Husband's adult son is a cuckoo in the nest

Good thinking Niobe glad it worked for you too. Jalima1108 they all have to learn when teenagers to self care, tidy up and be socially clean too.

GabriellaG54 Aren't postal orders paid for when they are bought? Not cashing it is like throwing cash away.

My thought too Jaycee!

I really don't understand the latitude given to the poster's step son by some people. We are talking about a man of 26 not a teenager. Time he got his act together and started giving some thought to others. A lot of men at 26 have a home and family they are responsible for.

Mine were always immacutely clean in theselves, sparkly and very socially aware too - it was just their rooms! The rooms got thoroughly tidied and cleaned every three weeks or so - but if I suggested that it was easier to tidy daily they said they preferred to do it their way!

None of them are like it now they have their own houses

Dogsmother , did you read the thread ? He's not her son and he moved in when he was 24 after his mother threw him out !

Sodapop , I wholeheartedly agree with you ! I also think his father needs to get his act together !

Does he pay rent? That would be my first concern.
He's been with you for 2 years. And obviously you're not happy with that. You must insist on having a conversation with his father, explaining the problems you have with him living you.
But I wouldn't suggest a it's him or me talk. Your husband might say, 'It's YOU!' And where do you go from there?
You must resolve this! You can't be expected to live for the rest of your life with this situation.
Good luck!

Jaycee5

It's up to the discretion of the PO.

He sounds like he doesnt recognise the fact most people wash/shower/ change each day- or notice the state of his room or clothes or even recognise its a problem(could there be underlying ASD issues his parents arent revealing to anyone else?or burying their head in the sand over all these years?if i were you id 'invent' a friend whose rung you& needs help for a week or two as shes 'had a fall' or whatever- & lives a bit away so you have to go stay.Then book yourself a small holiday& see how they get on

I hope rowan55 has sorted her plans by now...i was late coming to this post but hope was able to help..and i agree with others that this son seems to have inherited his fathers attitudes to women- just seems a trite point to make but the sons own mum threw him out,and also she clearly wanted out of her marriage to his dad- men arent divorced for next to to nothing- and the sons following in his footsteps if he ever moves out& gets a wife.

Daughter discovered after 40 plus years with no idea he had one. Her family are just not our kind of people but we don't want to upset them or mine. Happy to meet now and again but they want more.

Rowan are you still around?

So, his room stinks of body odour. He works. Can't you go in the room, remove bedding/dirty clothes and put them through the washing machine. Return it all to the room (no ironing!) Hang the wet clothes in the room to dry if necessary. Open the window for a few minutes.

Buy him some soap and deodorant.

Put his dinner out at a different table to yours. Preferably a different room. Or, even better, hand him a ready meal to prepare himself.

Was there anything else? Nothing insurmountable there.