Should I be offended?

I live in a very small cul de sac in the middle of Brighton, there are only 2 buildings in this road, the buildings are very close together you can just get an ambulance or dustbin lorry between them. my building on the right is 29 rented flats for the elderly, the building opposite is leasehold, still flats for the elderly owned by the same H A. we have 2 men in there that completely blank us, if you pass them and say 'good morning' they do not reply, there was one man who lived there who used to tell others 'do not speak to them, they are council scum'. nice people. i think our building is better than theirs as we had half million spent on a refurb last year, any improvements they do they have to pay for.

One of the nicest things about being older is that I couldn't give a spoon of slime what people think of me. The problem is yours, not theirs. You clearly feel inferior because you live on the cheap side of the street, otherwise you wouldn't be telling us about your educational attainments. Your neighbours are clearly the nouveau riche because they don't know how to behave. As another person said, those born with money don't treat others that way. If they approach you again, just look them up and down and ask them what on earth makes them think you want or need their cast offs.

Cambria, good comeback. Vegansrock, you are being kind.

People are doing others an enormous favour accepting their old stuff or stuff they have upgraded. Charity shops kindly accept such goods making the giver feel good. So just apologise for not helping them out and advise on a charity shop.
I don’t think there is any virtue buying new if you want something, and it is available passed on, that is good for everyone especially the planet.
So no don’t be offended in principle but only you will know if you feel you are being slighted.
I can’t imagine offering my cast offs to anyone other than those I know very well for a reason, finding charity shops much more convenient and eager for good contributions.
Neighbourhood forums are great too, I’m often surprised how many people gratefully take up the offers in exchange for the effort of picking them up and removing them.
I thought the patronising notion of the privileged visiting the less- privileged with goodies died out centuries ago.

Really don't think we can generalise about people acting well or badly just because they haven't/ have got money, own big or small houses - just the vagaries of the human condition. Am sure we've all met snobbery and inverted snobbery in person and in the written word. ( yes, even on Gransnet)

My neighbour across the road gave us a bike for our grandson.
Her house is smaller than our house.

It doesn't matter how much wealth you have underneath we are all the same. No one has the right to look down their noses at any one. If they are selling belongings it obviously shows they need the money and are far from being rich. If you see them coming walk away, they will eventually get the message. I have mega rich friends and I am treated no different, some times people who act like this feel they need to to make them feel better. You know better and are comfortable.

What horrible people. Yes I'd be offended, but try not to let it bother you. They aren't the sort of people that would be nice to know, even if they suddenly decided that you were 'good enough' for them. You are obviously much too good for the likes of them.

Tell them to get on their old bike and go.

I wouldn't worry about it too much, snobs everywhere!
I would, however "arrange " for a letter with your husband's title on to be "accidentally" be delivered to one of their addresses - just to see how their attitude changes!!

Life's too short to take offence! Can you accidentally on purpose arrange for a friend to send a letter to the wrong address? i.e. to Dr ..... ........... See what effect it has?

Lindy, I think you need to be more vocal, next time ask the bike owner why you would want his old junk when you have 3 bikes in perfect condition. Tell him to clear off and take his bloody junk with him.

I live in a very expensive area, in a large detached house in large grounds etc.... My neighbours are professional people, hospital consultants, lawyers, MDs etc but are down to earth, friendly, helpful and shop at Lidl. The weekly foodbank collection is really well supported and we help each other. Previously I lived on an estate, much smaller houses, bigger flashier cars and unbelievable boasting. If you have it perhaps you don’t need to flaunt it.

It is ongoing here in Brussels, almost the first thing you are asked on meeting is 'what do you do, which department are you in, or what does your Husband do'.
When I say I am a divorced Chef I am either blanked or get 'Niiice' in a sarky way.
I often try to put the conversation back round to them and ask which University they attended, quite often none. They seem to think sitting in an office all day makes them better than others.
I then get a bit smarmy and list my degrees.
I know it is petty but after 25 years it is a bit wearing.

Snobs. In my book, they are on a par with liars. Please do not give them the time of day. The person who gave you the bike had no right to ask for compensation, since he did not do so immediately, and indeed told you to get it off him. The woman who blanked you must assume there is not room enough in town for both of you doing the same thing. Practice your deadpan face, as I do.

Lindy All you need to say is “That’s very kind of you, but no thank you.”
Whether you are offended or not is entirely your choice. There is no obligation to be offended, as the title of your thread implies.
You can waste a lot of emotional energy getting upset/offended or you can laugh it off and enjoy life.
It’s nothing to do with relative wealth, snobbery, size of house etc.
It’s about how you choose to react to something.
Put your big girl knickers on & move on.

Think I’d rather have you as a neighbour than them

My lovely mum always used to say “dismiss it whence it cometh”

We were all born equal, snobbery is the worst trait.
I’d return the compliment and offer to sell them something you want rid of....in the spirit of recycling of course.

Don't waste your time being upset by these silly people, smile, be gracious, and say no thanks. Life is too short.

Rocknroll5me

People are doing others an enormous favour accepting their old stuff or stuff they have upgraded. Charity shops kindly accept such goods making the giver feel good. So just apologise for not helping them out and advise on a charity shop.
I don’t think there is any virtue buying new if you want something, and it is available passed on, that is good for everyone especially the planet.
So no don’t be offended in principle but only you will know if you feel you are being slighted.
I can’t imagine offering my cast offs to anyone other than those I know very well for a reason, finding charity shops much more convenient and eager for good contributions.
Neighbourhood forums are great too, I’m often surprised how many people gratefully take up the offers in exchange for the effort of picking them up and removing them.
I thought the patronising notion of the privileged visiting the less- privileged with goodies died out centuries ago.

I agree with all of the above, though.....I would quite like the privileged to visit me with goodies.?

To the OP, I would say as a few others have done, be more assertive.It isn’t hard to refuse something with a smile.Or even with a frown, come to that.

I had a sister in law in my first marriage who wouldn't buy anything in Woolworths even good brand named electrical items. She often bought completely identical items at a much higher price at an upmarket shop in a nice part of town.
Your neighbours sound awful so just be busy next time they approach you.

good grief!

class and snobbery still goes on,? I wouldn`t recognise it if it bit me on the butt!

I have lived in this smallish close for 20 odd years, and I have NO IDEA as to my neighbours financial circumstances or otherwise! some of the houses are obviously larger than others, and I suspect some are tenants, but who cares?

LindyR I'm not trying to persuade you to tell us, so please do not think that, but I immediately wondered, assuming you are in the UK, which part you are in. My reason being that I was born in the affluent home counties and around my 50s moved to the East Midlands. The immediate absence of snobbery was so beautiful! Indeed I only heard bits of it, tinged with what I assume they regarded as polite racism, when southerners invited themselves to stay over on their way on holiday further north!

I really feel for you! People like this right opposite your home it must be very upsetting. If you meet the woman who works in your field at another conference, I was wondering if you could just try persistently talking to her! Kind of go up to her and loudly say, "Oh Snobena! Fancy you being here! I could have given you a lift!" turning to the crowd you say "Snobena lives in my road, you know, she's quite well known in our neighbourhood."
To the bike-shovers just be short and to the point, "We haven't got room for your junk, thank you". If junk is too rude say cast-offs. Or the "My husband is an aficionado and we would not use that type of old bike." Then they natter on, so you repeat "My husband is a bike expert and we would never..." Just use the broken record technique, repeat repeat repeat...

As it happens, my daughter when living in London had the woman opposite (WO) come to her door and say "Will your husband come over and fix my gate as soon as he can?" (I think it was a gate - it was a while ago). My daughter, bemused, asked why the lady thought her husband would be any good at that. WO said, "Well isn't he some kind of odd-job man?" Actually he's a senior Partner in a famous group of Solicitors and they are living out of London currently, as he is doing Government work on a project frequently in the News. Well it was before COVID. People make assumptions!

I grew up in a feudal village with a Lord of the Manor living in a Manor House. Subsequently at his death his daughter succeeded the title and lost the Manor House to Inheritance Tax. She and my father, a lowly farm worker who was born on his father's farm which subsequently was sold, had known each other all their lives, having worked adjacent farms. We had an 80th birthday party for dad in the historic barn. The Lady of the manor, in jumper and trousers, was filling kettles to boil. My cousin's wife, in frilly blouse and high heels was swaggering around looking for the Lady of the Manor, to suck up to. At one point she came to us at the Food Serving area and totally ignored Lady X - clearly she looked far too common to be the Lady of the Manor! This is what I love about Princess Anne. She looks after her horses and cleans up the yard when she is not out doing great work for Save the Children etc. She never makes a big fuss nor tries to grab headlines. She is down to earth, caring and decent.

Their insecurity not your problem! Personally, if someone wants to offer me a really useful freebie I'll take it and if I don't need it I'll pass it on to the charity shops or another friend. Recycling is very important these days. I won't buy something just because someone wants an easy way to get rid of it though, that's cheeky.