Good grief was this totally inappropriate?

Why didn't you put the phone down when eh began his rant? Saying no only encouraged him to try and persuade you into agreeing to whatever he had in mind, because some men think no is maybe, if to actually yes. Now, you are prepared. If he apologises warn him that he only gets one foul; another, ad he's out of your life for good and all. He will have to toe your line f he wants you to take him to and fetch him from places.

This was 9am , with your past experience cut him off don't go down that road again you come first

Too many here jumping to the assumption he’s a raving alcoholic. This man may have been in the throes of a hypoglycaemic attack (blood sugar low due to diabetes), which untreated would have lead to coma and death. It may have been the result of a stroke. Perhaps a UTI.

At least check he’s still alive.

One incidence of shocking behaviour in a four-year friendship and he’s dropped without a chance of absolution? What a smashing friend you are.

You're not being prudish at all!

When he's sober, explain to him what he did and ask for an apology. If he refuses or ''can't remember'' then dump him fast.

A few creepy words can easily turn into something far more sinister.

No question……walk away!

OldEnough2noBetter, definitely.

I would say goodbye and untill never again. I understand you feel hurt, taken advantage of, yes maybe as if he raped you with words. This man is obviously not the person you thought he was. You will never again feel comfortable in his company, so yes, stop seeing him. So sorry for you OP 😢

Things said cannot be unsaid and certainly are difficult to forget. In view of your awful past experiences with a man who couldn't control his drinking, I would be moving swiftly on from this relationship. Sad - but he has ruined it .

Stewpot100

Oh poor you - how awful! He has very much overstepped the line of your previous 'friendship,' and words cannot be unsaid. Please tell me that I'm not the only one here that thinks that this should be reported to the police?

Stewpot100: Please tell me that I'm not the only one here that thinks that this should be reported to the police?

And just how exactly would that conversation go?:
I’d like to report my friend. He called me at 9am and told me he wanted to BLEEP me up the BLEEP! Will you arrest him, please?
HEADLINE: LOCAL COPS ARREST MAN IN DIABETIC COMA FOR SEX CALL

It sounds as though you need to confide in a good friend who stays near you and has preferably met him in the past who could help if you felt threatened in any way in the future. By all means get someone to check he's not lying ill in his house or in hospital. If it was drink speaking - well, you certainly don't want to take that on again. Maybe someone else he knows could encourage him to get help, including perhaps going walking with a group. If he's in the early stages of dementia or has some other illness, hopefully he'll get support but you would have to think very carefully about staying in touch - it might not be wise and you could be drawn into some sort of care giving role with someone who could go on to say more distressing things or even start touching you inappropriately.
If he's fancied you for a while but simply didn't know how to articulate it, then poured it all out at once, I think it still sounds highly inappropriate. In that case ,I would be inclined not to stay in touch as he might not be happy with a platonic relationship and you probably wouldn't be comfortable in his company again. Not intending to be alarmist, but is there any chance he would engage in stalker - like activity? Maybe have a word you can use in a phone call to a nearby friend or neighbour if he turns up and harasses you, so they can check you're ok.
Whatever is behind it, looks like the friendship is probably over.

What a dreadful situation Felicity. Whatever the reason may be for his behaviour you will never be able to look at him again and not hear those vile words. Ofcourse it’s inappropriate , a part of me would still want to see him and tell him in no uncertain terms how his phone call has upset you. Hopefully you can then move on.

I agree with the majority - this relationship is over!

Totally agree

Does he have family, find out if he has been behaving oddly, it could be a kind of dementia beginning, or completely drunk

A friendship is only truly platonic if both friends regard it so. Once one half of a close friendship crosses the line by expressing sexual desire for the other, it can't be put back in the box very easily. It maybe your friend is genuinely lonely and actually wants a partner to share intimacy with, rather than just friend, and required Dutch courage to tell you in a less than appropriate way, and there's probably no way to put the genie back in the bottle, and I think you have at least cool off for a while and see if he apologizes and if you are comfortable with that apology, and also whether he is comfortable with your lack of sexual interest in him. He too will feel rejected, and may regret crossing the line. If the friendship is valued on both sides, it might be retrievable after a period of reflection for both of you.

Sparklefizz

9am and he was already drunk!! You deserve better than this. You know that saying “When someone shows you who they are, believe them. “

Yes, that’s what popped into my head, as well.

I’m sorry that someone you saw as a safe male friend has let you down in this way. The only good thing I can draw from it is that at least you know how he sees you, and if that’s not something you want in your life, to withdraw.

Drunk at 9.00 am does not sound like someone you need in your life! And nor is someone who is harbouring unpleasant sexual fantasies about you!

Sadly I think you need to block him and terminate the friendship .It sounds like you have had enough unhappiness already x

That must have been awful for you. He’s ruined any friendship you had. I hope you can move on from this. 💐

Be very careful. See if he apologises although even if he did i would be wary of trusting him. You don't need this. I would probably end the relationship and move on.

As you have known and been in the company of this man for a few years without him putting a foot wrong the chances of him being ill is much higher than him being drunk at 9 am in the morning I would think
Have you checked up on him since or better still asked someone else to check upon him Do you know his family ? or neighbours? or friends ?
This happened last Friday it’s now Saturday so 8 days gone by have you heard nothing from him ? do you know he’s alive ?

End it now. Plenty more fish etc etc.

As you know sexual harassment is any unwanted sexual behaviour that makes someone feel upset, scared, offended or humiliated, or is meant to make them feel that way. I believe the poster mentioned that she felt defiled. I don't think that she mention he was in the throws of a diabetic coma.

@ElderlyDutchLady

As you know sexual harassment is any unwanted sexual behaviour that makes someone feel upset, scared, offended or humiliated, or is meant to make them feel that way. I believe the poster mentioned that she felt defiled. I don't think that she mention he was in the throws of a diabetic coma.

stewpot she has no idea if he was ill, dead or drunk as she was on the end of a phone and it was completely out of character and she has not come back to say she has seen or heard from him in the last 8 days so of course he could be dead in hospital or just an axxxxole No way of knowing which

Loobs I had no idea blood sugar could do that!