Why are people so spiteful?

I hope the woman who has started the new group will be declining any help from Jenny (?) in future.

Babs03

Whatever the reason it seems unfair on Jenny. If Susan has fallen out with her or other group members have it needs to be dealt with openly and not so sneakily.

Yes.

If Susan has a problem with Jenny she should not involve others and needs to deal with it separately from the craft group.

I would be keen to know why Susan has excluded Jenny.

If, as you think, J has lent S money in the past and has divulged this information to someone, then perhaps that is the cause of the trouble? S would not be keen to admit that she has borrowed money probably, and is upset by this.

How do you know this? If J has told you this, (in confidence of course) who else has she told? 🤷‍♀️

I’m not trying to excuse S’s behaviour, but there might be more to it than what appears on the surface.

I wonder if the money is the issue?

I would put a message on the new What's app group saying that Jenny is not on the list and can they please include her. If no-one responds positively I would leave the Whattsapp.. I can't bear non-inclusivity.. then continue attending the creativity group with Jenny and whichever members choose to turn up. You could invite other people, you don't need a whattsapp group really...

Thank you all for your comments and advice, I truly appreciate you all taking the time to respond.

I suspected that Jenny had loaned Susan money when her car was in for MOT and required significant work to get it through. Susan said she would struggle to find the money - around £200 - and couldn't get her car back until she'd paid up. Then Jenny's OH took Susan to collect her car as she had 'found the cash' ; just seemed too much of a coincidence to me, perhaps I am wrong but Susan does have history of being a bit of a sponger; the sort of person who never has her purse when we go in a cafe, can't order supplies on line because her internet is down - get my drift?

Anyway, as the new group had created a car share rota which included me I have responded to the new group and stated that I did not agree to be part of the car share scheme devised by the second group which is seemingly supplementary to the original one, I would NOT be joining them on any outings and events and I find it very unfair that Jenny has been excluded. I have no way of knowing exactly who was privy to that decision.
Looking online recently I can see that not many of the group have actually seen my message so only time will tell.

I intend to carry on with current projects as we have several on the go in preparation for Christmas. If I do withdraw after the New Year I will still be able to support local charities with my creations as I keep getting asked for repeat orders on specific items.

Thanks for update Astitchintime.

Would be interested to know the eventual outcome of it all.

Very brave of you, AStitch.
Glad you have made your feelings clear.

Hear hear!

Do let us know what happens, but whatever it is your conscience is clear.

Thanks Doodledog, Miss A and CG.......I have to admit that I was a bit narked that they assumed I was prepared to car share and didn't directly ask me before creating their spreadsheet thingy.

I would ask on the group why she had been missed out? Must be a mistake which needs sorting out. Ask for an explanation.if this is not available then say well I need to be with Jenny’s group anyone else is welcome.

Awful for you but i personally would have second thoughts who your mixing with. This has obviously upset you give yourself time but I think it’s time to evaluate. Sorry for the spiteful people in this world.

Good for you Astitchintime.

Well done Astitchintime now see who comes forward.

@Astitchintime,
You did the right thing. Whatever happens now you know you did what you could to right a wrong. Let’s see how what you said lands with the group. You might be surprised how others now chime in with support of you and Jenny, sometimes it just takes one brave person to take the lead.
Well done 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

This is what I would do. Post on the new group, I see x has not been invited and wondered why as she is so nice and has done lot to help out in the past.Then await the answers. I personally wouldn't want to be with such people if they exclude a nice decent person, your turn might be next.

Thanks for the update. Susan sounds like someone who, whilst being polite to, deserves a bit of a wide berth.

Astitchintime Good for you. Susan sounds quite unpleasant.

My old schoolfriend messaged me to say she and another of our friends has been blocked from a WhatsApp group and unfriended on Facebook.

She used to say the WA group was boring as it was all about the woman who started it and everybody else had to tell her how nice she looked all the time. She said it was pinging all day long and got on her nerves.

I don’t do WA groups. This one sounded very nasty and cliquey.

Astitchintime

Well done. Sometimes it just takes one person to stand up for what is right. I hope some of the others respond.

Before you leave the group, I think I'd ask a general question to all, asking why Jenny wasn't invited to join the group, especially as she'd been particularly kind and generous to several members of the group.

And a reminder that if you're in a WhatsApp group, you can mute the ping just for that group, and then just check it a couple of times a day.

Well done!

Astitchintime Your use of the word "narked" made me smile because it reminded me of my father who used the word too.
I was also narked when a friend added me to a WhatsApp group without my permission. After umpteen unwanted messages the following day I simply blocked the calls.
In my 1960's student days I shared a house with 5 other girls. One evening I returned home to be informed by 4 of them that they'd asked Fiona (not her real name) to move out "because she's not like the rest of us ". Fiona came from a working class family .It was snobbery. I had no idea that this was brewing and poor Fiona had been booted out earlier in the day. I was shocked that they, my so-called friends, could be so cruel. It was tricky because I thought if I moved out, thereby making a stand, it would result in lost friendships. I decided to move out but oddly enough I remained friends with all but on a different level if you know what I mean. One of life's lessons eh?

It’s nothing short of bullying.
I wouldn’t want to associated with people like her- I would tell her what I thought about it, ( just calmly, don’t want a slanging match) & maybe do it at your next meet so the others can see her for what she is- a spiteful B

CocoPops

Astitchintime Your use of the word "narked" made me smile because it reminded me of my father who used the word too.
I was also narked when a friend added me to a WhatsApp group without my permission. After umpteen unwanted messages the following day I simply blocked the calls.
In my 1960's student days I shared a house with 5 other girls. One evening I returned home to be informed by 4 of them that they'd asked Fiona (not her real name) to move out "because she's not like the rest of us ". Fiona came from a working class family .It was snobbery. I had no idea that this was brewing and poor Fiona had been booted out earlier in the day. I was shocked that they, my so-called friends, could be so cruel. It was tricky because I thought if I moved out, thereby making a stand, it would result in lost friendships. I decided to move out but oddly enough I remained friends with all but on a different level if you know what I mean. One of life's lessons eh?

What great friends eh! I would have got shut of them all- you don’t need friends like these, once I had moved out