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Grandparenting

How often do you see local gc

(187 Posts)
Diktat Wed 12-Sept-18 19:37:04

Just wondering if you live close to your inlaws how often they saw/see your kids. Mine live 10 mins away and expect once a week but I’ve been able to push it to twice a month.

Urmstongran Fri 14-Sept-18 19:29:31

Honestly ladies I had to check the calendar just now to see if it was 1st April. I’m pretty certain this is another wind up. I think this poster and violetflowers on the first topic on here are having a laugh .... at our expense. Wouldn’t be at all surprised if they both registered today!

Lynne59 Fri 14-Sept-18 19:39:23

My GC live with their mother, 20mins drive away. My son has them every other weekend, Friday teatime until Sunday teatime, and also after school on Wednesdays for 3 hours. We (husband and me) see the girls at all those times - far more than when he was with the mother. She was like you - she kept us at bay, and she was mean and awkward.

Chewbacca Fri 14-Sept-18 19:39:26

Diktat has posted before Urmstongran. On the same subject. With the same problems. Getting the same responses and advice from the same people. Takes no notice.

lemongrove Fri 14-Sept-18 19:41:23

grin
Groundhog Day!

Helenlouise3 Fri 14-Sept-18 19:43:44

I'm a gran and just wondered why you feel the need to "push it" to twice a month. My daughter's children go to the same school where I work, so I see them every day. They still come home with me around once a week for a couple of hours, while mum's in work, or for an occasional sleepover. My son's children are 18, 16, 12 and 10, so have loads of stuff going on. We try to get together for Sunday lunch, but failing that we get together whenever we can. I don't see why either my son or daughter would feel the need to limit their time with me?? They all love being here and we love having them!

CrazyGrandma2 Fri 14-Sept-18 20:23:49

I guess we are the in-laws to our SIL who lives just around the corner. We see them regularly twice a week as we pick them up from school. Rarely at the weekend, as that's their family time - unless it's a sleep over when parents go out. Currently they've been here since Wednesday whilst their parents are enjoying a well earned mini break in the sun. I don't think it's about how often, I think it's about what works for you and them. We have no complaints.

Blue45Sapphire Fri 14-Sept-18 20:32:56

My grandchildren live about 15 minutes walk away, and come for tea every Friday after school. I would say about once a week is about right if you live near them. If they lived further away I would not expect to see them so often.

Jalima1108 Fri 14-Sept-18 20:34:39

I'm amazed posters are still falling into the web of toxicity.

You are so nice. smile

Urmstongran Fri 14-Sept-18 20:48:16

Thanks chewbacca for letting me know. I agree then Jalima1108 ... we must be too (?polite or gullible) to bother replying to her posts. She seems toxic doesn’t she? I shall remember her for future reference & not ‘bite’ when she next posts!

quizqueen Fri 14-Sept-18 21:12:23

I see my grandchildren and daughters several times in the week, their partners less so. I enjoy their company and they enjoy mine but I stay away at weekends as that is their family time. I help with school projects and pick ups and running around to various clubs and, of course, babysitting. I pick up things from shops they have forgotten as they both work full time and I am semi retired so have the time. One lives 15 miles away, the other 3 and we also work together too!
I moved away from my parents and in laws due to my ex's job so they couldn't be as hands on but we drove home several times a year to see them and they came down for holidays likewise. It's such a shame when families don't get on, you miss so much and I know my daughters will be there for me when I can no longer cope by myself.

BlueBelle Fri 14-Sept-18 21:33:32

And another poster who hasn’t read the rest of the thread

Madgran77 Sat 15-Sept-18 08:49:13

I HAVE read the posts ...but I am interested Diktat in why you posed that question ...what relevance does how often other grandparents see you grandchildren have to your arrangement which you have stated you are happy with? Others have asked why you bothered to ask and you haven't replied. Sadly that suggests that the unkind motives that others think are your reasons for posting similar to what you have posted previously, are correct! What a pity!

Mal44 Sat 15-Sept-18 09:11:58

If you are genuinely seeking advice I would suggest that as you dislike your MIL so much you encourage your husband to visit his mum with GC as often as he wishes.I am sure MIL will be happy and love to see her son and GC and you can spend more time with your mum.Problem solved!

gillyknits Sat 15-Sept-18 10:13:38

We live about five hours away from our GC and therefore only see them five times a year, usually for several days at a time. We make the most of it.

moobox Sat 15-Sept-18 11:00:00

Diktat, I am wondering what the point of the original post was, other than to stir up more DIL/MIL trouble, since you are spending your maternity leave as you choose anyway.

Diktat Sat 15-Sept-18 13:04:56

I asked how many times you see gc a month. Clearly some people see them a lot and some people not so much based on the responses.

No way in hell would I send my baby over to mils without me present. Husband is free to visit her as much as he wants - his career keeps him busy so he doesn’t have much free time to go over.

BlueBelle Sat 15-Sept-18 13:36:35

So I ask you again...why did you ask Diktat, you know exactly what you are or are not prepared to do so what’s the point in asking on here you could get 200 replies telling you to to visit your mother in law but you would take absolutely no notice as you have your own strong, and controlling ideas, and a earthquake wouldn’t move you

MawBroon Sat 15-Sept-18 13:58:08

I wonder if you are finding your maternity leave boring Diktat?
With a young baby I certainly would not have had time to waste on the likes of MN/GN !
Play with your baby instead, take him/her to the park or out to the country. Mummy hunched over her tablet ot iPhone is unfortunately what too many young children grow up with these days

Maggiemaybe Sat 15-Sept-18 14:11:44

I asked how many times you see gc a month.

Actually you asked how often our inlaws see/saw our children. That's the question I replied to. I asked way back whether our answers had been any help to you and you still haven't replied. What exactly was the point of the question?

I think you're bored with your own thread now.

Jalima1108 Sat 15-Sept-18 14:15:00

I asked how many times you see gc a month
Are you doing some research during your maternity leave Diktat?

Clearly some people see them a lot and some people not so much based on the responses.

That is quite a startling conclusion you have come to, I'm sure it will be well received when published.

paddyann Sat 15-Sept-18 14:33:43

But its not just YOUR baby Diktat its HIS baby too ,and he might well want to take it to see its GP's .

Madgran77 Sat 15-Sept-18 15:16:35

Diktat I know what you asked ....but why?

M0nica Sat 15-Sept-18 18:34:36

Is there a reason why you do not want your children to see their paternal grandparents?

lizzy67 Sat 15-Sept-18 20:03:24

Diktat, however much you try to wrap it up, you are being extremely mean to your kids, your husband, not to mention your own family. it really is time you grew up somewhat. You may well have given birth to these kids, but you certainly don't 'own' them. Learn to be kind to your hubby and inlaws. Learn to share you kids. after all, you really have no idea how long they will be here for, have you?

Cherrytree59 Sat 15-Sept-18 20:17:10

Diktat one day you may well be The MIL
I wonder how often you will see you your grandchildren.
karma and all that