Daughter at her wits end!

My daughter is pregnant, working from home, home schooling and living on a building site.
SIL is working from home up to 15 hours a day.
She was exhausted.

We met 1/2 way and brought our 5 year old GD home to give them a break. .

My daughter finished work on Friday so can now relax a little, the builders are now predominantly outside and
they can now inhabit the whole house.

The break we gave them was against the rules but a calculated risk.

Why are the majority of us bothering to stick with the LAW about NOT meeting family from a different household when so many on here thinks its OK for them to do it.

My friend lost her 34 year old son to covid 19.....no underlying health issues.He was off colour in the morning and dead by evening
.I sincerely hope none of you are incubating it and passing it on while you break the rules.Selfish people thinking of no one but yourselves .Womem/families are surely perfectly capable of looking after their own children...if not why have them

Parents of adult children do not have to rin to the rescue when life gets complicated.

They are adults, they figure it out.

Add pandemic to the mix and it's a no brainer

Just two children to look after - and dad is about some of the time? It doesn't sound too bad to me. How can it be?

A nine year old refusing to do things needs to learn about consequences (carrot and stick). They do squabble when they're bored, so get them occupied. Have a friendly, optimistic attitude.

Perhaps the mother tried a little too hard to begin with, then lost momentum and feels a failure. A more relaxed and realistic routine would help.

Dad should join them for the compulsory daily walk. Take a few weeks away from school work.

Organise little prizes and rewards as incentives, limit favourite activities (e.g. screentime) for misbehaviour.

Above all, have fun and do plenty of new things (crafts, art, cooking, chores, films etc.) instead of a set timetable!

(How did I ever manage four kids and work on my own? Their father died, I had to get on with it, so I did.)

Me and DH have taken all the instructions on board and have kept in doors for the duration. However friends and family members tell of going round daughter's and sitting in their garden at a distant for a chat. So yesterday for the first time our daughter and her family came and sat in our garden for about 50 mins I guess and it was lovely to see them all. We have seen them on Skype and zoom but not quite the same.
Our daughter like yours is finding things difficult as she is working from home and her husband is sick with ME plus the kids are fed up.
Let's hope it ends soon.

Paddyanne, sorry , but I think we need to use a bit of common sense here. Every week I walk round Tesco, where it is impossible to be more than 6 feet from everybody, especially at the checkout. So I cant see what harm sitting in the garden with my daughter 6 feet away, having a lovely chat, is doing!
You have a very black and white view of life.

People keep mentioning 'common sense' but I think it's a rare thing.

Personally, I just couldn't live with myself if I took any risks. What if I accidentally passed on the virus (or encouraged someone else to) and caused the loss of a precious human life?

I desperately miss my family - but there won't be any visits. I'm disappointed to hear so many lame excuses.

Sophiasnana so you are absolutely sure you aren't incubating the virus...you must pass on how to do that .I do wish you could have told my friends son when he was a bit tired and off colour the morning of the day he died ..then he would have been sure to get help .The problem of course is although the death rate in England is massive a lot of people dont know or haven't even aquaintances who have had the virus or died from it,Believe me once you hear of someone else on a daily basis you'll take notice...or maybe not if you think the law doesn't apply to you!!

While I am very sorry to hear about your friends son, lets keep things in perspective. You have more chance of being hurt or killed driving on the road, than you have of catching corona virus whilst sitting six feet from someone outdoors. I have my view. You have yours. Lets agree to differ!

Do you feel the same about ALL laws,if someone walked into your home and helped themselves to your belongings ,then said its OK that law doesn't apply to me ,just the people who dont have "common sense" you'll be fine with that ? Words fail me

I agree paddyanne. No need to break laws.

Hmm, dont really think burglary and sitting in the garden with your family can really be compared!

Totally agree with the thread. I’m back to square one with my mental health, friends keep me happy and so does meeting them in a well known coffee shop, lost so much weight this lockdown.

If you've all been in quarantine all this time. Haven't met up with other people, then go and visit! No one will have it. It's all completely crazy and everyone seems to have lost their common sense.

I completely understand. My daughter already suffered from panic disorder and now with the lockdown, a active 4 yr old and a stroppy 15 year old she is suffering. Part of the panic disorder is agorophobia so she cant even go for a walk to get away for a break. She is now spending more time in the bedroom which is so worrying. At least when this lockdown is over she will get visits from therapist (i hope)

I have had to phone cahms about my grandsons mental health , we are waiting for a diagnosis for him for autism/adhd he is 5 so he will be going back to school soon , he gave me a black eye the other day after having a melt down , I no he didn't mean to do it , but, they're is only so much a granny can take , I have never experienced such melt downs , even though his mother my daughter has autism, she is quite , compared to him and she is struggling too , I am waiting on a phone call to see what is going to happen x mental ¹in a adult is hard , what happens in a childs mind , it is so scary x I hope she gets help soon xx

My daughter has been in a similar position. Husband working long hours and at first she was angry then coped well . And 2 weeks ago she felt she couldn’t cope and was at her wits end. We met her in a park and she talked to the children and we played at a reasonable distance and sat and had a good chat. We were all sensible and no hugging or kisses but that hour made all the difference to her and to me / not worrying so much . We did the same last week.
Being sensible is what is important but mental health more so.

I am not surprised children are pushing the boundaries - it’s like a pressure cooker! Schools have done their best but some kids are overloaded, others spending 7 hours in front of a screen and others given nothing and parents responding as they feel for but worried their children will be behind so lots of pressure
Personally I think a short visit could make the difference
Good luck

paddyanne I agree about the father taking the children out. My DD and SiL do that to give each other a break, even though both are working from home at the moment. Now you can go to a park, they sometimes all go together. It can’t be good for the OPs husband to be sitting at a desk from 8-6.

Please can we all behave responsibly? Now is not the time to start interpreting the rules in any way we choose.
I would love to see my children and grandchildren but we will not break the rules or encourage anyone else to either. The sheer number of deaths due to this terrible virus is appalling. The NHS and all the other service industries that have kept going , putting their own and their families lives at risk, for our sakes deserves respect. If we are inconvenienced but manage to stay alive then we should be grateful for what we have. Now please grow up!

Jesus Christ.
No worse than flu?
Mental health?
MIGHT EVEN HUG THEM??
So many people here trying to justify breaking the rules a KILLER pandemic has caused. These atitudes are exactly why the death toll is so high.
Ignorant morons.
Don't bother trying to reply to me, I'm done with Gransnet.

My daughter and her husband are both wfh and trying to home school their two children aged 7 and 9 at the same time. I am so proud of my daughter. She has immense patience but my son in law is struggling with being cooped up at home. My grandson desperately needs the routine of school again. He is beginning to have awful melt downs which he used to have regularly before he started full time school. My granddaughter, thankfully, is coping quite well. Luckily they have a garden and my daughter is constantly trying to do activities with them. Their headteacher has said that there is no pressure to do the set school work. The priority is that the children are safe and happy at home. We are in Wales so I can’t help out apart from keep in touch via FaceTime. I can’t wait till I can have my grandchildren to stay with me again, to hug them and to give them all a break.

Gaunt47- i thought you speaking a bit of sense till i read "Give them plenty of hugs"- has the world finally gone truly mad?- theres to NO HUGGING!- What do you think the SAFE distancing is about???

My DD and SIL are both working from home as well as looking after a 4 year old who was in nursery full time while they were in the workplace. Although it has not been easy since lockdown, they have enjoyed the extra time they have been able to spend with GD who has also loved being with them so much. They take turns to work where possible and have managed to take a separate day off to devote to my GD enabling the other to concentrate on work for a long period of time. Granted we are in Jersey and the ease of lockdown started some weeks ago so I am able to go and visit her at a 'social distance'. It still felt strange but it was lovely to talk to them all in person

Oh how my heart goes out to you! This could be my eldest daughter. She an extremely competent and loving mum with two boys aged 4 1/2 and 1 1/2. Days were,as usual structured and filled with activities. Husband is working from home in office at bottom of garden and plays a fair role in helping with boys. Until a week or so ago I was getting increasingly worried about her wellbeing as the situation was so similar to your daughters,she craved just a small amount of me time. She lives 2 hours away so all I could do was be on the end of phone or video chat and send supportive messages do story time on video. Her and her husband communicate well fortunately. In the past week or two the boys are settled and getting along and as a result she is calmer and happier. The eldest could go back to pre school nursery but hes happy to stay at home and she doesnt want to throw everything in the air for the sake of a few weeks. As we are used to hearing this is an unprecedented situation and everyone is coping as best they can,it may take months/years for implications for mental health ,especially for childeren to fully show themselves. My youngest daughter has been able to drop off essential items as I am high risk. The positive impact of just a few moments of real time contact, even if from a distance is marked,I always feel better as does she. Good luck and I hope things get better for your daughter. I think the strongest message for everyone at the moment is that it's ok not to be ok,and pay little attention to social media types who have redecorated the house and coached their 3year old through GCSE whilst baking like Mary Berry?

Those of us who are working are all going to have to take our annual leave this year and not go away on holiday, so the best solution would surely be for your son in law to take a week off work and help out your daughter, he must see she’s struggling?