GNHQ here - please read

Interesting that GNHQ chose to delete a whole thread started by me because there were so many posts that needed deleting, but they haven't done the same to their own thread, choosing instead to delete individual posts. Is it one rule for them? And how does this foster good debate?

From Growstuff - " . . posts weren't nasty. They were deleted because they referenced one post. Now it looks as though those who had posts deleted were being nasty. " Surely it is not beyond the admin at Gransnet to either say that the post repeated a deleted one in a response to it, or to only delete the repeated part - replacing it with^"quote deleted"^ or some such words?

The other answer is for evryone to avoid repeating an offensive post and just refer to it "XXXX was out of line to post what they did!" and so on.

In light of this thread I reported all four incidents. None of them in themselves were delectable, I concur, but sometimes GNHQ need to look beyond their ‘guidelines’ and actually try to understand what is really happening
Furret - your posts are always delectable

Thank you Lara I am fairly new to GN and post from time to time, but only on light hearted threads. Whilst being aware of
many kind, thoughtful and intelligent posters on GN I am also very aware of those who specialise in nastiness. I'm fragile, because I'm trying to come to terms with the tragic death of my son. Because of the nasty posters I feel unable to open up and share my feelings.

GagaJo

Haha, WWM. I just meant, that given we’re mostly elderly on this site, loneliness and possibly vulnerability can be an issue. Leading to reading too much into what was in my case (the accusation) a random occurance of posts.

I’m assuming it wasn’t me you accused of trolling/stalking, because if it was, I didn’t see your reply.

?no..

And yes I suspect you can overthink stuff.

Thank you Lara. I am fairly new to GN. Because of the nastiness of some of the people who post on here I only respond to the light hearted threads. I'm fragile as I am trying to come to terms with the tragic death of my son. To be attacked by one of the unpleasant posters would break me. This nastiness has prevented me from opening up and sharing, and ultimately benefitting from the experience of others. So many people who post on GN are kind, thoughtful and intelligent. It's such a pity some others cannot beg to differ without being confrontational. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, expressed thoughtfully. Social media can be so dangerous. I often ask myself if the person who posts aggressively would do the same face to face. Please be aware of the hurt and damage it is possible to cause by expressing your response harshly.

Aldom Even those posters who are over-quick to challenge others on their opinions or "attitudes" would not attack you for talking about your feelings in a genuinely distressing situation. Don't be afraid to post on one of the topics or threads that are meant for such discussions. There are only a few with itchy trigger-fingers, and they usually have favourite targets in their sights (as playground bullies do) or well-chewed bones to pick with certain others.

Thank you Elegran Sorry for posting twice, I hadn't realised I was posting at the beginning of the thread and thought my first post had disappeared. Kind regards.

The other answer is for evryone to avoid repeating an offensive post and just refer to it "XXXX was out of line to post what they did!" and so on
Elegran this is the reply I got when I asked why my post was deleted.
In case you missed it, A Poster said she had been trolled/stalked on another thread.
I (and others) politely responded that we thought she hadn’t been. No one repeated the offensive post.
I think that unfounded accusations of trolling are in fact a form of trolling, and I can’t understand why GNHQ should want to stifle discussion.
If posters can say they are bullied or harassed, what’s the problem with the T-word?

Aldom I'm very sorry to hear about the loss of your son.

There are so many lovely GN's so I hope you'll soon feel comfortable enough to talk about whatever you choose too.

I want to understand the definition of veiled posting so that we all understand it.

Anyone got any ideas?

Elegran

From Growstuff - " . . posts weren't nasty. They were deleted because they referenced one post. Now it looks as though those who had posts deleted were being nasty. " Surely it is not beyond the admin at Gransnet to either say that the post repeated a deleted one in a response to it, or to only delete the repeated part - replacing it with^"quote deleted"^ or some such words?

The other answer is for evryone to avoid repeating an offensive post and just refer to it "XXXX was out of line to post what they did!" and so on.

Please refer to janeainsworth's post. We didn't repeat an offensive post (and undermine the spirit of this thread) and I would be grateful of you didn't imply that we did.

I look forward to more positive, if at times spirited, discussion without personal attacks.

Whitewavemark2 , it's a way of posting that you sense an undercurrent from the poster but written in such a way that only the recipient of that post can pick up on if it's a " face to face " discussion. It's a crafty way of writing so as not to make it obvious that a poster is actually verbally abusing ( veiled )

Daft me---I've always been outspoken and wrap nothing up which is why I can come across quite blunt. But that's me.

I also have a suspicious mind as well and knew that two " strange " posters were both having a go. They haven't appeared since, both posted inflammatory posts with an aim to disrupt.

EllanVannin

Whitewavemark2 , it's a way of posting that you sense an undercurrent from the poster but written in such a way that only the recipient of that post can pick up on if it's a " face to face " discussion. It's a crafty way of writing so as not to make it obvious that a poster is actually verbally abusing ( veiled )

Daft me---I've always been outspoken and wrap nothing up which is why I can come across quite blunt. But that's me.

That’s exactly what I thought.

It is just that some people don’t appear to have got the message yet.

It is unpleasant and nasty.

Blunt is good! At least we can be blunt back?

Furret

I had someone follow me across two separate threads, jumping on innocuous remarks four times in half an hour in a sneaky underhand way. Clearly trying to goad me into an angry response. It’s not the first time this person has done this.

In light of this thread I reported all four incidents. None of them in themselves were delectable, I concur, but sometimes GNHQ need to look beyond their ‘guidelines’ and actually try to understand what is really happening.

I find I used to get that often. It’s always in full passive aggressive so could be claimed that I “misunderstood”. Apparently that’s the only way to say anything some days here. Calling it out gets your comments deleted for being “mean”

Not only that, I foolishly stated what my middle name was last week, but in innocence, and one of the posters had used the same name. Coincidence ? I don't think so.

EllanVannin

I also have a suspicious mind as well and knew that two " strange " posters were both having a go. They haven't appeared since, both posted inflammatory posts with an aim to disrupt.

Yes I was chuntering away in my usual long winded fashion and then bang!

It makes me breathless.

It's ironic that we're the shrinking little flowers who must be protected but who managed to bring up the robust, outspoken, anything goes Mumsnetters!

Oops, I used the word ironic

I could then have jumped in and reported it but as it happens I've never pressed the report button yet. Instead, I was wiped out Sod's law.

I did notice one new name EllanVannin but then the thread has been wiped and we have all been put in detention.

I too agree I have been increasingly disappointed at some of the real nastiness and have felt sometimes that I would give up the site. Also the reason I do not post often.

I'm so sorry to hear about the death of your son Aldom you have my sympathy

You will find there are a lot of kind and supportive posters on here so don't be afraid to chat.

Message deleted by Gransnet as it contains a previously deleted post.

This from a post on this thread, meaning that the quote function had been used and so the offensive post was repeated.
So GN does seem to be prepared to give that reason.

(I've noticed, tho, that if you just write out a nasty comment in order to reply to it, then it doesn't get deleted when the original one does.)