at least once a day the entire time we were there, still we managed to find other things to do. for you as you're thinking of your GS on his birthday.

I was talking to a lady yesterday who knew d.i.l. when she was a little girl and she said her heart goes out to us, and she wondered if they knew how much pain they were causing. I said of course they know, that's why they're doing it. She told me she'd seen photo's of the newby and he looks just like his brother at the same age, so at least I now have some idea what he looks like.

So sorry to hear about your friend Rhinestone. It's a shock when someone our age passes away isn't it, makes you think about your own mortality and whether these awful estrangements will ever be over.

Oh absolutely Wendysue, our d.i.l. has an awful lot to do with this but I hold our ES ultimately responsible; we're his parents and depriving us of our only GC is an act of sheer spite and bitterness, though what either of them have to be bitter about as far as we are concerned is beyond me.

It is totally unreasonably Jenty and as you say, they're only thinking of themselves, not even their own children when they refuse to allow them to have a relationship with their GP's.

Well, I'm sat relaxing at our holiday home, there's a slightly chilly breeze but there'sand I'm not at home which is always the biggest plus pf all. In the last 3 weeks, we've spent more time here than we have at home so already Mr. S. feels as if he's getting his monies worth.

Have a good Friday and enjoy athis evening.

Hi ladies is in castlebar co. Mayo west of Ireland Smilelss and
Yogagirl

My dad was Actually born in New York or Irish parents all my cousins are Irish ?

The oldest came to live with my mum one summer so we got close.

I love the Irish side of my family and miss my uncles very much r.i.p.
Have 3 cousins one sadly died breast cancer.

Be so good link up again,

yogagirl there are no words of comfort I just feel for you.

Smilelss is great you enjoying caravan pity not mobile yum outdo visit to frinton ??

Hope you feeling ok rhinestone how is foot now.?

My brother calling shortly always cheers me up hope he comes to wedding but if you remember dodgy partner,?????for us all happy weekend disco tomorrow for us thanks god knee lot better Now.

Glad you don't have to worry about being arrested again, Celeb! What an awful experience that must have been for you!

Have a great time at the wedding! And enjoy catching up with your Irish family!

Rhinestone, that one sentence says it all, when you realised you had no control over anything, no matter how many letters and cards you sent it made no difference.. How true that is and how hard is the road to get to that stage. Celebs situation is just so hard as her daughter has been so very ill, the family Tor has married into sound dreadful. How can they just stand by and not say anything to their dil own mother, . Although you do cut off to a large degree and make a different life, it is always there underneath the surface. I still continue to send cards as there is no way the birthdays could just go by anyway, but I gave up letters, phone calls, e mails and trying to have any contact, In me its as if the hope as gone, as I cannot see how if things changed and contact was resumed, it could ever make up for so many wasted years and all the family times I have missed, we have all become slightly different people because of estrangement, so I now just see life with the family I have left, my good friends and generally making the best of the now. I hope you all do just that, enjoy the people that care for you. I found out yesterday of another old friend dying, she was younger than me, hadn't seen her for many years, but I looked back and remember the girl she was and how quickly it all passes.
Hope you all have a good weekend and treat yourselves.???? all the nice things.

Hello Smileless in your lovely tranquil holiday home, thanks for your kind words re; my GS birthday, same thing, it hits hard on the day , but spent the day & evening with ND & baby GD so we laughed & cried together.

Thanks for your kind words too Celebgran. Yes I like the Irish, they are friendly and great fun. Hope you enjoy your disco tonight, I'm going to the David Lloyds re-launch party, prosecco flowing free, so should be a good night

Luckylegs What you say is so true and goes for me too and about C worrying about her estD health, I worry about mine too and my GC. When I was 'cut out' I did email my estD in-laws to ask them to let me know if any of them became ill or, God forbid, hospitalised! but same as C they are backing this estrangement and therefore would not have the decency to let me know

Oh thanks luckylegs you put that so very well. In do agree how ed f I law could leave us on step in pouring rain and tell us ed nearly died what sort people behave like that?

Trying hard focus on what we do have absolutely right we can't change a thing however much we want to it is i. Ed control not ours.

Thank god we all have each other for support.

Wedding not til July 23rd omg was stressful booking flights and hotel online and sooo pricey but be great holiday.

I too am fond of Irish obviously however my dad was sad,y bit of a drink
Er and poor mum had struggle to do cleaning put food on table. Suprising I enjoy a drink as I was frightened of my dad when we was drunk.

Not all that good memories, but he was kind in his own way, died massive coronary at 60 so never knew him as adult,?

Have good weekend all ??may be?

You're right Luckylegs, we're not the people we used to be. I'd never really thought about it before but it's true. I see it in Mr. S. even when he's laughing, and we do laugh a lot, I think the laughter in our marriage is one of the best thing about our relationship. There's a sadness there, an emptiness like a dark shadow lurking behind his eyes. I wouldn't be at all surprised if he sees the same thing in me too.

I'm sorry about your friend.

I can still remember my gran 'phoning us from Ireland when she was over there visiting her family Celeb. There was always the sound of raucous drunken laughter and gran would sometimes be a bit tipsy. They can certainly put it away. I'm rather partial to a nicemyself; it must be the Irish blood in my veins; well that's my story and I'm sticking to it. maybe? Most definately.

I'm glad you spent some time with your ND and GD Yogagirl, nothing can make up for the D and GC you've lost, it would have been a difficult day for you, as we all know only to well.

There'shere and I hope the sun is shining on all of you too.

Yoga, I'm glad to that you got to spend that time with ND and GD. What a lovely, thoughtful young woman your ND is!

Smileless, the scene you described with ES brought tears to my eyes, as well. So sad. Sounds like he's trying to keep peace in his family, though, maybe for his children as well as himself. I'm just sorry it has to be at such a price.

Celeb, I'm so sorry to hear about your dad's scary drunken behavior and what you and your mother went through years ago. But perhaps the fact that you can now enjoy a drink, yourself, shows that it's all behind you. I hope so.

About "the other inlaws," ladies, is it possible they fear being CO, from the young couple and the GC, themselves, if they help the EPs or communicate with them in any way? That might explain what appears to be cold or callous behavior. Just a thought...

Oh sorry, Smileless, I mixed up a post of yours in the "Nasty thread" conversation with your posts here. It was in the other thread that you posted about a scenario that had me in tears.

Morning Girls

I had a great night last night, the prosecco was flowing, we were doing a lot of dancing & laughing, but I did realise, like Mr.S, I just wasn't my ' before cut out ' self!
I had a heavy heart that, even with this fun filled night with good friends, I just couldn't escape from it was still in the background lurking
Even with Frank Bruno and 'The only way is Essex' celebs there lol

Yes the Irish do like their drink & dancing Sorry must dash, yoga calling......
Will not ruin my good mood by looking on that other thread

Oh yogsgirl that's sad, I tend to be able enjoy myself and really forget it all temporarily hope you get to that stage.

cant generalise my dad. Drank too much but his brothers although enjoyed drinking were totally different characters. I. General the Irish are more hospitable and friendly I have found but or course I may be biased ??

I too had great night e d godparents picked us up and I danced maybe too much as knee bit sore now?Was 8 of us and great night.

Already had few tears today just so worried about e d and hoping she ok now.

Dear husband working today so better get few cnores done,???

Oh take a look Yogagirl, there are some really good posts on the last 2 pages; most of the MN's seem to have moved on . Were you name dropping. Glad you had a good time.

We went out for a Chinese last night. I couldn't be bothered to cook and Mr. S. is very obliging, well he has to eat doesn't he.

Wendysue. It gets a bit[confusing]when readin 2 threads at the same time, especially when the subject matter is so similar. I've just been on the other one, and referred to your post on there.

If the MN's have moved on, I hope they're still reading that thread so they can see the 'other side' to estrangement and how so many GN's are open minded, considerate and supportive even if their experiences aren't the same.

By the way Rhinestone, how's your foot? Please tell me you've managed to get rid of that sexy boot now.

Hope you're OK Luckylegs

Ooh I do hate it when I see mistakes after I've posted. I meant and of course there's a 'g' on the end of reading.

Good morning all- My body is all crooked from planting flowers but they do look beautiful and I send some to you.I don't understand the other in laws taking sides. They should be doing the right thing and not get involved. Celebgran
you said your dad was from New York. I was there not too long ago and we went on a tour of the old tenement buildings that the Irish lived in. Very tight quarters and not a lot of sanitation back then. It was very interesting to see if you get there.
I am so sorry to hear about your daughter and that no one thought to tell you. Our Es and his wife never told us about any of their operations either and especially when the grandkids had their tonsils out and tubes put in their ears. Heartless is all I can think of. So your father liked to drink? Well then maybe I shouldn't feel bad about my daughter's divorce knowing that her husband is a drunk and mixes pot and sleeping pills. Maybe she is doing the right thing.
Smileless I am glad you are getting away and things with your house are on the move. We JUST sold my in laws house after 2 1/2 years on the market. All is takes is one person. And yes I am out of my fabulous shoe and into my fabulous sandals again although I did hesitate to put on the pair that I was wearing when I fell. * Yogagirl* glad you can dance the night away. I love to dance but DH doesn't so that is hard for me. I don't remember who said it above but I too feel down a bit even when I am happy. I guess there is too much going on for me.
Mom is on the downside of her bipolar state and is depressed and hard to get out of bed now. She was not happy on our Mother's Day and didn't go to my GD dance recital the other night.
Have a good day all!! I am off to take a much needed walk.

Saw this on Facebook . Thought it was a good post but maybe for that " other" site.

Of to hear from you rhinestone, I have never been to New York, it was Manhattan island our grandfather was a policeman? The family. Loved back to Ireland and bought a farm when my father was quite small I believe.

I wish I knew more information! Now my father and uncles are dead, my cousins only have sketchy info.

Glad you back in sandals,

I used to dread Xmas, Easter other occasions as my father got payralytic at some point and it was scarey as a child.

Smilelss it seems lit you d I law is good match for our si law and for some reason ie possessiveness? They only want their own family near them.

Life goes on my dear twins awful partner rang today and that was a shock, we had difficult relationship with her, sadly her son was killed years ago and she diminishes our pain over losing daughter and 3 little ones today she said you just have to live with it, don't I know that??.

Did myngoodnturn visited elderly neibor 92 can't hear a thing, it is extremely hard work, lost her AIDS in process of getting new ones egged on by me?Tried help with ear drops as took her to dr Wed and they'd said wax impacted she not been using drops correctly oh dear. She refused help at least I tried.

Dinner cooking so better go check things.

Happy Sunday all.

Grrrrrrr meant nice hear from you and family moved back?

maybe I shouldn't feel bad about my daughter's divorce knowing that her husband is a drunk and mixes pot and sleeping pills. Maybe she is doing the right thing.

Yes, of course she is! Good grief, the woman must have been through hell

You're a love Celeb.

not sure I like the tone of your comment with regard to a part of Rhinestone's post Garlicake. It's as if you feel she's insensitive to her daughter's predicament when nothing could be further from the truth.

"Good grief, the woman must have been through hell" don't you think her mother is aware of that fact. Perhaps if you took the time to familiarise yourself with the history of the regular posters on this thread, you wouldn't be so quick with your judgements.

I'm sorry to hear you aren't sure whether you like the tone of my comment, Smile.

I understood maybe I shouldn't feel bad to mean something like: "I feel bad, but now I'm thinking it's not bad really", and Maybe she is doing the right thing to mean something like: "I wasn't sure she was doing the right thing, but she is, isn't she?"

In both cases I concur with Rhinestone that her daughter is doing the right thing and it's something to feel good about.

If I somehow failed to express my vigorous agreement, or you feel Rhinestone did not in fact mean what she wrote, I'm sure you will let us know - although you needn't trouble yourself.

Okay. MY own fault seems like ed trawls this forum as on 29th I mentioned seeing her posts on support group and she stopped posting on may 2nd and put weird thing of f book page saying if you going be weird be open about it,

What sort or daughter did I give birth to ?

If she happens to read this all I can Say is how absolutely rude can you be to accept all these gifts for our Grandaughters without the courtesy of one thank you,

Let's hope one of your daughters treats you this way.

Really Celeb do you really hope your D reads that?
Is that the sort of thing you write about someone you claim you want to be reconciled with?

I thinks that is my business Jains worth why do you feel need to comment ?

I found it a bit jarring, too, to be honest celeb. It looks like you're saying on the one hand that you feel so sad about your family being broken up and want nothing more than everyone to be back together - while, on the other hand, dismissing your daughter and wishing the same sadness on her. I dunno, but wishing a 'curse' on a family member might not be the best way to repair the relationship.

It's your life, anyway, and probably too much water under that bridge now.

No idea who you are garlic but think you already been told not to comment about things you know little about?

Or are you one of those people who love to cause trouble?

my ed has caused me enough pain to last a lifetime I could never form a relationship with her now it's her 3 kids I worry about