Not in the spirit of Gransnet

Caslon, well if I mentioned the posts it would be deleted, sorry.
I will make my voice heard,kindly.

There used to be a specific thread for newcomers, where they’d be sure to be welcomed and get advice about the site. Does it not exist now? I’m off to search for it.

Grandmashe43

LadyGaGa, maybe it’s time for the silent majority to take a stance.
I’ve often felt like posting but thought is it worth it.

I wish more people would join in.

I find it exasperating when people complain that it is the same few voices on threads, but also say that they don't want to 'risk' joining in. The risk is the same for all of us, and only amounts to the risk that someone will disagree with our views and say so.

I also wish there was a bit more group moderation, so that if someone said something unpleasant (ie not just disagreeing) they were pulled on it by other posters rather than waiting for mods to be informed. It does happen, but maybe not often enough. I appreciate that that could lead to accusations of cliquiness though. Other people don't half make life difficult, don't they? ?

Maggiemaybe

I quite like the word minx. Apparently it has sexual connotations and is disapproved of now (according to Mumsnet law). Though I think Minnie’s still in the Beano.

My Sis-IL used to call my DD Minnie the Minx because she was so mischievous.
What a shame its meaning has changed (like so many words).

The thing about pulling people up on unpleasant things they’ve said about others, Doodledog, is that you’re then accused of being mean to them. And yes, of being part of the clique. You can’t win really.

Well at least this thread hasn't been deleted (so far).

I agree with those who say it's a problem on every forum. There are always those who think they're being robust or funny when they're actually being rude and hurtful. And of course there's always a small minority who just post to cause trouble and be abrasive.

Ideally they should be called out at the time. But sometimes that can just make things worse. Which is why many posters just quietly leave the thread rather than getting into argy bargy, or having more insults slung at them.

That's why I think a thread such as the one removed yesterday is useful. It can be a salutary reminder that posters are not just names on a screen but people with feelings and sensitivities, who are entitled to express views without feeling belittled, or ganged up on, or that they've become the butt of a joke.

Debate is good and interesting, but aggressive arguing can get out of hand and drive people off the site.

That's my view anyhow.

I’ve called Bbbevan a minx before now
I hope that I haven’t broken any rule

Chrissyoh

Hi *LadyGaGa
I don’t post much either - but read some threads most days.
So just saying Hello ! X*

Hello Chrissyoh, and welcome.

I hope you'll join in on lots of threads

I remember when I 1st joined mumsnet ( 15 years ago ) there were about 20 posters who were known as ‘mumsnet royalty’ - you were seriously scared to talk to them let alone disagree. .
It’s not like that now as it’s so much bigger, but back then you noticed if a regular hadn’t posted for a couple of days. It was very cliquey.

Nicegranny

rafichagran

It's true, these threads do not end well, but I have seen posters driven off this site due to some of the nasty personnel things said to them.
I also had people gang up on me once, rudeness, bullying, and one poster even made a shocking assumption. I just thought Fuck em, but some posters get upset by it. Before people ask I cannot quote the thread.
I also notice if some posters do not like a thread they try to derail it, why not just ignore it.
Yes as a poster said upthread, it is playground noncence, but playground noncence happens in the work place, it happens in clubs, it happens in all sorts of situations and carried out by adults. Let's not underestimate the effect it has on others.

rachifagran

How come you can actually say “Fuck” in your post when l was bullied and mocked by the bullying nasty women on here for saying “Camilla is an old trollop”.
I mean they were really mean and nasty.
Not the sort of people I would associate with.
But fuck that’s far worse than trollop.

I raise 'Scum' to your Fuck if we are playing swearing Top Trumps. Just thinking about Angela Rayner saying it makes some posters faint it would appear. I was piled on a few weeks back, and it is deeply unpleasant, especially when I was misquoted, words twisted to infer racism which was not there. However, I survived, but it was close. I almost called them scum.

Doodle dog, that’s the point, it’s the way it’s disagreed with, not everybody can argue their point but do want their opinions to be heard,without feeling foolish or hurt.

Yeah that was MN before my time, I think a big site is really helpful as it dilutes it all.

I remember when I first started posting, I think it was in one of the lockdowns and I upset someone unintentionally because I'd said something she thought was awful about <insert famous person of choice> and she followed me for weeks from thread to thread about it. At the time I was looking caring for my adult dd who requires 24/7 care and was just upset/frightened/exhausted and did think it was a bit OTT to take what I'd said so personally. Surely our members are more important than <insert famous person of choice>

I have let it go but surely we all should be mindful about other posters circumstances especially if they post something personal and upsetting. Beswitched, I don't know if I have got mixed up - so I apologise if I have but wasn't it you who posted about a problem with the hospital and your dying Mother and people just continually had a go at you? Things like that I find exasperating

Good heavens
How awful

Right, I’m linking to another thread now, for the best of reasons though.

This is the thread that new members used to be directed to. It was quite nice that they would always get a welcome and could ask any questions about the site. It might be useful to some recent joiners if it was resurrected?

www.gransnet.com/forums/gransnet_cafe/1252353-New-to-Gransnet?pg=16

I think that's why bigger is better Jane because people dont notice the username so much.

I find things like that beyond contempt, I'm afraid.
There is absolutely no need for it, and I have no problem whatsoever reporting it.

MissAdventure

Never take the slightest bit of notice of others telling you what you may or may not post, is my advice.
It changes from week to week anyway.
I report what I see as bullying, and presume gnhq will deal with it or not, as they see fit.

And I have seen bullying behaviour on here, not merely differences of opinion.

Gransnet is for everyone, not just the "longstanding and well respected" members.

Good post.

I’ve just bumped the thread Maggie, but it seems that it might be one of those mysterious threads that don’t appear on the Active List

Thanks, Fanny.

Yes Jane judge and thank you for remembering . You were very kind at that time but I can still remember some of the thoughtless posts I received. It was terribly upsetting. Fair enough if people disagreed with my view but when someone is obviously going through a bad time surely posters could disagree with a bit of compassion.

I’m not sure how to spell the modern version but I like the word in this sentence and I think you will get my meaning,
“She’s a bit of a ho”. It’s meaning , whore.

Beswitched, your comment really resonated with me.

That's why I think a thread such as the one removed yesterday is useful. It can be a salutary reminder that posters are not just names on a screen but people with feelings and sensitivities, who are entitled to express views without feeling belittled, or ganged up on, or that they've become the butt of a joke.

MissAdventure

I find things like that beyond contempt, I'm afraid.
There is absolutely no need for it, and I have no problem whatsoever reporting it.

I agree, some people could do with reading a thread properly, or just holding back a bit before posting. I prefer to tackle the unpleasant poster directly on GN, in case they are misinformed and have inadvertently offended, benefit of the doubt etc., but sadly, this can be misinterpreted as 'ganging up' or being part of a clique. I prefer not to report to GNHQ as we are all adults and shouldn't be running to teacher to tell tales. Sometimes, however, it is the only solution ie when slander is repeated.

FannyCornforth

I’ve just bumped the thread Maggie, but it seems that it might be one of those mysterious threads that don’t appear on the Active List

I know, what is all that about?

I wish there was a threads I started button so I could update on my greenhouse and wildlife stories.

I have had a serious rat invasion this year which I don't think were anything to do with my busy mice. They dug up through my outbuilding floor and as poisoning was in action I quite literally found them dead in a pile of rubble by the pipes in the barn (they had come through from next door, I am positive as they are bird feeding chicken keepers with thick ivy all over their house) Anyway my husband saw the pile of toothbrushes and rats and hot footed it out of the outbuilding and said he had to go, so muggins here was left to clean it up. I STILL HAVEN'T GOT OVER IT. I do wonder now whether it was the rats that got into the roof and frightened out all of the sparrows. As I can't find the threads, I have randomly just posted about it here.