Abuse, silent treatment, threats

Thanks MissA.
I worry that my brain is muddled as I felt I'd read that before.

I can only agree with all the other comments here, Lynnie, please don't become a statistic.

It will be hard but you deserve a life without fear, abuse and disrespect; learn to love yourself and don't let this vile bully extinguish you.

OP you could take your ID to the bank and open a new account in your name only.
And then transfer half the funds from the joint account into your new account.
Legally you could transfer all of it.
But best to get your ducks in a row and be ready to flee or actually en route out.
Obviously do not divulge your intentions.
Take advice from women's aid and or police.

What did you do in the 55plus years when he wasn't with you often. Presumably you had money to live and must be self sufficient managing on your own. You're entitled to half, go to a solicitor as you have been coercively controlled all your life, instigate a divorce, use your joint account and get what you can and get out.

Lynnie my heart goes out to you.
So pleased to read that you are making plans to leave.
Sending you strength and a huge hug

Hi Lynnie, sending you love. It will be scarey but I agree with everyone else, you will feel so much better once you escape. You would probably have done it years ago if you had people around you to turn to, but there is help out there & the kindness of strangers is going to be so much better for you than this despicable treatment which must make life not worth living.

You have probably had a comfortable life, and it’s hard to contemplate a different life, but to be safe and happy is pure gold.
Get advice and support from the organisation mentioned.
You can do this.

eazybee

Report this to a solicitor.
Report this to your doctor.
Not a good time of year to make contact, but I am sure people will give you contact numbers to use.
Make a written record of everything that has happened and keep in a secure place.
Then get out to a place of safety.

Do all of the above. Please, please seek help immediately. This is not normal, believe me. Pack a bag with essentials, draw money from your joint account and leave this evil person.

"( . . . ) What is a husband's responsibility towards his wife? To Love, protect, teach, support, and be a good moral and emotionally stable person. A good husband honors his wife and never does or says anything to show her disrespect. He supports her so she is free to grow in a safe and loving home."
-- Bae Macken

Based on this quote above, your life-long roommate has failed at his job and even though he was a Husband, he is no longer a Husband. He has failed. You have not. He is not a husband anymore. I suggest you call authorities and have him removed from YOUR home. If you can't do that, transfer all of your joint funds into your own separate account so that you can find a safe place to live (and sleep).

I know - easier said than done. Do it for yourself. Have some respect for yourself. Draw a line. Find support from anyone who has experience with partner abuse and then heed their advice. If you are being abused, you cannot make logical decisions on your own, in the early days of finding refuge. You need to lean on the strength of others to find your way out of this hell. It is sad when abuse becomes normal and comfortable. Listen to others: This is NOT normal.

You have brothers and sisters and family here on GN. You are not alone. Don't post abuse issues and then ignore all advice. Take the first step. Make a plan.

Reminds me of Gisèle Pelicot. Don't trust someone who abuses like this. They are horrific. Duh!

Get away from him.

Having "no family" is no excuse for not taking care of yourself.

Having no friends is no excuse for not finding one to listen to your woes. Try. then try, again.

So sorry to hear this Lynnie. You are in an abusive relationship and need to get away and make a new life away from your abusive controlling husband. It is not your fault, and you don’t need to feel ashamed as he is the perpetrator. It will be hard for you at first so if you have no friends or family or church community to turn to, please follow the advice of those who have been through this or know how to seek help in various practical ways. I send you all the positive energy I can to support you in this daunting new stage of your life.

so sorry to hear you're going through this, phone social service and tell them how you're being treated, then pack a bag and as much money as you can, nobody should have to put up with this , none of it is your fault,,I wish you luck x

Take your passport and birth certificate my ex destroyed my birth certificate I left behind you don't have to be treated like this there are better people out there