Forgive me yet again

Dear Annie, just sending love and thinking of you and of your family. x

And yet more from me Annie. X

Thank you x

Moved house a year ago, i was thrilled to have thus bungalow, I remember telling you all about the difference it would make.

Much larger garden, near a church, near the hall for Labour Party meetings. On the flat so could have a scooter . Sisters said it would all be good.
Ten minute walk from my elder daughter

Can't garden because of arthritis

Can't use scooter because loss of weight and fear of going out.

Haven't heard from my sisters in a year.

Church no longer has a priest.

Resigned from local Labour Party

Daughter dead

Didn't turn out to be a good move did it

Annie, you are in the depth of your grief, and it is normal to be lost for a while after something so devastating as the loss of your lovely daughter. Give yourself permission to mourn and flounder — and take time to just breathe. Your heart is broken and it needs time to mend.

Being part of this supportive community and being able to come here knowing there are Gnetters who are never too busy to respond to your cries, will help you make a kind of sense out of what has happened and to feel less alone. The realisation that we are not alone with our fear is very comforting.

I send you warm wishes for today and my admiration for being so very brave.

Warm Thursday wishes from me too. xxx

And as always me too Annie

Thinking of you, good wishes for a the best possible Thursday.

Annie, your feelings about the cross- stitch work and how she will never see it are understood by all who have been sadly bereaved. So please never think that what you write to us here is not understood or valued by us. What you tell us is understood in the deepest sense, and valued by us all.

I am so sorry, I miss my sisters, I worry about them too , just cannot understand their thinking , it troubles me that someone wanted to cause me so much hurt, they must be ill. My niece sent me a text this week to tell me her daughter who is pregnant is having a boy but she only wants the family to know, I replied , said it was wonderful news and thanked her , no reply, she always called me her Mum no 2. She has suffered for years with depression, untill last January she phoned every day , silence since . My youngest sister sent me a text some time ago saying she felt guilty that she didn't contact me when my daughter died said there can be nothing worse that the death of a child and she will have to live with the guilt . Work that one out.

Alexa, there are others here who are grieving , my whining makes me feel selfish , perhaps I need to step back for a while

Please don't feel that way, you are not whining, you are grieving, angry,questioning,confused perhaps, but never, ever whining. Don't step back, keep venting on here. x

Sending you love and prayers, Annie. And hoping that there will be a way for you to reconcile with your sisters. No stepping back, we all care for you.

What exactly do you want explained about toxicology: ml per litre of blood? Maybe I can help explain.

I'm sorry for what you're going through. I apologise for not knowing the background to this tragedy.

What can I say other than bless you? Keep talking, keep sharing and everyone here will try to help and comfort in anyway they can. The grief you are experiencing I cannot imagine. Sending love to someone I have noticed since joining this site, always has time, care and advice for others, while coping with such enormous heartache herself.

Margrete, I think I have it right - 209 per 100mls

My daughter was bi polar and self medicated with alcohol ,

No, that doesn't make sense. 209 per 100 ml? 209 of what? Or is it 209 ml per litre of blood?

It sounds as if she had a lot of alcohol in her blood. This is different from having a roadside breathalyser test which only measures the amount of alcohol in your breath.

It probably won't even help, knowing the exact figures of alcohol and/or medication. The mind sort of seizes on minor details as a distraction from all the rest, which is too awful to contemplate. Why did a young woman, with everything to live for, make that choice? There is no answer. I am so sorry.

thinking of you Annie

I am so sorry that your family are not giving you the sort of support that you need at this time. Could you just keep contacting them (perhaps by email) and sending loving wishes in the hope that they will come round in the end. Your one sister obviously realises she was out of order not contacting you when your DD died; but it does seem strange to turn that round as being her problem - she may have to live with the fact that she did not get in touch, but you are living with far worse.

It is a shame that your house move has its problems - and it is hard for you to think through solutions to the problems when your mind is so full of sadness. I hope that in the spring you will start to find ways of dealing with these, when you might have a bit more "brain space."

This is a time of struggle for you, and we are all, beside you. x

Margrete, I was rather distressed when my son in law told me the statements and toxicology report , must have made an error writing it down . She made that choice because she wanted to escape the dark place she had been living in for quite some time , she was so loved .

Luckygirl, I cannot contact them, one had a third heart attack the day before ny daughters funeral, the other sister doesn't do email or text and has Parkinson's , I can't cause them upset. The sister who has Parkinson's is the mother of my nephew who told the lies. I know little of this illness,

. My daughter was their favourite niece , I know her death would have devasted the three of them.

Anniebach there are so many friends on here that worry about you and want to help in any tiny way they can, please keep writing. Just wish we could all come round and give you a big hug.

Dear Annie, here’s a great big virtual hug from me ?x

I am so blessed to have you all x when I was a gal I remember my best friends Granny use to say - if the Lord doesn't come he will send. This is true x

We plan to make an album for our son's children with photos of him throughout his life and comments about what was happening at the time. We have already made memory boxes for them to give them when they are old enough to look after them. It is little enough for boys who have to grow up without a father.