Frequency of visiting grandchildren

I have just come across this series of messages so please forgive me if I'm saying something that's been said before.

My only GC was born after I was eligible for state pension and, as his parents were both working full-time, I decided to retire and move near to them. We have been so lucky in that it has worked well for all of us. Mum and Dad have been able to continue in their jobs (with some variations in hours) and initially I looked after DGS every weekday. Since he started school I collect him from there each Friday during term time and he stays overnight with me, which gives his parents time to 'do their own thing'. I am also available to help with doctor/dentist appointments etc and school holidays when other set of grandparents (who live abroad) are not always able to visit. I know I am lucky to have this opportunity and enjoy it immensely. Equally his parents are appreciative and include everyone at every opportunity, while also keeping time for just the three of them. Sounds almost too good to be true but DGS has an incurable neurological disorder, which was diagnosed six years ago, and it's hard work at times for all of us.

I don’t really understand today’s culture..what’s this all about ‘timed visits’..A grand parent should not have to make appointments to visit their sons/daughters house..I flatly refuse to do that..the child is part of that household and if it’s convenient to visit I say go As long as you don’t interfer with the relationships or the running of the house then so be it..it’s not like your asking to move in and like someone else said learn to skype. It’s a small word now and we need never be too far apart from any friend or family.

“I flatly refuse to do that..the child is part of that household and if it’s convenient to visit I say go”

The key words here are “if it’s convenient”. You find that out by calling ahead to arrange something. It’s not about timed visits, it’s about being a considerate guest/extended family member.

I always ask if it's convenient to visit. I have a sister who just drops in. I love to see her but it's not always the best time. I remember once calling unexpectedly to my mum and she had just lay down on the settee with cucumber on her eyes. She smiled but I'm sure she wasn't happy. Poor mum, about to relax. Its not fair to turn up without saying.

My beloved BIL bought me a decorative plaque for our last house when we moved.

It read "Friends Welcome Anytime, Family Strictly By Appointment"

I never had the nerve to put it up but it gave me an almighty laugh every time I thought of it.

I would never visit anyone without first checking whether it would be convenient for me to call in. I once hid behind the settee when someone arrived unannounced and it was really inconvenient to see them.