I just do not understand...

I'm tall and not especially narrow LizG but am told I am very cuddly. I take it as a euphemism for fat

I think that unless a poster specifically asks for advice or feedback, it shouldn't generally be offered - and even then it should only be offered in a gentle and tactful way.

It is actually very off-putting when you are upset, and trying to explain why you are upset, for someone to then start telling you where you are going wrong and what you should do/should have done. It's not about being a lovely sweet cuddly gran, it's about being sensitive to other people's sadness and disappointment.

And we all learn from it as well, as it's usually about something that has affected us in one way or another. Make us see things from other perspectives.

jingle I wonder which J0 (eg mark 9) you reached before grannynet showed you the door.

well put eloethan

Eloethan

I understand where jings is coming from. Sometimes, if you read between the lines of what the upset person has written, you can see signs of expectations which as it were "set them up" for disappointment. Sometimes everything they say is negative and you think, hmm.

It's possible to feel sympathy for the "baddy" in some stories.

It is noticeable at times that a question/dilemma is posed by a poster who's name I've never seen before - there are a flurry of replies, people get their knickers in a collective twist and the OP is never heard of again.

GN has to keep their boards active and at times it does feel a bit same old, same old. I would imagine there are professional posters on many forums who are paid to keep things active and interesting. Possibly even on Gransnet

I think your suggestion that GN actually pays people to come on and post their problems is quite bizarre Sel and way off the mark.
I do sometimes think the problems do not have the ring of truth but to suggest that GNHQ is responsible for them seems to challenge credibility.
I agree too with Bags that it is sometimes possible to read between the lines and visualise the other side.
But that doesn't excuse deliberate unkindness.

Sel that's an original conspiracy theory.
Going back to OP - Jings it is clear that you "don't get it" but that time and again you pile in and offer well-meaning but rather bracing advice that upsets the OP of the thread. What I don't get is why you keep on doing this when it obviously is not welcomed by these occasional visitors to GN.
You don't get it - so confine your wit and knowledge to some of the other threads. There are many to choose from these days.

Jess I think there's nothing wrong with "well-meaning but rather bracing advice".

In the main, members offer sympathetic advice along with practical suggestions to a problem, but often the one prickly or curt reply sets people off with accusations of unkindness and rudeness.

In real life a bunch of friends would have differing opinions on how to sort out an issue - some would be the proverbial shoulder to cry on and others would tell you to pull yourself together and not be so selfish.

Offering hugs and flowers is all very well but doesn't solve problems.

I am dashing out: just Google paid forum postings - it's not bizarre at all, it make perfect sense.

Blimey Sel what an eye-opener!

Didn't someone once suggest that j08 was Geraldine's mum!

I've suspected some "thread starters" for quite a while. It makes sense to keep things moving.

I agree that there's no need for deliberate unkindness, jane. I don't think there was any towards the OP of the thread that I'm presuming sparked this one.

I stand corrected Sel

No Jess I will not "confine" myself to other threads. My advice is as good as the next person's. Sometimes better. NEVER deliberately cruel or unkind.

Oh, and I do "get it". I get most of the stuff posted on here. Sometimes I wish I didn't.

And if anyone wishes to tell me to fuck off, I will quite understand where they are coming from.

Yes. I am Geraldine' s mum.

You're not old enough!

When people just want to unload and are seemingly looking for sympathy surely those on Gransnet who think they have brought their problems on themselves etc can just ignore those posts. There have been posts where I have thought - no wonder your son never visits if that is your attitude, etc, etc - but I would just think it is a sad situation and move on to another thread. You can either offer sympathy for the hurt feelings or bypass the thread. It isn't necessary to tell people where they are going wrong and can cause an awful lot of hurt.

We should perhaps direct them to a different place

Loads of sweetness over there.

And see how they like that! Zzzzzzzz

"Telling people where they are going wrong".

I don't recall seeing much, if any, of that on GN.