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Let's talk dating apps with Lumen

(241 Posts)
LucyBGransnet (GNHQ) Thu 17-Oct-19 12:08:11

This activity is now closed

In recent years, the number of people using dating apps to find that special someone has rapidly increased. Dating at any age can be difficult, but dating apps can make the process a little bit easier. Whether you’ve used a dating app before or not, Lumen wants to hear from you.

Here’s what Lumen has to say: “Dating apps are in full swing these days, with an estimated 59 million people using them worldwide, and that’s only as of 2017. Now, the number will only be higher and it's easy to see why. As our lives become busier and more hectic, it can be tricky to find time to set aside to go on dates, or to even find people to go on dates with. Dating apps come in to help us there, by allowing us to get chatting to people more easily. It’s not just a millennial’s game anymore.

More and more people over 50 are turning to dating apps to find someone to spend their later years with. You may have many friends and maybe even a family of your own, but that doesn’t mean you should be content with being single if you don’t want to be. If you’re ready to get back into dating, whether you’re in your fifties or beyond, then it might be time to try a dating app like Lumen.”

Have you got any experience of using dating apps? If so, were they good or bad experiences? Have you found good connections or engaged in quality conversations on dating apps?

Do you find dating apps easy or difficult to use? And, if you have never used a dating app, what do you think of them? Have you considered it but been put off?

Share your thoughts about dating apps on the thread below and you will be entered into a prize draw where one GNer will win a £300 voucher of their choice (from a list).

Thanks and good luck!

Standard Insight T&Cs Apply

paintingthetownred Thu 17-Oct-19 15:04:52

I haven't been brave enough to try any over fifties dating ads. Tried in the past things like plentyoffish. Guardian.
Like to believe I'm not entirely 'past it'...
look forward to hearing others experiences...and eventually live up to my user name...

paintingthetownred Thu 17-Oct-19 15:05:15

course I meant apps not ads

Grannyknot Thu 17-Oct-19 17:56:02

I've not had cause to use a dating app, but I met my husband on a blind date 40 years ago and I don't see that as being much different, excepting that it was his friend who acted as matchmaker, instead of him posting his own details on an app - back then, we didn't even speak on the telephone before that first date! I knew very little about him.

Come to think of it, that's a plan, people who put their profile on a dating app should have reviews from their friends smile ... that way you have context.

mcem Thu 17-Oct-19 18:13:46

Not interested. Post - divorce I explored the possibilities and found only needy older men looking for a housekeeper.
Far happier being independent!

Pittcity Thu 17-Oct-19 18:29:15

I would be put off because it would be easy to hide behind a fake identity. I'd prefer to meet people socially as in the "olden days".

quizqueen Thu 17-Oct-19 18:39:09

I don't have a smart phone so can't use apps but do use online dating sites. The majority of men I may like and talk to seem to live nowhere near me so that puts a damper on it straight away. Sometimes I really like their profile but then I see they can't spell for toffee, don't like animals or they are a Liberal or Labour supporter so I know we will be totally unsuitable, so I haven't actually gone on any dates yet with people I've connected to online.

Pre-internet days, I did have a few dates with men who advertised in my local newspaper and all of them were quite nice but I just knew there was no real immediate connection so didn't pursue them. I'm very fussy. I have a lot of men friends, who are just friends, but haven't been lucky enough to meet anyone since my divorce whom I have wanted to get romantically acquainted with- yet!

FlexibleFriend Thu 17-Oct-19 19:38:45

No thanx, too many old geezers hiding behind pics taken ten years ago, no doubt some women do the same. Most only looking for sex and tbh most sound quite bitter not to mention all the unwanted pics of bits of their anatomy I'd rather not see before I've even met them.

BlueBelle Thu 17-Oct-19 20:13:21

fkexible I totally agree not for me thanks for the same reasons

jaylucy Fri 18-Oct-19 10:56:40

Have in the past been on a couple of dating sites - one was that I gave up on because the charges seemed to go up and up and besides, I might have been a "fave" of some, but never the ones I was interested in!
The other were local ones - I had contacts from several men and seemed to be getting on well, to the point of arranging a meeting with one guy who seemed really nice . A few days before I posted a new photo of myself that was a couple of months old (prev one was a couple of years old). The day before we were due to meet, I got a message from the guy to say that sorry, I was a lovely lady, but not his type! I think he was looking more for someone tall, blonde and slim to make the ex wife jealous - I'm 5'5, and lets say curvy!
Another man that lived in my nearest town I had been "chatting" with for about 9 months. Out of the blue, he told me that he "didn't want any kind of relationship with me, now or in the future , but we had fun, didn't we?"
After that I gave up and decided I was better off on my own !

bobble5366 Sat 19-Oct-19 08:26:24

I have used a dating app (the one beginning with M) after my divorce 18 months ago, I found the process exciting and relatively easy, but I am IT savvy, so uploading a 'decent' photo was fine, and the tick boxes and how to complete my registration was fine. However when it came to arranging a meeting I was too nervous to go ahead with meeting a 'stranger' - on the crowded place - as suggested.

Silvergran59 Sat 19-Oct-19 08:31:22

I've dabbled with Ourtime as it seemed to be the one most applicable to me, but I found the whole process difficult, and was too embarrassed to ask for help - registration - what to put - how to describe me - what I was looking for - then became suspicious of the men on there - you hear so many stories of women being taken for a ride by people who are not who they proport to be, I'd much rather meet 'the one' at a club I attend - as they are more likely to be genuine as a better match than one on a 'dating app'

lillyofthevalley Sat 19-Oct-19 08:36:25

Have you got any experience of using dating apps?

I've used Match and Zoosk and still have 'live' profiles on there.

If so, were they good or bad experiences?

Both, I have met very lovely men, but after having a bite to eat and a chat - you just know you do not want to see them again, I had one bad experience when the gentleman was asking me too many personal questions and made me feel very uncomfortable.

Have you found good connections or engaged in quality conversations on dating apps?

Yes I have chatted on line with several gentlemen, and really looked forward to the 'too and fro' of the conversation.

Do you find dating apps easy or difficult to use?


And, if you have never used a dating app, what do you think of them? Have you considered it but been put off?

I was put off before I registered, but decided to give it a go - I am not looking to re-marry, just a lovely relationship with a like minded person.

montydoo Sat 19-Oct-19 08:43:32

I used a dating app to have a bit of fun (I was unhappily married at the time)

Yes, they are easy to use, I found setting up a profile was fine,
After a few on-line chats, with gentlemen, I found that my OH was not so bad after all, after advice I was given by a fellow 'Matcher'

They are a good way of meeting a potential date, but make sure you are doing it for the right reasons.

DorisDay99 Sat 19-Oct-19 08:47:42

Have you got any experience of using dating apps?

Last year I 'dabbled' with Ourtime.

If so, were they good or bad experiences?

Mainly good - I enjoyed the company and look forward to receiving and responding to messages.

Have you found good connections or engaged in quality conversations on dating apps?

Yes, I have been lucky to have lovely conversations with like minded men, however many were not local to me, so could not progress.

Do you find dating apps easy or difficult to use?

At first, quite difficult - the whole process felt complicated and I gave up several times, then one day persevered and set up my account.

And, if you have never used a dating app, what do you think of them? Have you considered it but been put off?

ottypotty Sat 19-Oct-19 13:06:45

My thoughts on dating apps are, if it's for you, go for it, embrace the technology, don't be flattered by a lethario, if you want to take it to the next stage, meet in a public place, DON'T SEND MONEY. As you can see, I am quite sceptical about dating sites. I am yet to see a success story.

I have been divorced once and widowed for many years, I like my own company and not ready to share my life with another - yet. Never say never I may 'have a dabble' in the future - but for now I will leave this form of friendship/relationship to others.

fizzers Sat 19-Oct-19 14:15:38

I have dabbled on various dating sites, I met some lovely people, however, I also came across quite a few liars, cheats, conmen and those out for what they can get.

I find the friendship sites a better starting place.

Am not looking for anyone at the moment

glammanana Sat 19-Oct-19 17:55:10

If I where interested in looking for a new partner (which I am not) I would never consider a dating app all the bad press about them would frighten me off,false photographs and false profiles in a lot of them I tend to think,my favourite app was my sister who introduced me to mr.glamma 45+ yrs ago it was second time around for both of us and we have had very few hiccups during that time I don't think I would ever find anyone like him again.

TwinLolly Sat 19-Oct-19 22:48:00

I never tried dating apps but I did go onto 2 or 3 online dating websites. Unfortunately I got answers from men with untoward ideas.

Eventually I tried a totally different friendship website (naturist friendship website) and after a few months chatting online with one chap, we finally got to meet up. He was a true gentleman during my weekend visit (I flew to France because he was living there at the time, and he said I could bring friends if I wanted to).

That weekend changed our lives. We liked each other, wanted to see each other again, and over time love grew.

He proposed on a glacier in Alaska (no engagement ring but he used a tiny glass slipper - Cinderella style - because I've got small feet!) and we got married (naked) in the Namibian desert - just us, a wonderful priest and a photographer, as well as quadbike personnel who kindly let us do their 'sunset champagne tour' for our marriage. So we had champagne and nibbles after our vows.

Dating apps and websites have their ups and downs, and people have to be very careful because there are many out there who are not who they say they are. If I did go out on a date - I always ensured it was a public place. However I did throw caution to the wind when flying out to France. My gut feeling told me I would be fine. Fortunately it all turned out for the better. Nearly 3 years happily married now.

AJL123 Sun 20-Oct-19 08:11:43

I havent been brave enough although my friend has had great success through the dating site on Classic FM

grannyactivist Sun 20-Oct-19 13:38:00

I have no need for a dating app, but am delighted that one of my foster sons met his wife through a Christian dating site and another dear friend is now 'courting' (do we still say that?) having met a very lovely widower through a dating app.

Jacqueq Sun 20-Oct-19 18:38:56

Dating apps, a great idea but an absolute minefield. I've joined a few, talked with a few, saw some I knew who were married oh and had to block quite a few who thought I needed to see their private member shock. Well I'm no prude and a little bit anxious but found this a turn off. I only met one hour for a breakfast date and he seem a nice guy, similar to myself but no chemistry on either side. My nephew has married his tinder meet and they have a growing family. I've heard of success stories so I'm not totally out off. Met my current sweetheart playing online games so not currently using. It's hard to meet people but it isn't a first hit success rate. If everyone was honest it would be great but it's great if you just be sensible and cautious, dating shop be fun.

Grannyknot Sun 20-Oct-19 19:21:32

TwinLolly wow! That's quite something smile

BlueBelle Mon 21-Oct-19 08:05:35

When I was divorced many thousand of years ago I used a dating magazine ( that’s how long ago) I suppose that was the forerunner of the dating sites I didn’t find any success and found it all a bit daunting travelling to a strange town to meet up in a strange bar Only did it a few times and the men seemed far too intent on ‘finding someone (anyone)’

LolaHolaSnr Mon 21-Oct-19 09:37:07

Everyone seems to do things online nowadays so why not dating?! Not for me tho' cos I'm happily married.