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Sunday lunch today

(130 Posts)
Hilmix Sun 17-Mar-19 15:43:38

Today I set about lunch early In an effort to please my husband
We were having rump steak, garlic stuffed mushrooms, tenderstem broccoli, carrots (as ever,) with onion gravy and my husband's favourite, roasties. I had asked if he is would like sweet potato wedges instead with the steak but he said 'no'.
After sitting down to it, he pronounced the steak to be tough ( it wasn't) I showed how it had the required amount of kindness through the middle so he then blamed his knife .
I offered to swap with my piece but he said there was no point in us both having tough steak
Then the broccoli was hard. Followed by a sulk when I mentioned that most veg tastes better when it isn't reduced to slop. Hush my mouth...
He pronounced the meal ok but enthused over the shop bought sticky toffee pudding and squirty cream we had for pudding.
I am now in my room trying to calm my thoughts. I think the time has come to insist on simple lunches on Sunday, no more the hours spent trying to please. I feel bad to be so upset considering the terrible things happening in the world just now but I feel totally useless...
PS I spent the morning listening to Leonard Cohen whilst preparing lunch when our usual scenario is for husband to watch John Wayne saving the Wild West or winning WW2 single-handed. Maybe me having my choice meant I had to be punished. Who knows?

Schoey Mon 18-Mar-19 11:14:54

My first thoughts were cook something you want and stop listening to Leonard Cohen enough to make anyone sad !!![tongue in cheek ] lol seriously though I’d book a meal out and discuss the cooking arrangements

knspol Mon 18-Mar-19 11:15:02

He sounds like someone who turns into a spoilt child when he doesn't get his own way. Only way imo is to ignore him. Cook or don't cook whatever YOU feel like doing and if he complains tell him he can cook if he wants.

ReadyMeals Mon 18-Mar-19 11:17:58

You may be an amazing cook, but if he doesn't like your cooking style obviously there's no point putting all that effort in for his sake. You could compromise - make sloppy veg and mince half the meals, and your preferred style the other half - giving him the option of making himself something different if he wants to on those days.

Supernan Mon 18-Mar-19 11:22:40

If he lived with me he would be cooking his own meal and not just on Sundays.

susanstroud Mon 18-Mar-19 11:28:09

It is never about what it seems to be. He is down, emotionally tired or sad. I eeds when I feel depressed or down, nothing pleases me. So, the real issue needs to be addressed. Find out what that is and his meal will be good.

SecretOrphan Mon 18-Mar-19 11:34:35

Hi, not wishing to scare or upset anyone, but my dad started like this and would complain about savoury foods but devour sweet stuff as if it was going out of fashion. He sulked like a child. It turned out he had Alzheimer's, so start keeping a log of his behaviour and see if there is a pattern. Sorry you had to endure this kind of upset after putting in so much effort. Your listening to your choice of music might have upset his balance of 'normal', just a thought. Good luck.

HappyBee Mon 18-Mar-19 11:35:48

I’m a useless cook anyway but I seem to enjoy it more now that we have a new kitchen. My hubby hardly ever complains because I used to say “well if you don’t like my cooking then do it yourself”! We take in turns now and whoever doesn’t do the cooking, does the washing up! smile

blueskies Mon 18-Mar-19 11:37:37

Pubs do some super Sunday lunches now and no washing up. My friends all widowed or divorced stopped cooking on Sunday when we became independent. It's a day off for goodness sake.

Liz46 Mon 18-Mar-19 11:42:10

Give him a cookery book to read!

hugaby Mon 18-Mar-19 11:50:15

Hilmix, I suggest you buy your husband a ready roast cooked meal from M&S or Sainsburys. You cannot then be blamed as to how it has been cooked!! You can then have what you want, cooked the way you like it!

25Avalon Mon 18-Mar-19 11:52:37

Was the meal your choice? if not take it in turns to have what he wants one week and what you want the next. Personally as the cook since my dh is useless in the kitchen I give him a couple of choices from what I want to do and it is simple or complicated depending how much time or how I am feeling or what I fancy. I like a roast dinner myself so he is lucky but at least dh rarely complains or if he does I don't feel it's my fault. If he likes his vegetables cooked to a pulp then take yours out first how you like them and leave his in for a bit longer. Just don't let him get to you. If he says the steak is tough tell him you won't buy it from that shop again. Give him a sharp serrated steak knife everytime and ask him if there is something wrong with his teeth as perhaps that's where the real problem lies and why he's behaving like a grumpy old git. Do soft meat like chicken another time, no more steaks since he can't eat them!!

Gilly1952 Mon 18-Mar-19 11:56:46

What an ungrateful, miserable old sod he sounds, Hilmix. Next Sunday, suggest he takes you out for a Roast and let him pay and see how that suits him! I certainly would not be spending all morning preparing a meal, only to be criticised when it was served up. Keep listening to dear old Leonard and have a few glasses of something nice! If the old misery refuses to go out for lunch, just get some microwave dinners and see how he likes that! Or tell him to cook it himself. Good Luck and don’t let him treat you in this way. xx

H1954 Mon 18-Mar-19 11:59:12

Unkind, ungrateful and unreasonable springs to mind! I think I'd be telling him to cook it himself next time!

JaneLynda Mon 18-Mar-19 12:08:56

As he enthused over the shop bought pudding and synthetic cream, maybe you should buy him ready meals instead of going to so much effort ?

PopMaster34 Mon 18-Mar-19 12:11:39

smile

Tweedle24 Mon 18-Mar-19 12:18:37

Can I come and have Sunday lunch at your house? I promise not to criticise. ?

Wotl3y Mon 18-Mar-19 12:20:18

Get him to take you out to lunch from now on....you definitely deserve to be looked after.

Newatthis Mon 18-Mar-19 12:32:15

'Maybe me having my choice meant I had to be punished. Who knows?' - I'm sorry but have you got 'victim' tattooed on your forehead! If you think you deserve him to treat you this way, without standing up for yourself, then perhaps, in a subconsciously your allowing him to do so. Next time cook your own and let him cook his. There is no difference between badly behaved adults and badly behaved children -they need to learn lessons!

sarahellenwhitney Mon 18-Mar-19 12:35:11

I could only think of one reply and that being to tell the miserable, ungrateful * to prepare and cook it himself.

tiffaney Mon 18-Mar-19 12:41:54

Next Sunday tell him he can make the lunch while you watch tv, then complain about everything he's cooked.

Hollycat Mon 18-Mar-19 12:47:17

My husband does that ALL THE TIME. Nothing’s ever “quite” right, there is always one bit that lets the meal down. And if there miraculously isn’t, I am asked for a different mustard, another knife, a beer, etc., or told the meal is cold (on its red hot plate that he can’t touch)! Always something I must get up for. And it’s no good saying “Let him do it”, because going anywhere involves using the walker, which is a pain in the bum! So now, before I do sit down, I tell him to look at the table and tell me what’s missing as I really am not getting up again!?

willa45 Mon 18-Mar-19 12:50:11

You could let him know that his comments made you feel.... unappreciated, disrespected and unloved. If he doesn't apologize or otherwise make it up to you, then suggest he cook for himself going forward, because you just quit!!

JenniferEccles Mon 18-Mar-19 12:50:58

Hilmix you say you started early with your Sunday lunch preparations in an effort to please your husband.

I would like to ask you - what does he do in an effort to please you?

grannymags Mon 18-Mar-19 12:51:30

Well hillmix my hubby can be inclined to moan a bit but my answer to him is 3 moans and i wont be cooking that meal again since most of what i cook are his favs he usually shuts up

lovebeigecardigans1955 Mon 18-Mar-19 12:54:23

Your husband sounds a right misery hilmix, if you can take the trouble to cook a special meal then he can take the trouble to eat it.
But oh dear, isn't Leonard Cohen a bit miserable? I think I'd need something jollier to lift my mood.
He can cook his own damn dinner if he's so fussy. True, there's a lot of sadness in this world but his attitude makes your world feel unhappy. Tell him to buck his ideas up.