Long Lost Families

I like it too. I especially remember one case from the very first series where a young woman had a baby and was fortunate enough to be able to take the baby home and stay with her parents. Then her mum became ill and she went out to work while leaving her baby in a nursery but on returning home had to care for her baby as well as do all the cooking, housework and laundry for the other children in the family. On the verge of a complete physical and nervous collapse, her doctor told her she could not continue and she had to put her daughter up for adoption - at the age of 18 months - and she described waving to her as she left her for the last time. It was a really heartbreaking story. It was a happy ending but must have been a most terrible experience.

I'm not so sure that blood is always thicker than water but I think that people generally feel a need to know where they come from and whether they have any blood relatives still alive.

always sad,my aunts were housed out when my granny died they were 4 and 6 ,the relatives who took them changed their minds and put them into seperate childrens homes .My lovely dad was only a boy but when he turned 16 he found them and visited and one of them lived with us for a wee while when she got out of the home.Sadly we lost touch when we ALL moved homes in the 60's they went south of the boder and any mail they sent never reached us.My dad always worried about them .Just a few years ago I traced the daughetr of one on FB and have visited them both.They were desperate to know about family,and though I didn't have much information I gave them all I could .It made a huge difference to them to know about their mother and grandparents and to get information that filled their family tree back until 1740...well on one side, I didn't have their dads info as he was my Step GF .We keep in touch and I know it means the world to them .Sadly Dad was long gone by the time I found them but I'm sure he would have been thrilled too

Think I must be the only person who dislikes this overly sentimental 'show' . So much emotion for people who don't know each other. Definitely nurture not nature for me.

I know someone who was in this series and said that after the big reunion they will probably never meet again.

I don´t live in the UK, so I always watch this on youtube a day later, Very moving. But am getting very tired of the same format, the same phrases, the same outcome. Very often you donˇt get to know the nitty gritty, the lady in last night´s episode was keen to find out about her obvious Asian heritage, but there was no clue. There were other siblings who didn´t want to appear in the programme. Did they ever get to meet? We have a similar programme where I live, but sometimes you get the cases where people refuse to meet up for whatever reason. It makes for more compelling viewing, wondering what will happen. Long lost families is just too predictable. I found my cousins in Brazil a few years ago just through searching the internet, I went out there and we had a wonderful reunion and are still in touch.

I do enjoy it. Seems often, however happy a person is with their current life, there is an overwhelming, understandable desire to know about their blood family, and why they were given up. There must be feelings of rejection, why was I the one given away etc.

I always want to know more about what happens next, with the merging of two families. Often I think it can't end that happily, but at least they have more information about their past.

I am intrigued by the atavistic imperative to find blood relatives; but slightly irritated by the "wait for the tears" format.

Not everyone feels rejected seacliff we can understand life's problems and not everyone can cope. What I don't understand is people falling into the arms of someone they have never met before and weeping buckets. Perhaps its just me.

I've never understood that either. I'm sure I would be quite bristly at first.

I haven't seen this programme.
Eldest daughter is going to America with her partner next month to meet his 'real' father, who left his mother when he was a baby.
I'm really interested to find out how they cope - partner is 50 now, so his father must be getting on too.
I can't imagine him falling on his father's neck in tears, but you never know. It's bound to be emotional.

The sense of belonging& knowing is I think inate in everyone., even more so these days & also with medical knowledge being important in the diagnosis of certain hereditary conditions. Even if the adoption works out well that sense of ' who am I , whom am I like, what is my background., why was I adopted ,is ,for the majority of people the question that sticks in their heads for most of their lives, especially people born in the 40s & 50s where information was hidden from adopted children. Although this has improved greatly,I think the time has come for all adopted children to have automatic access to their case history at a much earlier age & that the adoptive parents undertake to supply said information at age appropriate times. It would save a lot of people a lot of heartache.

Ps Christinefrance, emotions & expectations can run high , hence the tears , a sense of relief of finally knowing etc, For a lot of people the contact falls away naturally became, but the adopted person is more at peace by just knowing .

You're right norose about contact falling away. When it's the long-lost mother who isn't particularly interested it can be hard on the 'adopted child' and hard to watch a DD feeling hurt after tracing her.
However there is consolation if a sibling is keen to form and maintain the new relationship.

Yes definitely I agree Mcem, plus the 'wonderings' disappear & life can be lived more honestly.

Ps. Even if sadly as in your DD case it comes with double rejection, but she has the comfort of you a lovely caring ' proper' mum

I love it but always watch it on my own because it makes me cry so much - happy tears because of the reunions.

Perhaps there are far fewer adoptions these days as there is no longer the shame and stigma of a child born out of wedlock. That seems to be the reason for many adoptions though I'm not sure of the statistics. But no matter how loving the adoptive parents there are questions to be answered and I do believe adoption records should be available if wanted. Some people might prefer not to know.

Can't agree norose4 neither do I agree with the the term ' real parent' for a biological parent. Surely the real parent is the one who takes care of the child, loves and protects that child. There is too much emphasis placed on a so called blood relationship.
mrsmopp I think the records should be available too if only to check on genetic /hereditary issues.

Everyone has different experiences good or bad, but it seems to be a basic instinct to want to know about our own personal roots . Yes you are correct about my use of the word real , I agree the person who brings you up is the 'real hands on parent' I should have used the term birth mother or biological mother,but the sentiment is the same

Both of my DDs were given all the information we had at an early age, having known from babyhood about their adoptions.
DD1 did trace her birth mother (her term) but DD2 did not.
Each made her own choice with 100% support!

Mcem, it's wonderful that your 'girls' were supported by you in their decision to do what felt right for them and with your blessing & information. I like to think that these days most adoptees are given their personal information,which was not always the case in previous generations .

Yes the adopted children who cope best are the ones who are told straight away about their adoption. Secrets always will out.

I suppose, unless you've been in that position yourself, you can't possibly understand what it feels like to not know where you have come from.

I am in that position Eloethan but I am my own person and don't need others to validate me. I do however have some knowledge of my biological mother.