Visitors, shoes on or off?

NanaPlenty

I think it’s really bad manners to where shoes in someone’s home unless they’ve told you it’s ok. Hard floors - not so bad as they can be regularly washed but on carpet - yuck. Look what you may have trodden in outside - I hate shoes indoors.

And yet often the same people who are prissy about their carpets have cats or dogs. Honestly, I find it rather vulgar to ask people to remove shoes. If they volunteer, well there's a choice, I guess.

Nanny27

If I arrived at your house in wet or muddy shoes I'd take them off without question. However, if i have chosen my outfit carefully and worn shoes that went well with it I'd be mortified to have to sit through drinks and dinner, possible with other guests who I didn't know well, in bare feet or a pair of borrowed slippers.

My thoughts exactly. That party was memorable for all the wrong reasons.

Unless they've just come out of the box they're not clean.

Moii

Unless they've just come out of the box they're not clean.

If I arrive for an occasion at your house are you going to demand to known if im wearing new shoes?
How rude.

I think I’d rather have peoples shoes than their bare feet walking around my house.

I’m short and if I’m going out my shoes - generally comfy flatforms - are part of my outfit. I’d hate to be told to take them off and be towered over by huge people all night.

In North America it’s common to take your shoes off entering a home. I very much like to keep my shoes on. I normally take an extra pair of slippers with me to change in to. As for a party, I’d wear flats and take my shoes with me to wear in the house. However some ppl are really fussy about the type of footwear you wear in their house, if that is the case they should either say don’t wear heels or provide slippers for your own use. Floors carpet and rugs are meant to be walked on.

I'm perfectly happy to take my shoes off if it is muddy or wet (it is polite to do this) but not at all keen otherwise and have actually refused on occasion.
As others have said, if you've dressed up for dinner or a party you don't want to take off your shoes and bumble around in your stockinged feet all night. If I'm dressed up and it is wet I would wear "outdoor shoes" and change when I get there.
I have wooden floors and good oriental rugs, sometimes people ask if they need to take their shoes off - I would always say not to bother unless their shoes were filthy or wet. Carpets can easily by vacuumed or sponged if necessary and good carpets are not damaged by any of this.

People often ask me if they should take off their shoes. I say they can if they want to but it's OK not to. A lot do anyway. I am usually in bare feet or slippers at home for comfort so maybe they see that as a cue. I didn't realize it had become such a thing. Now I am thinking maybe I should offer to take off my shoes in other people's houses. It would be an effort for me. No one has actually asked me to do it for many years. In the past my neighbour did. I think she had a fear of fear of dirt from the street. I was happy to do it.

This really seems to divide people! I don’t understand the issue. In British culture it is rude to ask a person to remove their everyday footwear when entering as a visitor. It is acceptable if it is a cultural convention, i.e. in another country where this is the norm or the householder is from a country where this is the expectation and they continue their customs in this country. I am always offended when I visit someone and asked to take my shoes off. However, in order not to be the rude one, I would do it. If you’re worried about your flooring or can’t afford to clean it, don’t buy impractical floor covering.

A few years ago we were invited to meet our son’s girlfriend’s family. I put on a nice dress and black leather knee high boots.
We were asked to take our shoes off. Not only did I struggle trying to take off my boots while I was standing up by their front door, but I was wearing ankle length pop socks! I felt a right wally in my nice ‘frock’ and socks!

I have never had to ask a guest to remove their shoes, and unless they were wearing mud covered footwear wouldn’t do so.

We only invite friends and family round for dinner/BBQ/drinks, they are like minded and normally kick off their footwear in the lobby.

All tradesmen round here put on blue disposable overshoes.

I don't think rude at all to ask visitors to remove shoes. There is so much dust and muck on the bottom of shoes. We had new carpets put in a few years ago and bought new mat for the hall for good shoe clean but husband walked down the hall and dog muck on the bottom of his shoes. All on new carpets, he went mad so shoes definitely off for us each time we come home. I bought a pair of slippers for men and a pair of ladies for visitors after that.

Personally I struggle with being asked to remove shoes as I am diabetic so should not go barefoot. It's ok in winter as I usually wear socks, but awkward in summer. I had some friends who had a basket full of slippers in the hall in various sizes for guests to wear which solved the problem for me.

I never ask people to remove shoes as my carpets are all old and pretty horrible. They weren't perfect when we moved here 22 years ago so now they are well past their best but I can't afford to do anything about them, nor could I cope with the upheaval of replacing them! When I move I may feel differently, but the slipper option my be considered if necessary.

I've just been to lunch at a friend's who lives about a quarter of a mile away, so obviously I walked. It's been raining a lot so I walked in outdoor shoes and took smart shoes with me in a bag. I wouldn't want to be shoe-less, the shoes complete the outfit.
My half-German GSS always take their shoes off. They were brought up in the UK, but the German customs are strong
at home.
At my house, people often ask if they should take their shoes off. In dry weather, I say, don't bother, but in wet, it's, would you mind and would you like slippers.

Paperbackwriter

Aveline

I wouldn't dream of asking visitors to remove their shoes on arrival. We also have 'expensive Persian rugs' but also have vacuum cleaners. How rude to expect partygoers to stand around shoeless. I'd have left.

I agree. That was very rude. When we go out to a party we take trouble with what we wear, and that includes shoes. At barely 5' tall I'd have felt rather humiliated without shoes, plus I hate having bare feet. They seem so vulnerable!

The dogs or cats are family members. You are a visitor!

In the country “expensive Persian carpets” come from people ALWAYS take their shoes off on entering any house.

Or they did when I lived there.

I agree Aveline

If that's your entitled attitude you wouldn't be welcome in the house. You are a visitor and you should abide by house rules. It's not like you've been asked to strip naked for goodness sake.

My husband has swollen feet and struggles to get his shoes on. He was really embarrassed when we were asked to take our shoes off when being shown round a new caravan. I really felt annoyed that he was asked to do this.

Rules for guests?

My thoughts exactly Mollygo!

Definitely a shoes off house. I have cream carpets and white tiled floors. We walk around barefoot or in slippers so I'm not keen to have street dirt in. Our visitors take their shoes off automatically. We don't have pets, so likewise don't have dirt coming in from outside. When I go to other people's houses I automatically take my shoes off and if I'm there for the evening I take slippers or similar. Don't see the problem.
I'm sure it didn't happen years ago in this country because often floors were Lino or dark carpets. In some cultures it has always happened.
I recall a friend with wood floors not minding so much until after one event her almost new floor was impaled with stiletto stab marks!

Robot hoover/ mop and tiled floors. Sometimes peoples sock prevents feet are smelly too 🤭

I was taught to as a child, and do it as a matter of course in others' homes.

But I tell my own visitors to keep theirs on in case they get their socks dirty <lol>

Years of having a dog who loved open fields and DH who would not clean up after her made me have washable flooring nearly everywhere, and now the dog has gone NOW he washes them.