Now retired, my husband wants us to travel - I will miss Grandchildren!

Why not go for 2 months then come back for a couple of months then go for another 2 months.

I'm with thatbags all the way with this one. You can't live your life through your grandchildren, poor hubby I think his feelings are being ignored. You can bring them nice presents back from your adventures.

Go and enjoy your travels. We did just that for 4 months, I use to WRITE letters to the gc with little drawings on and they loved it (age 7 downwards) also collected the stamps, also sent colourful postcards. You are only going for a few months, not a life time and you will enjoy them all the more when you get back. It will also give your daughter a realility check about looking after her family and standing on her own two feet., after all she has choosen her lifestyle. you are very lucky that you still have your husband and that you both feel fit enough to travel. Many people would love to be in your shoes, so start thinking of him.

maggiemaybe, (your post 10:15:35) I didn't see the previous comment about OP being a big girl now. I did see several about compromise and I remarked somewhere that compromise by both partners looked like a good idea to me. I was not arguing with anything you said and, being less than perfect, I do miss stuff.

Good post Barmy.
I'd just like to point out on behalf of all grandparents who don't live geographically close to their grandchildren, that it is perfectly possible for both the GPs and the GDCs to survive a few months' separation emotionally unscathed and have a rewarding and fulfilling relationship with the GDCs when you do see them.

I have a lovely friend who is now grandma to four little ones under 5. Her husband's birthday is the week before Christmas and he always likes to go somewhere warm for 2 weeks, usually coming home about the 23rd December. Over the last couple of years my friend has not wanted to go, feeling that she is missing out on their excitement in the build up to Santa coming. When they returned a few weeks ago she told him that she didn't want to go in December anymore. She is more than happy to go on any date he chooses between January to November but just not December. Initially, he thought it was unreasonable, he likes going away for his birthday but she explained that they don't go away for hers either. He now accepts what she's saying and they are booking again shortly. There has to be a compromise in everything. Of course you must go but can it be planned for when not much is likely to be happening. You say your granddaughter is 7 months so I'm assuming you would like to be here for her first birthday in approximately may. Most likely she will have taken her first steps by then but err on the side of caution and add an extra couple of months on, taking you to July. Of course you will want to be here for Christmas but that still gives you august, September, October and November. I'm sure your husband would be happy to make it a slightly shorter break if he can see you are trying

I would suggest waiting till after the baby's first birthday because that first year goes so quickly and they change so much. But really throw yourself into planning the Mexico trip at the same time. Those extra months would give you more time for planning and organisation and you could make it something really special.

Travel and enjoy it while you can. Keep in touch with emails and photos. You will treasure those travels when you are older and perhaps cannot travel. I was also sad to leave young grandchildren when we were posted to Fiji for six months. I learnt so much, met new people and learnt new skills. We have great memories of this time and other travels. Now we cannot do so much and I am so pleased we sought adventure together.

I wouldn't even consider being away from my grandson for more than a fortnight, an my husband knows better than to even suggest any longer! ( he would probably struggle too! )'

Does the poor SIL want you to go on holiday ?

The poor SIL?

I am with Jane10 on this and can fully understand how Minalta cares more about spending time with her GCs than a long trip abroad.

I certainly think there is room for compromise here, six or eight weeks perhaps, but I am a little shocked at those posters who seem to think she should make the sacrifice of going on this trip just to please her husband, so that his dream is fullfilled! Smacks of Stepford Wives!

I do take on board though the points that Minalta might find she has a great time and it will be something she'll look back on with joy, but I think that's more likely if they can come to a compromise she is not unhappy about, than if she just caves completely to please him.

I agree with Barmy . I would hardly call 3 months of travel 'a sacrifice' !!
If not at least compromise over timing people are saying OP post shouldn't go just to please him but the same applies and I don't think he should give in just to please her!
When you retire it is time to put your partner first after long years of putting children first and your daughter will manage fine and it will be exciting for the 3 yr old.

I am like Wellingtonpie 2 weeks is the longest I want to be away from home, family and friends. The thought of not seeing my 2 grandsons for 4 months would make me very sad.

I do realise I am in the minority with my views. I love watching the programmes about exotic places but have no longing to visit them. The U.K. suits me fine.

It takes all sorts.

But OP has said that they had always dreamed of doing long travel when retired.

Lti said:
I agree with Barmy . I would hardly call 3 months of travel 'a sacrifice' !!

Maybe it's not for you, but Minalta has made it clear that for her it is! We are not all the same.

I was quoting you Mair - you used 'sacrifice' - OP didn't.

My husband I have recently retired and should have been Going to NewZealand last year but had to cancel as my father was ill. My father has since died. I have 2 Grandchildren Eldest is 2 years 5 months & baby is 3 months. We have rebooked to go away this year for 6 weeks. I am really worried about leaving my daughter & Grandchildren for this time, and will miss them terribly. I also realise that after bringing up our own 2 girls, working hard all our life. Looking after my mother who had several strokes, Dad who suffered from COPD , my Mother in Law in later years, that my husband and I need to do this for us as a couple. When my Dad retired they planned to do things, travel etc,that they hadn't been able to as they had looked after my Mum's parents until they died. But as Mum had her strokes shortly after he retired and they did not manage to any of their dreams. If anything I would comprise and go for a shorter length of time, but still go. As others have said you only live once. I normally keep a diary of special holidays, this time I am planning on doing a scrapbook of where we have been and what we have done for especially the older GC on our return. I will be relying on FaceTime /Skype to keep n touch

Minalta maybe go on the trip with your husband, it may not be the right time for you both to have such a wonderful experience again.

I would consider, reading your post about the help you provide your daughter, your only child, with her two small children - putting aside some money for some childcare help once a week or in need, whilst you are away.

Just an idea. Enjoy Mexico

I had every intention of travelling after I retired, and maybe taking on work teaching English as a second language. However, my oldest GD, then only 9, still lived close by and we have always been close, so I stayed put, though I continued to go off on Ramblers' Holidays - and visit my sister in NZ several times. After a few years, I needed a hip replacement which made me less independent, but my DS and his family welcomed me on caravan holidays in France. Now my senior GD has a degree, a job and a partner. And she is now the one who goes on exciting holidays! My other GC don't live close by, so their parents have never been dependent on me for support or child minding. They are, after all, mature and responsible adults. The GC are growing into adolescence and have their own activities. I don't regret abandoning my plans to travel but am grateful for the limited amount of travelling I did manage to fit in. If I were the OP, I'd take the opportunity with both hands (though 3 months does seem a bit excessive) because the opportunity might not come again and the GC will still be there when they come home.

Leticia
I was quoting you Mair - you used 'sacrifice' - OP didn't.

I realise that, but OP made it clear she doesn't want to go, and many posters have been telling her she should, in some cases because they find it impossible to empathize with her feelings believing everyone loves travel as much as they presumably do, but in a few cases saying she should go along with her husbands wishes! One has even described her as 'selfish'. Going just to please her husband is, by any standard, a 'sacrifice'.

Minalta.
Consider the possible options:
1. Do as your husband wants.
2. Refuse to go, explaining how you feel about the GCs.
3. Explain how you feel about the GCs and insist on a shorter break.
4. Ditto but try to negotiate a shorter break, being prepared for him to argue - long way to go for short time, not enough time to do all he wants etc.
5. Postpone the trip till GCs are a little older (not sure that will help, they'll be even more fun and delightful then!)
6. Try to 'sell' him an alternative holiday, really appealing, but much shorter, maybe a well organised guided tour either of Mexico or somewhere else you know he'd like. Point out advantages of shorter but more luxurious trip for same or lower cost!

I love to travel but you did not say if you enjoy travel. I think it matters if you enjoy traveling. Your DH is counting on travel as a part of his retirement. Yo agreed at some point to travel during retirement. My solution would be 4 one month trips spread out through the year. I want to do my 'lasts' and watch 'firsts' with compromises and FT.

I will also say that I have a disabled daughter, physical and mental, who lives on her own with care and manage her complicated care every year with modern technology whilst I am away for 3 months in Cambodia. If needed I would simply change my flight, as I did this year and come home when my she went into hospital. My 5 gc have grown up with us being away for 3 months over the winter. They have though us learned a great deal, time zones for one, father christmas comes to us first! They have a wide knowledge of other countries, cultures and religions. Two of them saved up money for their airfares when young teens and we took them travelling for the summer holidays. Maybe I have missed something of their milestones in the 3 months I have been away but both myself and oh have felt a pride and warmth in what we have given them its time to live that dream you say you have been dreaming off.

As a person who has no chance of ever seeing the rest of the world, I would take the holiday as the experience will be a great story to tell your grandchildren. You only have one lif and your grandchildren will be there when you get back to tell the tale.