Putting myself on the chopping block ...

And quack therapists, of whom there are many, also do more harm than good.

eazybee

And quack therapists, of whom there are many, also do more harm than good.

And, therein lies the problem.🤷‍♀️

A psychiatrist is subject to monitoring, as a doctor, is medically qualified, and are more effective.

“The term counsellor is not legally restricted in the UK. Always check their credentials.”

“ There are currently no laws in the UK regarding counselling and psychotherapy.”

www.counselling-directory.org.uk/profquals.html

Good counsellors and psychotherapists can do a lot of good but the bad ones can and do cause a lot of harm to those they're purporting to help.

Well, I suppose it’s a choice based system. There are plenty of counsellors/therapists around, so for those that want to see one of them, it’s no problem.

And, those that don’t, aren’t compelled to see any.

We all make our own choices. 🙂

I think what was happening was some unnecessary digs at people which obviously isn't healthy at all and can be worked on with the right help

Well I agree with you about unnecessary digs at people which obviously isn't healthy VS, but I doubt we'd agree about whose made those digs and who they've been aimed at.

Well, hopefully, these respective counsellors can work on it.

All good. 👍

Many people in this thread have said they don't understand why someone who is 'healed and happy' would come to this forum to stir up EPs.

Can someone show me where the OP claimed to be 'healed'?

She talks about being happy with her partner and family, but she clearly isn't happy with the MIL situation (she says she's reached out a few times since MIL cut her off) and I read it 3 times and can't see any mention of being 'healed'.

In any case, healing isn't a straight line. And DiamondLilly it's not a binary choice - estrange or don't - there is a world of nuance and many steps back and forth between those two states of being.

Maxiepants good catch

This thread has been a real disappointment really. I've been here for a long time and I have seen similar things to what the OP did done by people here willing to denounce her... For example, posting about specific threads or groups of people unkindly on other threads or agreeing with those who did. Whole threads have been deleted because they talked about EAC here (granted, this is a DIL not an EAC but we are all lumped into the same category, especially if we are female, sons don't get the same level of ire).

Some of us work very hard to keep this space friendly and inclusive to everyone touched by estrangement and try to show empathy and understanding in the face of some very strong feelings that can impact the person posting in their behaviour.

I have seen so much here I don't know how many can hold the moral high ground. I have even seen second profiles set up to say mean things so the original can look innocent.

This place needs so much work to be a support space for everyone where sometimes the hard things need to be said and heard

And the main thing I took from OP posting elsewhere is that she was recieving hurtful comments or witnessing them to others and that is something that previously drove me to engaging in too many arguments here and hurt my mental health until I could learn to cope with it.

If you read DiamondLily's post @ 06.56 yesterday maxiepants she did not say that the OP claimed to be healed she referred to "some" who have done so.

The OP is happy with her partner and children and all of them being estranged from her m.i.l. so the question remains as to why she would want to create a post to instigate confrontation with other EP's, EGP's and m'si.l.

I can understand her not being happy that it has come to this, but what has that got to do with the aforementioned who post on this forum? As was posted earlier, we are not an estrangers mother or mother in law, so why the desire to put us in our place.

No, that is incorrect VS. Entire threads have not been deleted because they talked about EAC. The support thread has been active for more than 11 years and was once deleted, because it was suddenly inundated by a series of very unpleasant posts from 'new' posters directed at me, because having investigated what led up to me setting up a second account which I should not have done and being banned, I was reinstated.

I did not do so to say mean things so I could look innocent. I was once again being followed and goaded by a poster who had previously made my GN experience extremely unpleasant, and wanted to be able to post in peace. None of those posts were deleted.

There have been deleted threads but that is not because of what's been said about EAC, it's because of what some EAC and others who are not estranged or have estranged, have said about and too EP's and EAC.

I'm only saying what I have personally experienced and pointing out that we can all have a little empathy and patience for those who need it

To be honest, I don’t know if the original post was even genuine. But, it seems not.

I took it as genuine, as did others, but as the day wore on, it seemed more and more “odd”.

As the OP said she’s estranged her MIL, she appeared to have solved her problem anyway. I would have said that estranging an in-law, or being estranged by one, would have a much lesser impact than being estranged from your own family.

Finally, Ihatehypocrites exposed the poster as someone that appeared to be posting, on here, just to distress others. I just don’t see the logic of apparantly asking for support, then dashing back and forth on other sites, gloating that “she’d got them all going”.🤷‍♀️

I don’t know about previous deleted threads, before my time. I know that some posters have been banned for disruption, and I know that some have been told, by GNHQ, to stay off of the support thread itself, again, because of disruption.

But, as the whole thing has been exposed as a sham, in my view, I wouldn’t engage further with the OP anyway.🙄

engaging in too many arguments here and hurt my mental health until I could learn to cope with it.

If it damages your 'mental health do not engage.
This thread is not about you.

The solution to the issue is to take personal responsibility and ensure the behaviours pointed out and reacted to by the OP are not the experience of new posters in the future

eazybee

^engaging in too many arguments here and hurt my mental health until I could learn to cope with it.^

If it damages your 'mental health do not engage.
This thread is not about you.

This is a good example of what I am talking about

It doesn't bother me any more but new posters encountering this sort of hostility may struggle

I am personally always more interested and invested in this being a positive welcoming space for anyone touched by estrangement

I don’t think fake, made up posts, to apparently bait people, are helpful or positive for anyone. Whatever side of the debate.🤷‍♀️

The situation is not fake

It has been spoken about here and the other support website

There is nothing justification for taking it at least than face value

Yes, The situation is not fake
It has been spoken about here and the other support website

And Violet, on this website some time ago when the mum came for support and a grandparent's view.

It will surely be horrendous to be living through estrangement whether as the person being estranged or the person feeling they must do it.

I confess to not having lived this particular pain but I think both "sides" need sympathy (and empathy if possible).

to everyone struggling.

Just read my post back - was not trying to sound smug or trying to belittle with the

Sometimes what we type is easy to interpret differently.
Apologies if it sounded trite!

I had my doubts about this thread and the first time the OP posted about her m.i.l. A m.i.l. who takes her GC out of their mother's arms, holds on to them for hours and refuses to give them back. A m.i.l. who on I think four separate occasions feeds her very young GC chocolate despite being told that doing so causes pain and distress.

Yes, I had my doubts but responded and not unkindly as did DL and others.

The OP may or may not be fake, may or may not be grossly exaggerated but the OP's claim that she was posting to give a d's.i.l. perspective and to open up communication between an estranged m.i.l. and estranged parents, GP's and m's.i.l. was fake.

What do you think about her intention to put the estranged on this forum in their place VS? About garnering support for her posts here on GN from another site, in case she received the "tirade of abuse" she was expecting? About one of the responders talking about eating popcorn as they read what they were hoping to see.

How would you feel VS if an EP, EGP and/or m.i.l. had attempted to do to those who have estranged what the OP had attempted to do to the estranged posters on this forum? Would you defend that too?

Only the other day I saw a post exclaiming that no one walks away from a healthy family. The estranged on this forum knows what that means every time they see that or similar. They know that when they say they did nothing wrong, they're not believed, they are being fake and worse. Why isn't that unacceptable? Why isn't that taken into account when it's a new poster.

Those who have been estranged have left GN because of the responses they've received but I've never seen one pull a stunt like this.

The OP's experience isn't the only thing that's been discussed on the other support website is it, and that is the issue here.

It didn't sound "trite" NotSpaghetti and the are appreciated .

I honestly think that if anyone on a support website regards this sort of behaviour as supportive, they are not receiving the support they need, and I do not say that unkindly.

The date orders are correct, support was sought before the OP reacted elsewhere to the comments she got here..

So there is no question...

Someone came here, got some unkind comments, didn't deal with it as well as she could have

Again as a long term poster I feel the responsibility lies with us