How often do you see local gc

There now I am hoist with my own petard. There must be a solution to iPads having a mind of there own. Up to me to get control of the thing

Febmum. Stop being controlled by her. If she refuses to eat, that’s on her. If she threatens harm, call the police.

You are creating your own misery by being spineless and not standing up to her.

You only live once - is this the life you really want for yourself?

Oh no. Now I agree with diktat

Eglantine

I pick my two GG up from School once a week to help my DD who has to work three days a week they come back for their diner where she joins us helping her out. They also come over regually on Sundays with other family members for a roast diner they love seeing their uncles and aunts all my children work very hard and have busy lives but all appreciate getting together thats the best part about being a family spending time together, one day it may be their turn to look after me and hopefully they will I think you get back what you give.

Well chewbacca, if you can read you’d see I asked how often people saw their grandkids.

You've had quite a lot of replies to that question. Has it helped at all?

It varies for me- I childmind for DD2 's DD once a week, originally for the whole day, but now from 3-6. I pop into see DD1's family after work for a cuppa once a week and we usually have some time most weekends with all four unless we or they are busy. We are very much a pop in family, quick cuppa, chat and on we/they go. We do speak most days, and I rarely go more than a week without seeing them, if only briefly. if the children are small once a week shouldn't be an issue, doesn't need to be a long visit. We used to leave our kids and go off on our own for an hour. Admittedly, a little harder if they have activities, such as football or dance (which all mine had), but MIL used to help with the logistics if things clashed.

You are creating your own misery by being spineless and not standing up to her.

Windows. Stones. Houses. Glass. People. Throw.

Rearrange into a well known phrase or saying.

Well, we have 2 GC not 20 mins walk from where we live. We haven't seen them, and are allowed absolutely no contact for 3 1/2 years. HOWEVER, I am over it now, as is my hubby. We have and are still, building a good lives for ourselves without GKDS. We have cousins and brothers, although not where we live. We also have lots of friends, but they live overseas. All told we have a lot to be thankful for. But the icing on the cake is our other grandchildren, 2 of them, who live overseas. We Skype with them regularly and they are an absolute joy. And the mother of one of them, although divorced, has kept in touch throughout the years and remembers birthdays and mother's day and father's day. I thank my lucky stars.

I see my grandson once a week, I live about 35 minutes from my son/daughter in law, & I enjoy every second I'm with him, he's 7 months. I play with him for hour's when I'm there & my daughter-in-law gets on with all the chore's she cannot do when I'm not there, & it suit's both of us. I would love to see him more but am eternally grateful for this one day I spend with him. I have built up a close relationship with my daughter-in-law since my little GS come along. I retired at 55 years old so could afford to help out more & have offered on numerous occasions but they have not taken up the offer so that's ok with me. My daughter-in-law doe's not intend going back to work until GS is in school so there will not be any reason for me to visit more at this time but I would gladly do so. I only have one child ( my son) so maybe this will be my only GC because my DIL is in her late 30's but if this is so it is their choice, but I am absolutely enjoying every second of being " nanny"....

I collect gs 2 days and give him dinner. In holidays I have him 2 full days which is hard as I get older but dil has noticed and taken half days when she can.

chewy

My son and 5 children live 22 miles away and when they were younger we see them every week and usually have one or two staying the weekend. Now they are in their late teens and early twenties it different, one of them we see about once a month whilst the others rarely bother to keep in touch. I do however see my son usually once a week when we meet for coffee, a chat and maybe a shop.

Just as some mil's are extremely unpleasant, so it is clear are some dil. I am am lucky with mine, love her to bits, certainly wouldn't dictate what visits I expected. Her mother cane first but there was lots of room for me. Just wanted them all happy. If I saw them once a month I was happy with that. Now they are all older all my gc are in regular touch by phone and messaging, so something I did was right. How I would cope with the confrontational attitude of the poster I don't know, I think I would just try to see as little of her as possible, difficicult when you love gc I know, but I wouldn't dance to her tune for sure.

You do seem to have a lot of issues with your in laws. So how about you just let them see their grandchildren on their own. Then they can build up an unencumbered relationship, and you are spared the ordeal.

They seem to have successfully raised your husband, so can't have done too a bad job as parents

Five of our GC live over a hundred miles away so we only see them about every 2-3 months when work and school commitments allow. Our other two GC live just a few miles away but we only see them occasionally, if invited. No hostility between us, it's just the way it is.

HurdyGurdy

That's a rather naive statement. In Hubby's case, for example, he grew up well DESPITE his father's actions.

Young children should NEVER be left alone with someone the parents don't trust. EVER.

If MIL feels that she's in "competition" or doesn't respect the OP's boundaries, there's the potential that she will teach the kids it's okay to be disrespectful to their parents or encourage them to hide things from their parents.

I have a toxic FIL who allowed his children around his own father.

TRIGGER

GFIL molested his own daughter over a period of several years.

END TRIGGER

Fortunately GFIL passed away before Hubby and I got together. FIL has treated us abysmally and I want no further relationship. Hubby agrees with me. Hubby has limited contact with him and we have NO plans to see him in the future.

Those are the EXTREMES of people though don't YOU think agnurse? There ARE not many parents OR grandparents who ARE molesters are THERE? It seems a TAD unfair to issue WARNINGS to people that NO children should BE left with anyone that their PARENTS are uncomfortable WITH because they might BE molesters. Very FEW of us ARE.

It's agnurses mode d'operandi Chewbacca.

To send out such messages intended to cause dissent and advice to cut people out.

One wonders if some get a vicarious thrill from thinking that others could be influenced by such toxic views.

Diktat I have no idea why you posed the question in the first place You have a very abrasive way of speaking and sound as if you know exactly what you want to do and exactly what you will do you don’t like your mother in law full stop You have no intention of being kindly, inclusive or even polite
No answers on here would make you change your mind so why ask ??

My DD,her DH and my DGD ( nearly 12) live just under 5 miles away from me. It is 2 buses for me to get there (I don't drive) which takes about an hour and 15 minutes. On average,I see my DD and DGD twice a week,once when I go to their place,and once meeting them in the town which is halfway between us and only a 25 minute bus journey for both of us. I know I don't live far from them really,it's nothing compared to the distance some grandparents live from their families,but I do actually wish I lived nearer to them! I'm hoping I can get a transfer to their town with the council some time in the next year or so.

When mine where small we used to see them everyday either OH or I when not at work would collect them from school until their mum finished work.
Now they are all grown up they pop in when they are passing just to say hello or will ring/facebook me to keep in touch as they have gotten older the visits get less as they have their own lives to lead,

Waves at Chewbacca

Says thanks to BlueBelle for wondering why the OP posed the question in the first place.

Hello Jalima - agree with you about the vicarious thrills for toxic comments.

Honestly - wanders off , questioning whether there isn't something better to do than living in these misery memoir type discussions. Answer before wandering, is yes there is - catch the final bit of the archers.

Yes, there is; go and cook dinner and have a


dum da dum da dum dadum
dumdadumdadeedee

A brilliantly composed synopsis Iam64!